Maria Isabel Pita

This is in the top three of worst books I have ever read.

Perhaps someone could let Pita know that memoir means she actually has to recall what happens. More than a dozen times she states a variation of, "I don't remember exactly what he said to me." (page 56). Nor can she recall even in a vague way. She will also state how amazingly brilliant and insightful the main male character is, yet she can never recall, either exactly or vaguely, what he said; he will say such profound things that Pita will change her entire worldview, yet she can't remember exactly what he said. This becomes unintentionally humorous.

The author spends a painful amount of time assuring the reader of Pita's great beauty. It is far, far superior to anyone else, anywhere, at any time. Give Pita a woman, and she will find something, usually several somethings, to be critical of. I'm sure in Pita's mind, Angelina Jolie's lips are too large, Eliza Dushku's body is too hourglass, and Susan Sarandon is too old. To add to this, whenever Pita needs mollifying, all the main character has to do is tell her how beautiful she is, and she forgets why she was upset.

Every man is a pale, pale comparison to Pita's "Master", named Stinger. Much discussion is focused on other men's penis size (or lack thereof), their lack of "dominance", and their lack of overall "attractive" physique, all with a huge dose of how turned on and attracted these men are to Pita.

Ostensibly, this book is about BDSM. If your flavor of BDSM means that the Dominant person is served and all of his/her needs are always met, and the submissive person has absolutely NO needs, exists to be hit after expressing an opinion, and serves as a literal sexual outlet for the Dominant, then this book is definitely for you.

The book itemizes in excruciating, mind numbing, navel-gazing detail Pita's jealousy of the fact that her "Master" enjoys having sex with other women, all while in her presence. He calls this swinging. We are expected to believe that while Stinger is performing oral sex on a woman (who is sitting on his face) that he can somehow, miraculously see that another man is about to have sex with Pita against her will and Stinger heroically shoves the man off Pita, all while continuing to perform oral sex. Stinger is amazing, isn't he?

Also, when these two are "swinging", everything automatically stops whenever Pita leaves the room, as she is the center of the universe. All men's penises lack in comparison to Stinger's, all women's beauty lack in comparison to Pita, every man and woman want to have sex with Pita because of her great beauty and sensuality, so why wouldn't all action stop when she leaves the room? If that last part leaves you going, "Hunh?!?", now you know what to expect if you should ever attempt to read this drivel.

This book is a fine example of why librarything needs a negative star system as well.… (meer)