Humor from Both Sides of the Aisle (3)

Flashbacks in Hell

A Country Divided

From The New Republic

There Is No Constitutional Right to Eat Dinner

Claims that Justice Brett Kavanaugh had his rights violated by protesters outside a D.C. restaurant fail on originalist grounds.

https://newrepublic.com/article/167019/kavanaugh-mortons-constitutional-right-di...

Gregg Kilday
@gkilday

From now on, if political reporters ask Josh Hawley if he’s planning to run, he’s going to have to ask them to clarify.

Brittlestar @brittlestar | 3:02 PM · Aug 9, 2022

FRONT DESK CLERK AT MAR-A-LAGO DURING THE RAID (0:51)
https://twitter.com/brittlestar/status/1557079787235168256?cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjcw...

(Nametag reads Newhart Brittleman.)

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
https://youtube.com/watch?v=qvneygfQ4iw (~2 mins)

"That's right; he's going to be taken down by the librarians!"

>6 aspirit: Ha! I thought of posting that too!

Kindergarten teacher talking to Trump after FBI raid (1:03) :D
https://twitter.com/StaceyCKs1/status/1558928884900438017

>8 margd: That's excellent! I laughed a little too hard on her spot-on talk.

Here's a link directly to the creator.
https://twitter.com/ms_frazzled/status/1558995309887254528

MeidasTouch | 4:52 PM · Aug 14, 2022

"The documents don’t exist but actually they were planted but actually I declassified them but actually you need to give them back to me by the power vested in my social media app which is also under criminal investigation."

https://twitter.com/MeidasTouch/status/1558919628004372481

This really how five-year-old children explain a situation they know can get them in trouble.

https://www.rawstory.com/george-conway-trump-2657869514/
'The cookies are PERFECT!' George Conway lampoons Trump's shifting excuses in satirical essay

Kellyanne's husband ~ essay in the Washington Post

"You’re looking for cookies? There are no cookies here," Conway wrote. "I don’t have any cookies. I don’t even like cookies. Won’t eat them. Never had one in my life. Never even seen one. Not once. Ever."

"I like steak and hamberders — I mean, hamburgers," he added. "For dessert, I have ice cream. Vanilla. Two scoops. Sometimes on pie. Definitely NOT cookies."

"What? You’re saying you have photos of me with cookies? That’s a Complete Lie," Conway wrote. "Your pictures are FAKE — just like you are. This is a Another Complete and Total Hoax."

"ALL FAKE NEWS," Conway added. "I am NOT Cookie Monster! YOU are Cookie Monster!!"

"It’s my cookie jar, so any cookies in the jar are mine. In fact, I had a Standing Order that any cookies in the jar automatically became mine when they went into the jar," he wrote. "The jar, and the cookies in them, are PERFECT."

This is high class punning, right here.



Source: https://twitter.com/AetherianDreams/status/1560722135907180544

https://www.mediaite.com/opinion/trump-a-florida-man-under-federal-investigation...
Trump, a Florida Man Under Federal Investigation, Endorses Gaetz, a Florida Man Under Federal Investigation

From the Borowitz Report

Lindsey Graham Warns That Biden’s Pro-Democracy Rhetoric Could Lead to Voting in the Streets.
Graham described a “doomsday scenario” in which voters are offered bottles of water in clear violation of the law.

My funeral will also receive a multi-gun salute. Fired into the coffin, just to make sure.

-- Darth Putin @DarthPutinKGB | 7:41 AM · Sep 19, 2022:
Czar for life of all Russia. Maker of exotic tea & underwear. It’s special military operation not invasion & is going to plan. For parody see @mfa_russia

>8 margd: contd. :D

Mrs. F @ms_frazzled | 4:05 PM · Sep 24, 2022:
We still can’t declassify documents with our brain. Sorry, friend. 😕

0:59 ( https://twitter.com/ms_frazzled/status/1573765696667852801 )

How Presidents Walk (1:24)

Credit: Stefan Leonhardsberger
Via: michaelschulteshow /IG

1:24 ( https://twitter.com/BettinaSRoss1/status/1584207031350665217 )

My daughters just clued me in to the “Dark Brandon” meme. Ha!

https://www.mediaite.com/news/brutal-trump-security-kept-people-from-walking-out...
BRUTAL! Trump Security Kept People From Walking Out of His ‘Low-Energy’ 2024 Campaign Launch

***
And Ivanka and her husband have decided their kids are more important to them than pleasing her aging, con man dad.

Will MAGAGA even fit properly on a baseball cap?

New York Post turns on Trump

https://news.yahoo.com/new-york-post-trump-florida-man-makes-announcement-162902...

