Gillian Neimark

Before you have kids, you can daydream about how awesome your potential kids could be. I don’t have any kids so I can confidently tell you that my future kids will be the baddest badasses that ever were…that is, until I actually have them and they spend their time being obsessed with Justin Bieber’s successor or watching (upchuck) Two and a Half Men or something equally disgusting. I’ll name them all Flannery like George Foreman named all his kids George regardless of whether they are boys or girls and I will make sure they can identify Paul Simon’s entire catalog (a masterpiece) within the first 15 seconds of hearing it. What? That’s weird? Obviously this is why I’m single—I don’t think there are a lot of guys out there that want to start a mutant race of Paul Simon fanatics. I have a point here (or do I?) and that is that math is important. Why shouldn’t that be where my nonsensical ramblings are leading? I wish more kids were into math. I was so pumped to read this book before I started because it sounded like a [a:Douglas Adams|4|Douglas Adams|http://photo.goodreads.com/authors/1189120061p2/4.jpg]-type whackadoo adventure that taught kids about the importance of math. I guess it sort of still was…it just came off as a little lackluster.

Flor Bernoulli lives in New York City with her single mother. Her neighborhood has a few oddballs including Mrs. Plump, who was once plump but is no longer and who runs a restaurant that serves only tea and toast to devoted ladies intent on weight loss, and Dr. Pi, who wows oodles of customers with his so-called Sky High Pies made from his secret recipe. One day, while visiting the pie shop, Dr. Pi shows Flor a nautilus shell in which a person can peer around the curve of time and see images from the future. In it, Dr. Pi sees two men eating dinner at Flor’s house and Flor meets a girl her age. (Who says she will see Flor again but who never shows up again in the story. Turns out there is a sequel—who knew? Not me until I looked it up.) Dr. Pi also tells her he is the guardian of the secret spiral, to which the Bernoulli family has a special connection. After Dr. Pi thinks someone is after him and the spiral, he gives Flor a special hat that aids her in her travels and several people join her on a journey all over the place. Seriously, all over the place.

The story was interesting but the writing lacked fluidity and it just felt choppily put together. I know children’s and middle grade books cannot be filled with descriptive prose but for heaven’s sake, don’t take it ALL out. This was just action, action, action, and no explanation of why things were the way they were or how anything was happening. Take [a:Madeleine L’Engle] for instance—she masterfully told a tale of time and dimensional travel and explained everything well, whilst still describing everything in a way that I still remember over a decade after reading it. Here, I came away with an image of the protagonist wearing funny yet stylish outfits and vague images of the supporting cast. I also thought that a sense of fun was outweighing the importance of actually dealing with serious issues when they arose—namely meeting an absentee father (which was glossed over in a few pages) and allowing strangers into your house, telling them everything about everything, going off with them, and leaving your mom behind with no word of where you are going. I guess I forgave the kids in [b:From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler|3980|From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs Basil E. Frankweiler|E.L. Konigsburg|http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/512R2HA4RRL._SL75_.jpg|1384549] for disappearing with no word to their parents…only I think they notified their parents they were okay, didn’t they?

I still think this book is somewhere around 2.5 stars for me. [a:Gillian Neimark|4543692|Gillian Neimark|http://www.goodreads.com/images/nophoto/nophoto-U-50x66.jpg] weaves an interesting story with underlying mathematical concepts that will subversively teach children about the importance of math in the world around us. I learned some fun facts about spirals in nature! (which I’m not going to spoiler—go read the encyclopedia! Or Wikipedia!) Also, I learned who the heck Bernoulli was, after awkwardly asking my sister if she “knew anything about math.”(She informed that her chemical engineering degree, her MD, and her PhD probably qualified her as “knowing something about math.” Jerk.) Incidentally, we were having breakfast in an oldey-timey reproduction town in Washington and if you are still reading this review, you probably read my other ones and know how much I loooove reproduction towns and reenactors. (Sadly, there were no reenactors in this Wild West-type deal) so I was already in a happy mood. I was happy to read this story but I’m also fairly confident that my memories of it will fade rather quickly.

Thanks to S & S Galley Grab for teaching me a thing or two about math! And making me want some pie!
… (meer)

Flor is having an exceptionally odd day. While buying a pie for her mother like she does every day, Dr. Pi tells her to get two since she will be having guests at dinner. He also scolds her for not paying attention during math earlier that day. But how could Dr. Pi know what would happen in the future or what she was doing in school while he was making his fantastic pies? Flor soon becomes immersed in a whole new world of magic when Dr. Pi confides that someone is desperate to steal his formula and needs a favor only she can fulfill.

I don't enjoy writing an unfavorable review for The Secret Spiral. I wanted to enjoy it so much but the book and I just never meshed. Part of the problem, I believe, is that I am older than the target audience (elementary school kids). The rhyming and word play is probably something that will keep kids entertained and interested but all it did was grate on my nerves. There was so much of it that at time I was confused and lost. The storyline was cute but I don't think it will appeal to a very broad age group. I think even middle-grade children will find it to not be their thing.

I love it when media gets kids excited about learning or other things they should be doing. For example Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign is brilliant, love it and love her. The Secret Spiral shanghaied me with math. I will admit that it was pathetic of me not to pick up on it when reading the summery what with names like Dr. Pi and Flor Bernoulli but kids aren't going to pick that up either. In a time when reading and literacy are struggling movements, I found it difficult to read a book also pushing math. Math, that I have to say, I never learned in school.

So at this point in the book I was a little frustrated but still enjoying the magic and some silliness. And then we met Flor's father. I absolutely had to force myself to continue reading after this point, which was difficult because I didn't connect with any of the characters so nothing that happened to them was something I cared about. Anyway, I did however loathe the father who couldn't be bothered to be a part of any of his daughter's life simply because he missed France and never contacted her even once because he assumed she never thought of him. Is he a complete idiot?! Then Flor is forced to witness his now perfect life. I honestly wanted a meteor to take out all of them and couldn't understand how Flor was accepting it. Maybe it was an overreaction on my part but absentee 'parenting' is a huge pet peeve of mine and I felt the characters were saying it was okay.

Oh, the ending is a ginormous cliffhanger too.

See my blog for quotes and my thoughts as I read: http://www.bittenbooks.com/2011/05/review-secret-spiral-by-gillian-neimark.html… (meer)