Great book. Structure really well, each chapter has a real story with real character whom Dr.Jay had helped. Being in my twenties, i think this book has clarified a lot of things for me in my life.
If you are in your twenties or early thirties, this book is a must read. ( )

2.5 stars. some good tidbits here and there, but very obvious that the target audience are upper/upper-middle class, straight, neurotypical, white people that want a nuclear family. her research was done between 2011-12 which is already out of touch with the current state of the world, post-pandemic, gen-z, etc. and is highly apparent when reading the anecdotes. ( )

Lots of cases. You can relate to some, and you can see how you or someone you know might end up going down one of these roads. Lots of helpful tips. I, for one, am gonna have a few things to think about. ( )

The book had lots of meaningful ideas about how a twenty something person can live there life now to set themselves up for the future.

Felt as though the author kept expanding upon obvious arguments. I was not able to relate to some of the content which made the book feel repetitive. ( )

My Thoughts



This book was a strange one for me.



Overall it is brilliant and I wish I had read it in my early twenties, rather than the last year of my 20s. When this book was recommended to me, I was told I may not get much from it, or it may not resonate for that reason, and I agree with this but found it interesting nonetheless.



To sum up- live with intention.







It is romantic to believe "some day" things will happen, but they won't unless you plan for it, or are putting yourself in places where unexpected opportunities will be passed your way.



Overall, I think this was a great book and I am trying to get my younger siblings (early 20yo) to read it asap. There is a revised edition coming in March 2021. (here)



I notice other reviewers felt depressed reading the book in their late 20s/early 30s, feeling regret for 'wasted 20s"- and I can certainly see where they come from. This book is not written for this audience so it isn't ideal.



I was conflicted. With many years of depression plaguing my 20s, I often have bouts of fear, uncertainty, regret, and a feeling of under achieving. Many plans failed and things took a different route that I ever planned.

“The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.”

However, on reading and reflecting, the point was reinforced that life has no guarantees other than time doesn't stop. While my life as turned out differently to how I imagined at 20, I have done and achieved many things I never anticipated. So there was a sense of relief reading the book for me. It also made me want to evaluate and plan for the decades ahead of me.



My advice and recommendation:



If you fear this book will fill you with regret - do. not. read. it.



If you are in your early/mid 20s. - Read it. Reflect on it. Think about your values and goals, and take away the points that resonate with you, and do not dwell on anything else.















I hope you enjoyed my thoughts on The Defining Decade. Have you read this? Tell me what you thought! 



Feel free to comment below or on my 'bookstagram' at @ReadWithWine. 
This review was originally posted on ReadWithWine ( )