Carmel Budiardjo spent three years in detention without trial as a suspected communist in Indonesia. In this compelling account of her time in detention centres and the notorious Bukit Duri prison in Jakarta, she describes the suffering of her fellow political prisoners and her own experience of interrogation and psychological torment. Her personal story is interwoven with a narrative of the political situation which led to her arrest, especially the events of 1965 which culminated in the murder of six generals followed by the massacre by the authorities of over a million people.