Courtney Milan

Alright, lots of thoughts, lots of feelings. Ultimately, I really liked Unclaimed! But I have some think-y thoughts and that's all they are, really.

I'll start with what I enjoyed: Mark is an advocate for men's chastity. He wrote a book about his beliefs that became wildly popular - to the point where The QUEEN herself ordered a special leather-bound copy made, and scores other men have formed an unsanctioned club in the book's honor (complete with armbands, secret hand signals and wonky writings by fervent fans). Other reviewers have pointed out how, essentially, Mark accidentally inspired a bunch of men to become proud incels (but more like voluntarily celibate, I suppose lol). To be clear, Mark does not support these men or how they have interpreted his writings. This storyline was so fascinating to me because it feels like SUCH A THING that is real.

I was constantly vacillating between feeling sorry for and rolling my eyes at Mark for not realizing how his book would inspire a bunch of misogynists (I roll my eyes in a good way lol his ignorance was so well-written). like OF COURSE these men were always going to find a way to exploit Mark's message. And although he became more and more unsettled by the behavior of these men, he did very little to curb these zealots. I don't know, MARK, maybe you should have attempted to stay ahead of things a bit? He even thinks to himself early on, "why was it that men had to take every good principle and turn it into some sort of a club?" Also the more Mark emphasized how it is women who suffer while unchaste men always seem to land on their feet; it starts to feel a little bit patronizing (again, the ignorance was so accurate).

Mark's whole chosen chastity situation reminded me of the Josh Hartnett film, 40 Days and 40 Nights in that the longer the MMC holds tightly to his chastity pledge, after meeting someone they fancy, the more ridiculous and harmful this pledge becomes (especially since these are not life-long pledges. In Hartnett's case it is only for 40 days and in Mark's case until marriage). like come on and just Live! Love! Fuck! But this knowledge - that you recognize you no longer have use for previous constraints you placed upon yourself, that having sex is not the issue - arrives after unnecessary hardship. I appreciate that Milan showed this change with Mark; it was slow but natural. It was an enjoyable frustration, reading Mark's ideas being misconstrued so terribly AND that his book and ideas deserved some strong pushback especially from himself. And I suppose he doesn't really push back on his published thoughts enough, but alas his growth worked for me.

What didn't work for me as much was Jessica's portrayal of a self-loathing courtesan. So much of her story is about how sad and depressed she is due to her work as a courtesan and her status as a fallen woman, that she cannot recall a time when she derived any pleasure from sex. . . these are just tired ideas about sex workers. In some bonus content at the back of the book, Milan wrote how she wanted to explore the virgin-man and courtesan-woman dynamic and I agree it is a compelling concept! I actually think a better version of this dynamic is Jenny Nordbak's Her Filthy Rockstar. But Nordbak is a former sex worker, so it is not a surprise she would write sex workers who enjoy sex, their careers and like themselves as they are. Jessica's self-loathing was often in contrast to Mark's love of himself: Mark often thinks and says aloud, "Hey, I like myself!" That repeated contrast became disheartening after a while.

I am often reminded how unkind the genre is to sex workers and how sex work is treated like a trope when sex work is a political term that was coined by Carol Leigh, the "Scarlet Harlot" a sex work activist (among so many other things, RIP). There is a deficit of empathy in regard to sex workers and not just in books published over 10 years ago, this is still an issue today (and my gaia, not just books - society as a whole has this issue so I do not lay blame on romance). I've been having some excellent conversations with sex workers who read romance, about Romance's Sex Work Problem, and I hope to share insights in the near future. I love this interview from the Holly Randall Unfiltered show with Kaytlin Bailey - who speaks about how sex workers think of themselves and their work and how that contrasts with civilians' ideas about how sex workers should think about themselves. It is especially poignant that Bailey points out that the fallen woman often found freedom in the fall: Kaytlin Bailey: The History and Future of Sex Workers… (meer)

4.25 - 4.5ish stars

This book made me feel very sad but in a good way? Like my heart hurts. This is my second Courney Milan and I am already in love with her writing.

What didn't work for me, and prevented me from 5 stars: Blake and Tina decide to "switch lives" for a semester. He's a billionaire heir to a tech company and she's an immigrant and student from a working-class family. They agree to part ways entirely once the semester is up. Oh but feelings come along, because DUH! I feel like if you fall in love with each other it's okay to just say that and stop thinking so gloomily about having to disappear from one another's lives once the time period of your whatever you want to call it is up. Like, things were already tense enough!… (meer)

Something that I find curious is how often people will say Courtney Milan writes "low steam/not very spicy" books. It is curious because I have not read a book by Courtney Milan that wasn't hot. I think this may be a "me" issue because, for me, it is not acts that dictate steam rather the vibes. . . and idunno Milan's books are horny! Big emotions and unsaid words and the tension of someone longing so desperately for the other person to like them, to see them reads pretty hot to me! And my god her prose sets my heart on fire.… (meer)