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Silently Seduced: When Parents Make their Children Partners - Understanding Covert Incest

door Kenneth M. Adams

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When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy--even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries--usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction--because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child. In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.… (meer)
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This book was suggested to me in a forum for Adult Survivors of Child Abuse. The author seems more familiar with male victims of covert incest, and tends to focus on victims dealing with addictions. It's also a very short work - more an overview of what covert incest is than a thorough examination of it. That all being said, it is a good, basic overview. I'm neither male, nor dealing with an active addiction, but still saw myself in this book. That it's a short work becomes an advantage - a victim in denial might not be willing to read a longer work, but may well see themselves in this one.

I prefer to find suggestions and ideas for recovery in books aimed at adult children of abuse/neglect/dysfunction, which this book is light on. There are suggestions, but they're almost too vague to be helpful. However, this book would be a good place to start for someone looking into the topic of covert incest. ( )
  hopeevey | May 19, 2018 |
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When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy--even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries--usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring.' The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction--because there is nothing loving or caring about a close parent-child relationship that services the needs of the parent rather than the child. In this revised and updated 20th anniversary edition of his groundbreaking book Silently Seduced, Dr. Adams explains how 'feeling close,' especially with the opposite-sex parent, is not the source of comfort the image suggests, especially when that child is cheated out of a childhood by being a parent's surrogate partner. He offers a framework to understand this covert incest and its effect on sexuality, intimacy, and relationships, and how victims can begin the process of recovery.

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