I'm going to be one of the few who didn't like this book, mainly stemming from how this did not encompass the qualities of how I like my romance.

Now I know not every book has to have hearts and flowers or epic love, and I know that not every book has to be erotic or titillating - but I honestly could not quite wrap my head around, nor fully understand, the "grand love" depicted here, for it left me feeling mostly frustrated and sad.

This is mainly a murder mystery where two G-men, Special Agent Fletcher Ash and forensic pathologist Albert Sterne, try to catch an elusive serial killer over the course of several years. While they work together, their relationship evolves and grows more and more complex.

As a warning, there was nothing overt when it came to these two. Rather, it focused on the immense genius of Albert and the dogged determination of Fletcher, as they work case after case of various murdered victims. Fletcher is the only one who sees beyond the hard mask Albert presents to the world. It goes from admiration of Albert's skills, to a confounding friendship that slowly evolves into a codependent relationship - a relationship that Albert refuses to acknowledge. He doesn't need emotions, melodrama, or intimacy; he doesn't want it, nor does he think he deserves it, and damn Fletcher for putting him in such a position! In turn, this was understandably aggravating, as Fletcher tries to get Albert to concede more and more, and Fletcher must grapple with how much he'll compromise to be happy and to keep Albert in his life. Equal weight was put on the sadistic serial killer, and it became a procedural in and amongst the convoluted dance between these two men.

Maybe it's that very dance that many readers loved and appreciated. However, I often wanted to throttle Albert for his resistance in letting his barriers down, and I scratched my head at Fletcher's subjecting himself to such torture. Albert's need and want was not lacking, but the need for control often won out.

I get the conundrum of why someone is just it for the other; sometimes it's just unexplainable. Alas, I didn't quite understand the push/pull of these two, and despite the rare, sweet gesture, I couldn't really rejoice in Albert and Fletcher's win. If you want realism (for I know every relationship is far from perfect), then this is probably right up your alley. For me, I read to escape, and this left me with too little, too late, regarding their supposed HEA. ( )

Far to difficult to get into. Might have to come back to it I think! For now it is a DNF. ( )

This is not an easy novel and not only for the sheer length of it, almost 700 pages in a publishing industry that is mainly targeting more or less 200 pages to allow people to read it in one, maximum two sittings. But once you go over the length, and start reading it, it’s not its length that will “disturb” you, but the ability of the author to give deepness to every characters, even the less important ones, like Ricardo, the hustler, or the more unlikely like the villain. When you read about a killer, you have the hope, or the wish, that the villain is someone crazy, someone that cannot be controlled, and someone that will commit a mistake that will allow the good ones to throw him in a cell for the rest of his life. Having a killer that is, in a way, colder than the cold FBI agents, is scaring, unsettling, troubling.

From the title and the first chapter, the reader is expecting for Albert Sterne to be the only focus of the author; having a main character, the hero, that is not a nice man, is not something original; in a way the best heroes are the one that don’t want to be that. Albert apparently is a cold blooded bastard, a forensic for the FBI who is able to not let his feelings intruding his job, since, as all his colleagues believe, he has not feelings at all. But the author is soon ready to refute this theory letting Albert interacts with a young hustler, Ricardo, and we, as readers, see a different side of Albert, a side his colleagues are not able to see.

Not long after that the second main character, Fletcher Ash, enters the scene, and in a way he will gain the same importance, if not more, of Albert in the story, even if he has not his name in the title. The two men develop a relationship that is probably the best thing of the story (at least for me) and that allowed me to go on with it, even when, sincerely, I was despairing in doing so due to the first thing I said, I didn’t want to “feel” for the killer, I didn’t want for their to have a cold and thought about plan, I wanted for their to be totally crazy. And he was not.

The prologue of the story dates back in 1971, but the main core is between 1981 and 1985. I don’t think it was a casual choice for the author, these were the years when the AIDS plague made its appearance (and there is even a moment when the two main characters share the “safe sex” info); before AIDS having unprotected sex with strangers (if you were both men) was maybe not healthy safe, but it was not a death sentence. I think the fear for AIDS, even if it’s not really the engine behind the killer motivation, allows the reader not only to explain the craziness of their action, but also the reticence of both Albert than Fletcher to fully fall into their relationship. Something that, when one of them will need support and love, they will totally forget and they will be rewarded by their dear ones who will not deny them as a couple.

I’m not sure this book by Julie Bozza is good for everyone, the most squirming reader will probably want to avoid it. But if you want a very good psychological thriller, of the old fashioned type, I can fully recommend this one.

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