A lot of acidic in that throwaway piece they bury on page 26 and referencing him as ‘Florida man’ and then as a ‘Florida retiree’ and ‘In a move no political pundit saw coming, avid golfer Donald J. Trump kicked things off at Mar-a-Lago, his resort and classified documents library’….and then ’ his favorite food is a charred steak with ketchup’.

FLASH: 17,565,000 VIEWERS WATCHED 'FBI' SHOWS ON CBS TUES NIGHT...

TRUMP SPEECH PULLS 8,714,000...

> 22

Did they mention tRUMP cheating at golf?

I'm not a golfer but it is my understanding that people who pick up their ball and throw it toward the hole and pick up their opponent's ball and throw it into the ruff (when they think no one is watching) are considered the biggest fucking assholes in the whole wide world.

Trump also drives his golf cart onto the greens--a big no-no. His greens, I guess...

Journalists Rush To Scene Of Shooting To Determine Whether It's Politically Useful!

In Huge Black Friday Sale, Store To Sell Everything For Price It Was Before Biden Became de facto President

:D

Oliver Willis @owillis | 11:37 AM · Dec 15, 2022:
Senior Writer @AmerIndependent

omg this is the promo video from trump's nft* card project, im dying. this clown. maybe now people will believe that im not making this up!!!!!!

1:55 ( https://twitter.com/owillis/status/1603429122516172802 )

* A non-fungible token is a unique digital identifier that cannot be copied, substituted, or subdivided, that is recorded in a blockchain, and that is used to certify authenticity and ownership. Wikipedia

>27 margd: contd.

(The Book of Trump)
https://twitter.com/VassalloChan/status/1603829402424741888/photo/1

>27 margd:
Matthew Sheffield (The Young Turks) @mattsheffield | 1:47 AM · Dec 16, 2022:

It appears that Donald Trump's NFT image of himself as a cowboy comes from an Amazon image that was slightly altered. https://amazon.com/Scully-Rangewear-Canvas-Natural-XX-Large/dp/B00847UT34

Photos:
https://twitter.com/mattsheffield/status/1603642894224543744/photo/1
https://twitter.com/mattsheffield/status/1603642894224543744/photo/2
https://twitter.com/mattsheffield/status/1603642894224543744/photo/3

The Shady Bunch:

https://twitter.com/LakotaMan1/status/1694459598101704829

Kevin M. Kruse
@KevinMKruse
REMEMBER: If you’re in line to get your mugshot taken, stay in line!!!

>30 2wonderY: Some are taking it a little more serious than others. In Georgia a RICO conviction is a minimum 5 years---you can apply for pardon after 5 years. You have to do at least that amount of time. The Governor can't step in to let you go. First you have to be approved by a state board and they're not going to even look at it until the prisoner has done his/her 5 and then applies for a pardon---only then does it go on to the governor with the board's recommendation of yes/no. It being a state charge a POTUS can't pardon you at all. Depending some of these people could be looking at 20 years or more. A mug shot is a mug shot but the charges and even the minimum time aren't a joke and I don't think Fani Willis is a joke either. She's done RICO cases before.

No one wants to be a rat but you also have to look at the character of the guy who led them into all this......who would throw every single one of them under the bus to save himself if he could and then start all over again with the next batch of suckers. My guess here though is if this trial's done before the election or even after (if he's not elected) the captain is going to go down with his entire crew. The only possibility any of them will be saved is by taking a deal. Juscil Tavaras in the Documents case is apparently doing that.

Don't Arraign on His Parade! (Song Parody 3:57)
Randy Rainbow | 22 Aug 2023
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=596N4aPnjrs

Pete Souza weighs in:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CwVqfJjuVha/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Not Jack Smith, the Special Prosecutor, but :D

Jack E. Smith ⚖️ @7Veritas4 | 7:58 AM · Sep 27, 2023:

Good morning.
To clarify the property value debate, Mar-a-Lago was worth a billion dollars when it had stolen classified documents.
Now it’s worth $18 million.
Hope this helps.
Have a pleasant day.

What’s the difference between the United States and an airplane?

The right wing of the airplane is not trying to crash it out of spite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cxn8VyqRGoC/?igshid=MWZjMTM2ODFkZg==

Upon hearing of the death of Senator Dianne Feinstein:

The top comment: Senator Feinstein's team have announced that regardless of her passing, it will not impact her job performance and she will not be stepping down.

GOP learns the hard way: Turning the base up too high blows out your Speaker

- Lee Drutman ⚙️🏛 @leedrutman | 5:21 PM · Oct 3, 2023
Political scientist/ Sr fellow @NewAmerica / Lecturer @JHUGovStudies

We’re less than a week in to @repdeanphillips campaign, and it’s clearly one of the best-run campaigns in America.

