Jackie Kai Ellis

*I received a copy of this book via Goodreads Giveaways*

The title of the copy I received is slightly different, and very fittingly "The Measure of My Powers: A Memoir of Food, Misery, and Paris."

Throughout the memoir, the author seems absolutely miserable, most of the time. This is told through a series of vignettes that jump forward and backward in time. The jumps were not too unsettling, but I feel that as a whole it would be more powerful if this were in a more sequential order.

As a child, she's told she's useless and stupid. Not the greatest foundation, which leads her to being very insecure. She jumps around in her choices of schools, career paths and seems quite unsure of herself in general.

The parts of the memoir that deal with her marriage were probably the most difficult for me to read, just because she painted it so bleakly. There's no real explanation of why they're together in the first place, only that he seemed to "get her" so they got married. They fought on their honeymoon, which instantly spelled trouble to me. And he seemed to be a major control freak, not wanting to buy furniture or art for their home, giving her a monthly "allowance" and discouraging her from things that clearly brought her joy, like baking and cooking. So the "Heartbreak" portion is a little hard for me to swallow. Throughout her time in Paris the author painted the picture that her husband didn't even want to be there and I just felt bad that she seemed to be not wasting, but having to be restricted in experiencing what was a once in a lifetime opportunity of being able to live in Paris.

The author also discusses a struggle with depression, which I could certainly relate to. I went through a period of deep depression when I moved to BC, and know all t0o well what a gnarly beast that can be. And yet, this too felt too formal, for me to relate on a more emotional level. There didn't seem to be any feeling to the memoir, not a relatable voice that I could empathize with, just a methodical acknowledgement of facts.

Another element that bothered me was that each chapter began with various quotes at the top from chefs, philosophers, and others. These are why I chose the label of "trying too hard" because that's exactly what these quotes give the idea of. They are completely uneccessary. The black and white pictures in my copy also gave the element of trying to be chic, but weren't.

I did really enjoy the author's passion for food. The descriptions of her enjoyment and love for creating dishes really comes through well. And her adventure for trying new dishes is something I wish I could learn to do.

I would have liked an even more in depth section on her time at pastry school in Paris, since that's where she seemed to enjoy herself the most.

There are also a few things toward the end of the book that just seem unbelievable to me. Probably because they're told in the same methodical manner as other elements of the memoir, without feeling connected. I won't say exactly what because I don't want to ruin it, but lets just say i had a "what the fuck?" moment when reading these particular scenes.

Overall, this just felt more miserable than powerful.

… (meer)

Jackie Kai Ellis was the founder of the Beaucoup Bakery in Vancouver and this memoir is essentially her memoir on how she got there through a lifelong love of cooking. After being an art student, she became a successful designer, but was suffering from depression and in a cold, failing marriage. She and her husband took a year sabbatical during which they spend 6 months travelling, mainly in France. In Paris, Jackie attends pastry school. Back home in Vancouver, her marriage ends and she starts the successful Beaucoup Bakery. This is a memoir about a woman overcoming her fears and find the courage to become who she is meant to be. I certainly related on several levels. I felt that the layout of the book is quite unique as at the end of each chapter there is a receipe, along with colour photographs, relevant to each chapter.… (meer)