Paula Kamen

Iris Chang became famous with The Rape of Nanking, and was researching a book about the Bataan Death March when she committed suicide at age 36. The suicide was planned in advance, and involved purchase of a gun and delivery of documents and photographs to libraries for posterity. Among the people she tried to contact by phone in the days preceding her death was Paula Kamen, who had been a friend since college. Unfortunately, a conversation with Iris was invariably intense and long, so Paula was not the only one who let the outreach go to voice mail, waiting for sufficient time. Iris Chang appeared to have it all: successful career, happy marriage, recent baby; she was immersed in harrowing subjects, but she had already been through one round, and emerged resilient and engaged in the political ramifications. So what happened? This book is Paula Kamen’s effort to piece together a complex person and the steps leading to suicide. It is arranged as a series of questions, an homage Iris and a reflection of the universal reaction to her suicide: what was going on behind the surface of competence and perfection? In a journalistic sense it covers the relevant information, collected from public sources, old letters, interviews with colleagues and friends and family (not, however, Iris Chang’s mother, who was also writing a book), evaluated with a filter of personal relationship (oh _that’s_ what it meant, oh _that’s_ what was going on). In an emotional sense, it can get a tad clinical, perhaps an intentional distancing for objectivity or protection or respect. Definitely recommended, but I want to read the book by Ying-Ying Chang for comparison.… (meer)

Paula Kamen is shocked when Iris Chang commits suicide. Everyone thought she had the perfect life, but, like Chang, she didn't just stew in her grief. She researched everything about Chang in an attempt to find out what happened. She delves into Japanese atrocities compared with Nazi atrocities, bipolar disorder, infertility, the effect of fluctuating hormones on mood disorders, rates of Chinese depression and suicide, asperger's syndrome, friendship and ambition. There are revelations after revelations right up to the end.… (meer)

I read this because I am myself a sufferer of chronic daily headache -- since last October -- and like Paula Kamen I'm going through the whole cycle of trying different stuff that doesn't work, or works only for awhile, or removes the pain but turns me into a zombie, etc. I feel I learned a lot from this book -- among other things, I'm going to stop taking Neurontin now, and I'm going to try some of the non-medical remedies that provided some relief for Kamen. I'm still pretty skeptical of alternative medicine and all those special diets and herbs and stuff, though.

I feel lucky compared to her. I haven't had this headache for twenty years (yet). And I haven't (yet) encountered too many arrogant and narcissistic doctors Kamen has, who won't listen to the patient and try to make it sound like they're not really sick and am just whining and being a drama queen. I think this may be because people know more about headaches than they did in the early nineties when Kamen first got hers. Or maybe I'm just lucky.

I would recommend this book to any chronic pain sufferer, especially those with chronic headaches. Although it's hardly a success story -- Kamen's still in a lot of pain, after all -- it's not a downer. It's very educational and some parts are outright laugh-out-loud funny.… (meer)