Kay S. Hymowitz

The cover grabbed my attention. It was brilliant. Bracing for a vicious attack on males, I charged ahead any way.

The book doesn't really rip on men. The author bases a lot of the book an anecdotal data frequently citing book titles (not the book itself) and popular culture. It's not like "Child-man" is one of the categories in the US Census. Or if there really is a way to measure maturity.

It made me wonder ... what really makes a man? As my male friend said, sometimes I like to "stab things in the face" (in a computer game) and I do miss days where my most important task of the day was waking up in time to watch my favorite cartoon.

Perhaps, in this modern world where my generation doesn't need to grow up, we never do. I'm speaking of both men and women here. We don't have to forage or hunt. We don't have to gather wood for the fireplace. We don't have to learn to change our tires (thanks AAA) or really **do** laundry ... as opposed to just separating our clothes and dumping them into machine.

Life is funny that way. The easier we make our lives, the easier we waste our lives.




… (meer)

I hesitate to give this five stars because I feel that, unless you are highly engrossed in the topic, the book would seem fairly dry. Cue Nat King Cole... Also, I felt her Feminism chapter lacked some comments that would have enhanced its value-- See [b:Homeward Bound: Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity|15803153|Homeward Bound Why Women are Embracing the New Domesticity|Emily Matchar|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1364805521s/15803153.jpg|21526281]. But, at the same time, I especially felt like the last chapter of the book did research that Leavitt and his friends ignored in [b:Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything|1202|Freakonomics A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (Freakonomics, #1)|Steven D. Levitt|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1327909092s/1202.jpg|5397].

The title also bothers me. I don't like to think that there are castes in America. For obvious reasons. But this book and this year's experience have taught me differently. However, I also find her commentary on the American economy in her Feminism and concluding chapter to be most enlightening on that subject as well.

And now, let me address 3 conclusions you might jump to if you judge this book by its cover.

1: This book is religious.
Religious this is not. Hymowitz clearly stipulates in the beginning that she is not religious. And that, apart from a couple of mentions of religious culture being a "cause" of marital expectations in history, was basically that. No- this is not a religious commentary. But that didn't keep me from projecting my personal religious beliefs on her thoughts.

2. This book doesn't provide any new information.
Maybe-- but that depends on the studies you've read. I would say that this book provides a view of the benefits of families from the children's point of view. Too many studies, and the "why" behind this is addressed as well, only focus on the couple-- leaving the children completely out of the situation. But this reverses the trend. I would have liked her to write about the abuse problem a little bit more. But then this is me with the #MeToo movement still making headlines.

3: ONLY READ THIS PARAGRAPH IF YOU KNOW ME
This book blames race/is racist.
Again, I would say no. If anything, this book points to culture as it was in 1850-60 America as a large obstacle in surmounting poverty today. To be sure, Hymowitz looks specifically at inner city families, the uneven numbers that fill our jails, etc. But she also spends time looking at immigrants and their struggles. Her focus is poverty, the inequality that it brings, and its elimination.* If I've interpreted the topic incorrectly, let me know (because I honestly didn't mean to offend or misread).

*I read an article the other day about inter-generational PTSD that also seemed to tie in.… (meer)

I first heard about this book on NPR, and, having spent enough time around my boyfriend’s roommates, was immediately interested in hearing theories about the reasons why so many young men are extending their adolescence into their twenties and thirties.

Hymowitz begins with the luxury that most young Americans have in exploring their options prior to and after graduating from college, comparing it to previous generations’ expectation of childhood, adolescence, school, a job, marriage, and children. Using the term “preadulthood” to describe the period of transitioning from the teen years and college into full-fledged, salary earning, home-owning, semi-stable adulthood, the author considers the role of education, the economy, and new trends in the workplace as they have contributed to this: “What should I do with my life? It’s not just a good question; it’s a hard question. The preadult is stunned with possibility, a predicament unknown to most of the human race up until very recently” (35). The reader may be understandably confused as the next chapters focus on the history of women’s roles in the western world, focusing on American women and their move from the kitchen and home to the workplace. Later chapters address the metamorphosis of the man into the guy, including the deconstruction of mature manhood, women’s independence from men as breadwinners, and the emergence of the child-man who spends his time playing games and maintaining his adolescent attitude.

Overall, the book is not so much an analysis of the current trends in masculine gender role, but rather a look at current trends in young adulthood for both men and women. The scenarios that the author presented in the last chapter as examples of what is happening in the lives of young men and women are a little sad, but realistic, and include the neo-traditional, the Darwinian playboy, the single-and-loving-it woman, the choice mother, and the starter marriage, each of which reflects different trends in the American family culture. Hymowitz provides a lengthy bibliography which cites plenty of additional reading sources. This is a good overview of how we got to today’s gender roles, but deceptively titled.… (meer)