Simon Griffin

After the demonstrably successful Fucking Apostrophes in 2016, Simon Griffin is back with Fucking Good Manners. December is the perfect time of year for a laugh. Everyone is busy, it's hot and hectic and there's quite a bit of argy bargy when it comes to Christmas shopping and being considerate of others. Griffin acknowledges that we can ALL do better when it comes to our manners and sets out to demonstrate.

Chapter headings like public transport, driving, public toilets, queuing, the workplace and social media give the reader an accurate picture of what will follow.

Griffin quickly identifies many of our pet hates when it comes to dealing with others (family, friends, workmates and strangers) and in doing so, inspires us to do better. The author uses his sense of humour to shed light on every day issues and just like Fucking Apostrophes, he frequently makes me laugh in doing so.

In fact, I was reading this book in a hospital waiting room and cracked up when I got to this part:
"The business world is full of ugly acronyms, obscure abbreviations and bullshitty jargon, generally designed to make people feel more intelligent than they are. It started with thinking outside the box, putting ducks in rows and hitting the ground running, but each workplace has its own unique set of bullshit buzzwords. Forget about running things up the flagpole and touching base and getting the ball rolling and peeling back the fucking onion. Stop wasting people's time with this gibberish and start using some plain fucking English." Pages 135 & 136

It was the classic cliche of laughing while reading in a public space, but this really did happen! A few old people were sitting across from me and were glowering but too bad, their loss.

However, the best part of the book came at the end while reading the Acknowledgements when I recognised my name mentioned in the thanks section. This immediately elevated this to a 5 star reading experience, but I need to stay true to the rating I'd already settled on in my mind before I lost my shit seeing my name printed in another book.

Fucking Good Manners by Simon Griffin is a funny book with instant appeal for readers of all ages. It does contain the 'f' word on every page though, so use your discretion. Highly recommended.

* Copy courtesy of Allen & Unwin *… (meer)

Best for:
People who enjoy a bit of humor with their how-to books.

In a nutshell:
Author Griffin would like you to get some fucking manners.

Worth quoting:
‘As soon as we assume our needs are more important than someone else’s, then everything descends into utter fucking chaos.’

Why I chose it:
I love etiquette books. I use a lot of profanity. Seemed like a natural fit.

Review:
This is a quick read and a mostly pleasant little book. I get the gimmick — there will be swearing! — but it seems that the author forces the work ‘fucking’ into way too many sentences. Not in an offensive way; it just doesn’t flow naturally in a lot of places.

That aside, how’s the advice? Honestly, it’s pretty basic. Not horrible. But the book only gets three stars from me because of the slight undercurrent of ‘both sides are bad’ that runs throughout. Like, this isn’t a particularly political book, but sometimes when the author gives examples of bad behavior, it feels like he’s comparing things that maybe aren’t comparable. Like, in the introduction he talks about ‘hearing both sides’ and how there’s always another side, and I can’t tell if he’s serious that this applies to all the things. Because if that’s the case? Does he recognize that some of those sides are super bad and wrong?

I thought it was maybe just a slight mismatch in tone, but then one of the quotes he uses, at the start of the chapter on manners IN THE WORKPLACE, is from Clarence fucking Thomas. You know, the guy who harassed Anita Hill and ‘found’ a public hair on a coke can that he asked her to come look at? That’s the guy we’re quoting in a book on manners? Come the fuck on, dude.

So yeah, the book isn’t awful, and were it not for the above bits I’d think it’s fine as a cute Christmas or birthday gift, but in the end I can’t recommend it.

Keep it / Pass to a Friend / Donate it / Toss it:
Toss it.… (meer)

O little book, you have amused me.

This short little book covers apostrophe usage with little asides like:
“See that fence over there? Take a nice comfy seat on it with me and watch them fight it out. The important thing is to know the meaning of each one, and remember, it’s just a fucking apostrophe.”

I should mention that this book covers current British usage, so North Americans may argue with some of it, but I’ve been noticing that NA has been following the British trends in apostrophe usage more and more anyway, so it may just be a matter of time. Also, although Griffin acknowledges the changing usages over time, he doesn’t really cover the evolution. It’s a really short book. I don’t regret getting it though.

Perfect for grammar geeks and those who appreciate a good swear. Some sections are best read out loud to unsuspecting people.… (meer)

The Assistant Principle I share an office with showed me this book for its audacious title, and when I saw it at the bookshop, of course I had to buy it; both for its audacity and its content since I have become a grammar nerd.

Can I just tell you, it's a great little book! Only about 50 pages or so, Griffin keeps things very concise and very easy to reference. He keeps it simple: each chapter is an instance where apostrophes are used (omission, possession, etc.) and he shows examples of each in context, as well as examples and 'translations' of what wrong usage looks like. If apostrophe usage is a grey area, he offers a short explanation of why.

At the end, "in case you couldn't be bothered to read the last 50 pages" he includes a short reference listing the examples of what apostrophe to use and when, with more examples. Those examples, by the way, make learning the grammar fun. A couple of examples:

The men's team swapped samples.

Walter's teachers manual said nothing about cooking meth.

My only complaint is that he does abuse the humour of the title itself: after awhile the phrase "fucking apostrophe", used for every instance of apostrophe in a book about them, becomes a little tired and loses its humorous impact. Humor aside, this is going to be a handy little reference book for those times we're stumped on whether or not something calls for an apostrophe.… (meer)