I read this because a friend gave it a rave review. It's not something I would have picked up on my own and to be honest, I expected to be annoyed by it. Instead, I found that I couldn't put it down and I hope that Jen Larsen writes more books for me to read!

It's a simple book describing her decision to have weight loss surgery and then the adjustment period afterwards but it's really about insecurity and finding a way to be comfortable and happy with yourself when you are not perfect and the world you live in isn't perfect either.

( )

It's hard to "review" this brutally honest memoir. I had to put it down a number of times; I don't know how Jen could be so vulnerable. But I picked it up again at once. It's a hard read, but a good one. I'm glad I stuck with it; I'm glad she wrote it. ( )

When Jen Larsen underwent weight-loss surgery, she was partially cognizant that she was doing something drastic and that she was being reckless. It is not that she did not understand that this was major surgery and that her life would be different, it is just that she buried her head in the sand. Neglect is a recurrent theme throughout her memoir.

Before the surgery, she neglected her body by over-eating, drinking too much, and smoking. She introduces the reader to Andy, her boyfriend, whose lack of intimacy is telling and crushing for Larsen and that she avoids facing. After the surgery, not much changes. She continues to neglect herself by eating poorly, drinking too much, making poor dating decisions (although she was wise enough to end her relationship with Andy), and remaining ambivalent about becoming self-aware.

By the end, Larsen realizes her errors. In hindsight she knows that she was looking for a quick fix to the wrong problem. Weight was a symptom of her unhappiness and low self-value. It was only after losing the weight that she realized that she was making weight the culprit. Since losing the weight, she still struggles with happiness and healthiness. If nothing else, losing the weight showed her that she wishes she would have seen while heavy – it takes work to look within and choose a self-actualized path that leads to a better outlook and self-improvement.

I don't consider myself a memoir reader, but I saw the Big Idea for this on Scalzi's Whatever and it intrigued me enough to put a hold on it at the library.

I had trouble putting it down and read through it quite quickly. Very compellingly told.

One thing that did strike me as funny was that before she gets the weight loss surgery, she joins a mailing list and meets people in a support group and sees a bunch of doctors. After the surgery, there is zero mention of any of these things. Not even a mention of.. not going to doctor's appointments, skipping the support group, deleting emails or unsubscribing. Nothing. It was very odd.

There were also more typos than I'd like.

But it seemed very open and honest. ( )

I chose to read this book because I loved the cover design, and I know someone who has undergone bariatric surgery. The author's engaging writing style kept me reading--I read the book in a day--but I found the memoir oddly unsatisfying.

I wanted to hear more about the dietary and psychological adjustments that go along with losing half your size. But aside from a few bad episodes of "dumping syndrome", she changes into a new person rather quickly. She doesn't indicate whether she kept up with post-surgical counseling, support listservs, etc., but I suspect that she didn't.

Even thought the subtitle says "... and messed with my head", it didn't sound like our heroine Jen's head was messed with much at all. Once she lost over 100 pounds, she found the courage to leave a dead-end job (at a library where no one cared if she showed up two hours late to work--I don't know of any like that) and a sexless relationship. She found a gorgeous new guy and a glamorous new job pretty quickly. The only possible problem in her new life is that she's still drinking quite a bit of whiskey--that can't be a healthy habit if your missing a good part of your small intestine.

Then, in the epilogue, she tells the reader "please do as I say and not as I did" and offers links to fat acceptance web sites. She said in an early chapter that fat acceptance movement didn't do it for for her. But the surgical approach to weigh loss does seem to have worked well her, at least so far. So why would she advise the reader to go the self-acceptance route rather than surgery? The moral doesn't fit the story.

Jen Larsen's surgery was in 2006; perhaps she should have waited a few more years before writing her memoir. ( )