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Geoff: They put me in a box with me coat on! I know it don't sound much when you say it out loud.
Geoff: You my friend are f-u-k-t, fucked!
Bernice: Now love, you might ask what harm can come from a young maiden such as yourself being drawn toward this... attractive Chevalier. To find yourself opening like a beautiful flower in the warmth of the morning sun; enjoying the simple blossoming of womanhood. Bullshit! You come in here with your fishy fingers all over my communion wafers, slinging your jelly every hour God sends! Go on - get stuffed! You should be digusted with yourself! Go play stinky pinky somewhere else!
Hilary: This is Hilary Briss Reece: (mocking) Oh hello, Mr Briss, this is Mr Shearsmitz. Not you as well Mark, I'm not doing this stupid gig on my own.
Hilary: (reading the script) ''Geoff Tipps, a clever man with a big cock, comes in and stops the king from being killed. He is a Hero. His cock is big''
Tubbs: I made a little brown fish!
Edward: Going somewhere local?
Herr Lipp: I usually back up on a five inch floppy. Geoff: I bet you do.
Dr Pea: The creature has to see, sweetie.
Geoff: Don't kill Mark Gatiss. If you do, you're not giving him chance to change.
Sir Nicholas Sheet-Lightning: George of ASDA...who art thou, ASDA?