Heartbreaking account of Grace's struggle with gender dysphoria. ( )

Included in a blog post and resource list at https://booksbeyondbinaries.blog/2019/06/10/non-fiction-about-gender-and-trans-e...

I'm only a casual fan of Against Me! I can't say that I was there at the beginning of this band. I can't say that I was crushed when they went mainstream because New Wave was the first time I heard them (and if I'm being fair, it was fairly recently that I picked up the album. I heard "Stop!" too many times on the radio when it came out that I was kind of sick of it, so I didn't pick it up right away). I was more interested in Laura's journey and her story. I'm only two years younger than her, I grew up in the suburbs skateboarding, playing guitar in bands, and also listening to punk music, but it was what she described as the "Warp Tour/Fat Wreck Chords" bands, not the DIY punk community. Even so, from that little interaction, my view of the "punk" community was that they were less open than they appeared. The suburban punks were not into anarchy as a lifestyle and political choice, but because they were bored, fairly well off kids looking to blow off steam. For many of them, it was a phase, and they would grow up and readopt the conservative politics of their parents. This is not the same DIY community that Laura Jane Grace first described, but I understand her feelings here too. Once again, their world view tends to be less understanding or open than they proclaim. The word "sellout" is the worst sin imaginable. It is almost like a religion, which I understand. Its a community of people who have rejected society's mores and if someone from that community decides to leave it, it can feel like a deep betrayal or blasphemy. I'm glad that Grace was able to accept herself eventually. Unfortunately, that DIY punk mentality might have affected her journey too, because she was afraid of seeking help, feeling the need to hide these feelings and actions for so long and shoulder the burden alone. And I can't really blame her because she still felt betrayed by the system when she sought aid, at least in Florida. I'm glad she found a better therapist in Chicago. But in coming out, especially as a public figure, she helped many people and hopefully they won't experience the same pain she went through alone.

Yes, there were times she came across as a jerk in this book. Many times actually. She ragged on ex-bandmates, managers, lawyers, friends, journalists, other bands, and did many regrettable things as Tom. But I admire her bravery for putting it out there, because a lot of people would be tempted to change the story after the fact, to try to paint herself in a better light, to justify, or to dismiss events. Grace doesn't shy away from presenting herself honestly, and that's also part of the acceptance journey. Even though I'm not as invested in the band, I will probably seek out more music now, and I want to read more about her life. I want to know what's happened from 2016 to now. Has she matured more? How has her transition been going? Is she happier now? ( )

This book balances a focus on Laura Jane Grace's development as a musician with a focus on her struggle to come to terms with her gender. It's pretty heavy at times, particularly in its depictions of substance abuse and dysphoria. As a trans person, I think it does a fantastic job of representing many common transgender experiences--most vividly, the shame and fear many people associate with the idea of transitioning--and I highly recommend it to anyone who's questioning their gender. ( )

I want to say first off that I received this book through a GoodReads Giveaway, and I'm grateful to the publisher for the opportunity to read this book. I am also a non-binary trans person, and so that obviously colors the way I read this book.

I've read a lot of trans memoirs in my life, and I'm happy to say this one does a lot of work that isn't within that genre. It helps, of course, that Grace was already known and had a career she could (and did!) write about extensively. In straddling these two genres--the trans memoir and the career memoir--she's able to craft this piece that feels like it in itself is in transition, that she's grappling with things as they're being presented to us. The heavy quotations from her journals are nice in sort of hitting on how she was feeling in the moment.

What I think I appreciated the most, though, was her last chapter about how difficult her experience with medical transition was, and how she second-guessed herself. That we almost never see in transitional-focused memoirs, and I appreciate how candid she was about that struggle.

Overall, this was a great glimpse into Grace's career and personal life, a really moving memoir, and a really candid look at her own experience as a trans woman! ( )