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Karen Bender

Auteur van Refund: Stories

7+ Werken 354 Leden 18 Besprekingen

Over de Auteur

Karen E. Bender grew up in Los Angeles & graduated from UCLA with a B.S. in psychology & the University of Iowa with an M.F.A. She won the Rona Jaffe Foundation Writers' Award & lives in New York City. (Bowker Author Biography)

Werken van Karen Bender

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Excellent writing, but I found the stories a bit empty and inconsistent. Open ended endings are really not my thing. Once and awhile they're OK, but the vast majority of the endings simply leave the reader hanging. The hype on the book jacket made it sound like this was one of the best books of short stories ever put to paper. Although good, and I do recommend it, the hyperbole overshadowed the actual content.
 
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BenM2023 | 5 andere besprekingen | Nov 22, 2023 |
Finished Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion. This is a collection of essays edited by Bender and de Gramont. Like most collections of essays, some are spectacular and some are just okay, hence, the 3 out of 5 rating.

I believe that this book should be read by anyone who cares about reproductive rights and politics, whether they are "pro-choice" or "pro-life". The most important lessons I learned from these essays are these: "choice" is about a lot more than choosing between getting an abortion or carrying a child to term, and reproductive choices are rarely made flippantly or "just for convenience". If nothing else, this book taught me that anyone who thinks that the issue of choice is easy and clearcut is unlikely to have read the stories of real women who have had to make reproductive choices. Abortion is not easy but neither is giving a child up for adoption or keeping it. Fertility treatments are expensive and emotionally exhausting. Being or using a surrogate mother has a social stigma that can ruin lives. And sometimes the choice to adopt is made possible only because some other woman was denied the chance to keep a child she wanted to love.

This is best illustrated with passages from some of the essays that affected me the most.

From "The Ballad of Bobbie Jo" by Jacquelyn Mitchard, discussing the woman who had chosen to be a surrogate mother for the author of the essay,
She carried out son, Atticus — conceived through in vitro fertilization at a clinic in our home state — to a healthy, full-term birth. She endured stinging criticism from friends and strangers, a cesarean birth, and a brutal legal judgment to proudly fulfill all her obligations to us — although fulfilling all her obligations to us cost her everything she thought was real and brought down criticism on all our heads.
Bobbie Jo chose to be a surrogate mother. When her husband, who had initially agreed, changed his mind part way through the pregnancy, he convinced the judge in their small southern town that Bobbie Jo was not fit to take care of her own two children.

From "If" by Susan Ito, the story of a mother who was forced to choose between her own life and that of her desperately wanted child,
"Baby needs at least two more weeks for viability. He's already too small, way too small. But you…" He looked at me sadly, shook his head. "You probably can't survive two weeks without having a stroke, seizures, worse." He meant I could die.



I signed the papers of consent, my hand moving numbly across the paper, my mind screaming, I do not consent. I do not, I do not.

In the evening, Weiss's associate entered with a tray, a syringe, and a nurse with mournful eyes.

"It's just going to be a be a sting," he said.

And it was: a small tingle, quick pricking bubbles under my navel and then a thing like a tiny drinking straw that went in and out with a barely audible pop. It was so fast. I thought, I love you, I love you, you must be hearing this, please hear me.


From "BEARING SORROW: A Birthmother's Reflections on Choice" by Janet Mason Ellerby, Ellerby was a pregnant teenager in the 60s. She was forced to give up her child for adoption, and this scarred her for life. This is just after she found out she was pregnant.
My body was not my own; perhaps it never had been. When it had escaped my parents control, Alec had immediately taken it up, and when he had abandoned it, a baby had claimed it. It may sound as if I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions, but in fact, I did not completely understand that my body was my own dominion, that I could say what did and did not happen to it. In significant ways, women were not led to believe that they owned their bodies — the state, their husbands, or their fathers did. I willingly handed my body and my future back to my parents. Their money and authority took over, and I surrendered all bids at self-control I would not be allowed to make another decision for a long, long time.


I could go on. But the gist of all the essays is this: Reproduction and building a family is complicated, and the choices involved are not the clearcut, black and white, simple choices that advocates on both sides of the "choice" debate want you to think they are. Although we can debate which choices should be legal, what is certain is this: women need the freedom to make choices and the knowledge and support that will allow them to make the choices that are right for them.
… (meer)
 
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eri_kars | 3 andere besprekingen | Jul 10, 2022 |
I lovehate short story collections, because once you really get invested in one, it comes to a close quicker than you would like. A really good short story collection for me has to have stories that leave you wanting more yet also leave you a little sad after the final sentence. ⁣
The stories in this collection were a mix of bittersweet nostalgia, ruminations on one’s faith and daily life, and a dystopian arc that I’m still not fully over and wish would become a novel, because I crave more of the story and characters. ⁣
Each story had a unique ending, and you could tell that the author took time with her characters and cared about each one
… (meer)
 
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brookiexlicious | 5 andere besprekingen | May 10, 2021 |
I love the way Bender leads you calmly down a well-worn path with a flashlight, shines a light on the small, simple everyday then grabs your wrist while she takes you for a unexpected twist. Her stunning and subtle prose makes you curious; every story somehow slowly and thoughtfully blooms before you as though you have uncovered a gem as it first catches the light.
 
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ShannonRose4 | 5 andere besprekingen | Sep 15, 2020 |

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Statistieken

Werken
7
Ook door
10
Leden
354
Populariteit
#67,648
Waardering
½ 3.6
Besprekingen
18
ISBNs
31

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