Juno Roche

Fwiw - I am a non-binary queer person (gray asexual / pansexual / polyamorous). I feel like I am part of the direct target audience of this book, and I loved it.

This is not a guide in the sense of it being an inaccessible scientific guide that would remember to give dry tips to some of the community and forget that say, asexuals existed, or polyamorous people existed, or the unconventional existed.

This is a guide in the sense of getting 'the talk' that every queer teen (or adult) should be able to get from a mix of people from different walks of life, with different generational experiences, different perceptions. From confident to locked in. From traumatised to healthy. Across the transgender spectrum, gently prodding at what it means to be transgender generationally, the different issues affecting different people, and how those issues may impact - or grow - our sexuality - or lack thereof.

I have to say, as someone who is gray asexual, seeing Margo (I believe) self-refer as being possibly gray asexual was really meaningful to me. That's a term that's been around for years now, and while I felt the author wasn't directly familiar, having her place the term in (she transcribes the interviews faithfully, which I enjoyed) gave me an extra buzz of resonance.

There were moments where I thought 'oh we don't use those terms anymore' or moments where I cringed a little, in the sense that, there are things about my lived experience I take for granted and forget that they are entirely alien to others, even within the LGBTQIA community. I actually enjoyed those moments, they felt very real, and I think they highlight that there are some significant generational differences now between how people express themselves, and that it's important to not throw out the invaluable experiences of those older than us, just because they are not say, hip to Tumblr linguistics (and why should they be).

For the most part though, what this book gave me was firstly the sense that I'm not alone. Not alone in not knowing how to identify personally with parts of my body, or being unsure of what questions to ask, or holding onto romanticised notions that didn't fit one day. That I'm not alone in finding my personal experience of gender confusing, and embracing that anyway, and enjoying it for what it is. I wish I had heard so many of these stories earlier, the happy blissful ones, the confused ones, the challenging ones.

I truly feel this book is a guide, in the sense that a loving family member or friend sitting you down to explain how life might *actually* work out for you if you're trans/NB regarding sex, is guiding you. Except not only do you get the benefit of the poetic insight of the author, but you also get the insight of many other (often very significant) people in the trans/NB community. Some in relationships, some not.

Read it in a single night, and will be something I recommend to others.… (meer)

In Gender Explorers, Juno Roche interviews trans amd gender nonconforming children and teens, as well as some of their parents and carers. The interviews take place at trans youth groups run by Mermaids and Gendered Intelligence, and cover a range of different ages and gender identities. The interviews are left in interview form, rather than being rewritten into prose, with all identifying information removed.

I really liked this book. Roche talks to the kids on their level, and lets them talk about their identities and journeys in their own words. The thing that stuck out the most for me was that these children just want to be happy. They talk about making their own rules, rather than following societies gender norms, and when asked what being trans feels like, what it's like going to school as their gender rather than what was assigned to them, they say that it feels normal, that it feels right. This book really highlights that having the freedom to explore your gender, whether that means breaking gender norms, socially transitioning, or even, in the case of older children and teenagers, beginning a physical transition, lets people live truthfully and free, and helps them to avoid the secrecy and depression that often comes with coming out as trans later in life. Hearing from supportive parents and caregivers about how they looked after their children really brought tears to my eyes. We also get to read the author's personal story, which is utterly heartbreaking. Children deserve so much better than having their gender identity and expression forced out of themselves, leaving them to live a life of shame and sadness.

This book comes from an incredibly important perspective; the trans and gender nonconforming children themselves, and the people closest to them. Again and again, parents talked about how their children had become visibly happier and more confident when allowed to live truthfully, doing better both at home and in school. The most important message this book gives is that we need to listen to trans and gender nonconforming children when they speak to us. We need to trust that they know themselves better than anyone else, and we need to believe them when they tell us their truth. And we need to be ok with experimentation. If a child is free to be whoever they are, and has the freedom to explore their identity, they will make the right decisions for themselves. This book also gives a perspective that the media often ignores in favour of sensationalism. There are real children behind all of the politics and policies and fighting. There are real children who are being hurt, because our media would rather a sensationalist headline.

I encourage you to read this book, whoever you are. Reading these children's stories might help parents and teachers to put aside their prejudices and show love first, and support the trans kids in their lives.… (meer)

Thank you to NetGally and the publisher for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.

Gender Explorers is a collection of interviews that the author did with trans* kids and young adults, and some of their parents at trans youth groups (Mermaids and Gendered Intelligence). It also includes an introduction and an afterword where the author talks about their own experience as a trans* person.

I was very moved by this book and teared up several times while reading. Both the kids and their parents talk openly and in a vulnerable way about their experiences. The interviewees include kids from the age of 5 to young adults in their early twenties.

What hit me hard was how happy and fluid many of the children's experience had been. Though many also talked about the bullying and external challenges they faced in coming out, there were so many who felt their school and their parents and their friends had been supportive from the start. It's wonderful to hear this since it indicates that the world is changing. A few times the author noted how they felt both happy and proud of these children but also a bit jealous. I thought these emotions were well-explored. Generally, the author seemed very kind and patient in the interviews and interviewed the children at their own pace.

They want their present, their now, to be positive and happy rather than having to close their eyes and dream about a future in which they might get to run away and become themselves. As I did. Dreaming for years about being the me that no one could see.
(page 18 (in arc))

I'm not trans* which means I'll never fully know how the experience of questioning your gender identity is. But to be able to support trans* people, the most important actions to take (imo) is to educate yourself, and boost and listen to others' experiences. I think this book is a wonderful resource in listening and understanding the trans* experience in our modern society. Because times are changing, and queer identities are getting more and more needed recognition. Though there are still TERFs out there I think a big takeaway from this book is hope. Hope for the future.

(this happiness and hope is of course also a result of the interviews taking place where they do. I think it's right to assume that most people who seek out these groups are people with support and confidence in their identities.)

I was amazed to read such young people's understanding of themselves and how much their lives changed when they were allowed to be themselves. It was also extremely emotional to read the parents' interviews, where they expressed their fears, the way they handled their young children coming out (mostly well, but some people had regrets), and how they sought support and educated themselves.

Overall, this is a very powerful book that I think everyone should read.

What's it like when people ask you questions all the time?

Trans teen: It feels really invalidating. [...] I'm not sure it's really their fault, but it's embarrassing and invalidating even if they feel like they are validating me. It feels like I'm constantly having to prove and convince people that I'm valid and that I am who I am.
(page 163 (in arc))… (meer)

I am a Cisgender white woman... I just need to put that out there before I try and "review" this book.

Really, what I want to say about this book is that I learned a lot while reading it. I learned that I need to listen to people who are living a life that I'm not and be willing to hear what they are saying. I learned that being Trans isn't just about gender or one's body. Trans can be about HIV, race, racism, gender, bigotry, intimacy, sexuality, surgery, suicide, religions and truth.

One of the topics that came up repeatedly in the book is about defining what "Trans" is... in terms of whether it's a noun or a verb... is it a destination? Is it a state? Is it fluid or static? Does the process begin or end, or is it even a process to begin with?

"...Trans isn't something that we exit from, it can be something that we arrive into." - Travis Power

The people interviewed in his book are remarkable and every one of them has something unique and important to share. I think that Juno Roche has done a great job of choosing people who are inspiring and candid. There are performers, teachers, authors and more.

I can see that this book would be a big help to anyone who is struggling with their gender identity or the way in which they fit into the world.… (meer)