Lena Andersson (1) (1970–)

You need to read my old review of this book first because you need to understand why I reread a book I've spent three year thinking was overrated and dumb. Because when I read it three years ago I didn't get it, at all. I had been single for eight years and hadn't attempted any dating at all, so I didn't know what it was like.

This past year I have dated several guys and every time it ended I thought to myself "oh no, I'm exactly like Ester Nilsson. I'm everything I hated". I thought she was a pathetic woman who took no responsibility for her own emotions and now I love her because she fucking tries calling him out on his bullshit. She rarely succeeds, but she tries.

And I still feel like it shouldn't be like this, but it absolutely is. All the guys I've dated has been exactly like this, but in their own stupid ways. They've all done some version of possessing you, then disappearing, then convincing themselves they never made any promises anyway. And it's all your fault.

Yeah, anyway I've completely changed my mind on this book. I'm sorry about that, past!Ell, but sometimes that's how it goes… (meer)

Yet another book that could've been solved by lesbianism.

Honestly I just don't get it!? It's meant to be ~*oh so relateable*~ and yes I kinda relate because wow was I like that when I was eighteen and in love but please for the love of all the gods tell me that this isn't still how love is when you're in your 30s!?!?!?!?! I know Sex and the City wants me to think so but that was the fucking 90s, we're over it by now aren't we? Ester is so fucking annoying and I just spent the entire novel wanting to fuckign SLAP her in the face and scream for her to get her shit together because what the fuck is her problem!? Yes he slept with you and he was a douche but you're the one who fell in love with him after talking once and dumped your boyfriend for him and all that shit? You can't hold him fucking responsible for fucking up your entire life even if he was an asshole because you did all that even before you knew him.

I don't want life to be like this. I refuse. I'm into girls and boys but if this how relatable straight romances are meant to be then I'm fucking out.… (meer)

An intellectual analysis of why smart women fall for terrible men and do stupid things. Ester Nilsson's story was just a never-ending loop of destructive behavior, which stretched over 3 years and over 300 pages. For a big part of the book, I just wished for it to end faster. But I guess there is a reason for it to be so stretched, otherwise you couldn't grip the sheer size of the misery. I am happy I stuck with it until the end, though. The ending was satisfying.
I really enjoyed revisiting Sweden by book. Ester walks through big part of Stockholm and crisscrosses all through Sweden in her second-hand pea-green Renault Twingo chasing after or escorting her love interest.… (meer)