And by “best-run” I mean you take three-dozen coked-up rabid monkeys, coat them in motor oil, tape knives to their paws, and set them loose in a Cracker Barrel on a Sunday morning and it would still be more calm, effective and organized.

- Rick Wilson {Lincoln Project} @TheRickWilson | 10:25 AM · Nov 3, 2023

“Roe, Roe, Roe your vote” in Ohio.

https://thehill.com/regulation/court-battles/4292647-mark-meadows-sued-by-book-p...

Mark Meadows sued by book publisher over false election claims

The company is asking for the $350,000 it paid Meadows as an advance for the book, $600,000 in out-of-pocket damages, and at least $1 million each for reputational damage suffered by the company and loss of expected profits for the book, which they argue plummeted given Meadows’s involvement in numerous investigations regarding Jan. 6.

In a post on X, formerly Twitter, the San Antonio Express-News, the third-largest paper in Texas, shared an article detailing the Safeguarding Honest Speech Act bill.

“Sen. Rafael Edward Cruz, who uses the preferred name Ted, has introduced a bill to limit the use of preferred names and pronouns," the newspaper posted.

https://www.newsweek.com/ted-cruz-pronoun-bill-texas-newspaper-1848672

Putin releases his Xmas single (1:03)
https://twitter.com/Gerashchenko_en/status/1740711142043865371
📹: olly_101/Instagram

Trump has just been beaten! Good news for fans of Ronnie "The Rocket" O'Sullivan, but it was Judd Trump not Donald Trump, and it was in the 2024 snooker World Grand Prix, not the 2024 US election. Still, I suppose one can dream...

Maestro Ziikos - Trump sings

https://youtu.be/d_GZB4WO7Ko?t=25

A kindergarten teacher tries to bring Congress back on task:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4gKxu9R_h9/?igsh=NnQ5YXNkNHc0aHBx

Some recent Irish humour: When You're Asked About Israel and Palestine (Foil Arms and Hog on YouTube)

Reportedly, NYC cabbies are referring to Trump Tower as the "Tish Mahal". :D

YOU CAN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP ~

Bloomberg now states that Trump is one of the 500 richest people in the world, and his clueless cult voters keep adding funds to the GoFundMe site that a billionaire's wife set up for Trump!

https://www.mediaite.com/trump/trump-is-now-hawking-copies-of-the-bible-watch-hi...

Trump Is Now Hawking Copies of the Bible — Watch His Utterly Bonkers 3-Minute Sales Pitch

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4558230-cheney-trolls-trump-over-bible-sal...
Cheney trolls Trump over Bible sale, suggests he read verse on adultery

“Happy Holy Week, Donald. Instead of selling Bibles, you should probably buy one,” Cheney wrote in a post on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, in response to a screenshot of Trump’s Bible pitch on Truth Social.

“And read it, including Exodus 20:14,” Cheney added, referring to the verse that commands, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

>50 Molly3028: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

If I'm being honest, I think those days are over for Trump...

>47 margd:

What is a "Tish Mahal"? I've googled it but can't find anything.

>52 John5918: Sorry.

If Trump doesn't win his appeal for defrauding NY State (fiddling with values of properties to minimize taxes), and doesn't have cash, the state may need to seize some of his assets. https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/21/politics/trump-calls-ny-attorney-generals-bond-su...

Letitia "Tish" James is the 67th Attorney General for the state of New York. https://ag.ny.gov/about/meet-letitia-james

So-o, NYC cabbies have taken to calling Trump Tower, "Tish Mahal".

Joy Reid on MSNBC this evening ~

MAGA ~ Make Attorneys Get Attorneys

***
Will Jeffrey Clark and/or John Eastman be disbarred?

A California judge on Wednesday recommended disbarring a lawyer at the center of former President Trump’s efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election.

>53 margd:

Ah, thank you.

https://www.mediaite.com/trump/house-democrat-burns-trump-while-opposing-airport...
House Democrat Burns Trump While Opposing Airport Renaming: ‘If Republicans Want to Name Something After Him… Find a Federal Prison’

RFK Jr. Spreads Conspiracy Theory That His Mind is Being Controlled by Total Idiot
Andy Borowitz | Apr 10, 2024

Calling it the “most shocking conspiracy” he has ever unearthed, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. revealed on CNN last night that his mind is being controlled by a moron.

“I don’t know exactly how my brain is being operated remotely, by an electronic beam or microwaves or whatnot,” he told the network’s Erin Burnett. “But somehow, some way, there’s a total numbskull making me say the things I say.”...

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/rfk-jr-spreads-conspiracy-theory