Stephen Giles (2)

You're the Daddy is the brief highlights of the first year and a bit of fatherhood for Stephen Giles. OK I've never heard of him and why his story matters is not entirely clear but there is one central purpose to this book - it lets new fathers know that what they are experiencing is something others are going through as well. What this book does not provide is much in the way of specific advice or expertise. It is hard to learn from other people's mistakes but Giles uses a range of anecdotes to flag up some of the obvious that we always seem to think about a bit too late.

Giles has deliberately attempted a much more light hearted style than is typically the case with the more high brow academia of childcare manuals. At times he is funny and that is a good thing because it is easy to lose a sense of humour when the lack of sleep kicks in. His journey is not particularly remarkable but that is why this book has some use. There are a few occasions when the frustrations of parenting a new baby seem all-consuming and we all know that us men don't want to ask for help so just reading that Giles experienced it as well and that it wasn't so bad in the end anyway is a positive.

Unfortunately for Giles, his own story is not universal enough for this to be a highly rated depiction. Giles doesn't have a real job and for some months he is the primary carer. For those few men in this situation it will undoubtedly be heartening to find others in the same position. For the majority of us who are not, this is a missed opportunity. Many of the issues of fatherhood seem to be more in the relationship with the mother than with the child. Raising the baby isn't that difficult as there are only a limited number of problems and ways to resolve them - that those solutions don't always work doesn't mean it is any more complex it is just frustrating. Managing the relationship with the mother is much more complex and here Giles has failed because his tale is too far off the normal pattern for it to be a realistic comparison. There is at least some useful insight from what appears to be anecdotal research about the physical elements of relationships post-birth but in the main Giles is more often in the role of mother than of father.

It is worth reading this if you have little else to do while being kept up in the middle of the night. Personally, I'd rather watch sports and I imagine that most of the audience Giles thinks he is writing for feel even more strongly about that option but as a book to pick up and browse briefly without having to take in too much detail it is a reasonable distraction and it is positive to read an example of the cliched phrase that the fatherhood experience is not without precedent.… (meer)