After surviving the horror of WWII, Rachel moves to America with her Uncle Fritz. She marries Aaron and tries to blend into a normal life. However, her past constantly creeps in, making her depressed, difficult to live with and unpredictable. When her Uncle finds one of her mother's paintings, the past threatens to overwhelm Rachel.

I had a hard time with this book. I thought that it was rambling, all over the place. Some of the characters felt stereotypical and the plot was pretty predictable. This is not a book I would reread or recommend. ( )

The novel starts in 1955 in New York City where Rachel lives with her husband Aaron. Rachel has only been in the United States for several years after entering the country from Germany as a displaced person with her uncle, her only family left alive after the war. She tries to acclimate to life in New York as a housewife but is consumed with her memories of war time Berlin and the survivor's guilt that haunts her.

Even though Rachel is living what should be a happy life with her husband, her memories are easily triggered about her life in Berlin during the war. Her husband had been in the Army during the war but never left the US and she tells him constantly that he has no idea of what it was like to be a Jew in Berlin during the war...how she and her mother, a famous painter, hid in plain sight and tried not to be discovered by the Gestapo...how she never had enough food and rarely had a bed to sleep in. Every day was a struggle and when she and her mother were discovered by the Gestapo, life got much worse as they struggled to stay alive despite the ever growing threats to their lives. Now she's in New York and can buy food, travel round town, dress well and always has a place to sleep. Her husband loves her and tries to make her happy but she is so overwhelmed with her survivor's guilt that she isn't able to truly return his love. Her mind is constantly remembering her life in Germany with her mother and it takes very little for her to remember her past.

When her uncle calls and tells her that he's found one of her mother's painting at a pawnshop, she has to see it despite the memories that it brings. Rachel believed that all of her mother's paintings were destroyed by the Germans. She tries to buy it but someone else buys it first. Rachel is also an artist but won't return to her painting because she feel that her talent is nothing compared to her mother. Aaron tries to help her acclimate to her life in New York but is not successful. He would love to have children but doesn't push the issue because she just doesn't feel like she can bring a child into this world or be a good mother to her child.

I read many WWII era books but this is the first one I've read that takes such a introspective look at a survivor of the war and the way they deal with their guilt - not only that they survived and others didn't but also their thoughts that they could have done something - anything to save people that they loved. This is a beautiful look at loss and love and learning to live with memories of the past.

This is a fantastic, well written book about survival, redemption and learning to love again - not only your family but more importantly yourself. This book haunted me after I finished it and I was unable to start a new book for a few days. Even weeks after I finished it, I still think about Rachel and her valiant struggle to learn from her past and not allow her past memories control her current life. ( )

A captivating novel of a Berlin girl on the run from the guilt of her past and the boy from Brooklyn who loves her

The trauma, horror, and survivor guilt never leave you...Rachel knows it all very well.

Rachel is now in America and married to Aaron, but her time during the war haunts her, and she can't be happy.

We follow Rachel as she can’t help re-living the horror and tries to be a good American wife.

She resents that Aaron has family and she has lost everyone but Uncle Fritz. She had lived with Uncle Fritz when they came to America until she married Aaron. Uncle Fritz can be an "operator." He was during the war and still appears to be.

Rachel goes through her days with the smallest thing reminding her of the war and her crime and speaks to and sees her critical mother.

One day Uncle Fritz who always needs money summoned her to meet him because he found a painting in a pawn shop her mother had painted and one that had survived the war. The only problem is that they couldn't afford the fifty dollars to buy it. When they went back to try to get it at a cheaper price, the painting had been sold.

That photo brought back bad memories, but she wants it.

Rachel doesn't trust her Uncle and thinks he found fifty dollars and took the painting and sold it for more money.

We go back and forth from wartime to present day as Mr. Gillham masterfully blends both timelines and as you are feeling what Rachel is feeling during the horror of wartime and her suffering in present day as she tries to forget and to adapt to her life in America.

SHADOWS OF BERLIN is another gem by Mr. Gillham that will tear at your heartstrings but also have you hoping that Rachel can overcome her nightmares and be happy. 5/5

This book was given to me by the publisher for an honest review. ( )

Shadows of Berlin is an apt title for this book as the shadows of the atrocities and betrayals visited upon the Jews in Germany (and elsewhere) follow Rachel to America and affect all the days of her life. She marries, but her survivor guilt and what is now called post traumatic stress infiltrate this relationship.

It took me a while to get into and appreciate this book. It is at its best with its detailed descriptions of New York in the 1950s and when Rachel’s reflects back to the unimaginable horrors of Berlin under the Nazis. Characterization was well developed, although I felt the husband was quite unlikable, presented almost as a caricature.

This is a well written, worthwhile book. If you have initial difficulty reading it, I encourage you to stick with it.

The past few years, I’ve read quite a bit of historical fiction about the World War II era and its after effects. At first, I saw them as lessons for our times, but now, with what is going on in the world, I keep asking: How can this be happening again?

Thanks to #netgalley and #sourcebookslandmark for the DRC. ( )