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"John had many things - money, high regard, friends, and power. He was a builder by trade, a master of the physical domain. The objects that fell before him only arose to become greater structures. But it was John's wife who both enchanted and haunted this small town." "Floyd, manager of Main Street Hardware, coveted John's wife. Otis just plain loved her. And Daphne loved her too, but Daphne thought she'd love her even more if John's wife were dead. And Gordon was obsessed with capturing the very essence of her on film, though this was impossible since John's wife just didn't seem to be there. That was the strange thing about John's wife - she seemed to have a thereness that just was not quite there. She was always in the hearts and minds of the town, an endearing and ubiquitous presence, yet few people, if asked, could describe her, even when she passed right before their very eyes. To this small town John's wife was as much a mystery as a coveted object."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved… (meer)
Look, I don't mind complicated plots. I don't mind reading 40 pages of a dude clipping his toenails as long as I, you know, find the character intresting. I don't mind having to deal with a 10 page long dramatis personae section, I don't mind family trees that will scare the living shit out of almost everyone I know, I don't mind reading 388 footnotes… but I need to honestly care for those character to put on with all that crap… feel a connection with the characters. I don't know...at least think they funny, cool or something… but this one. Oh god, this one!! It's just a bunch of stupid motherfuckers for whom I couldn't care less! Seriously, do I really want to know how some dude gets a better hard on when some dude he don't like is not around??? Or do I really want to read 2 pages on a senile dude expending days looking for the fucking gun that he is planning to use to blow up his head cuz he forgot where he hid it???? I feel like a whole town full of retards* decided to come to me and tell me about all the meaningless shit that happened in their lives and there is no cool breaking of the fourth wall or some shit here so I could at least entertain myself by imagining what would I do if I were the town's shrink. I'd act like I was Jack Kevorkian…. I'd start with the old dude… tell him about the Peanut Project… and how he could get himself one of those kick ass "exit bags" from Canada. Or since this book came out in 1997, I could prescribe some Nembutal to the dumb fuck and tell him exactly how to do it… or today, when after reading for few minutes, I did the dreaded "let me see how many pages of the crappy book I've read so far" and realized that it was only 10!!!! The horror!!! So I decided to spice things up by imagining how cool it would be if an outbreak of the T-virus started on that little small town and they all turned into zombies and me and Leon*2 were sent there to kick ass and kill zombies. And then I started to imagine how cool it would be to shoot all those stupid retards while screaming at them how annoyed I was with all their stupid bitching… then I started wondering if it was ok to fantasize about shooting fictional characters, and decided it was ok, cuz in my fantasy they were zombies and it's ok to kill zombies (they like Nazis or hippies…. You know nobody cares if you shoot a few). There is no law saying the contrary, and it's socially accepted. I mean zombie shootouts are in vogue!! Then I freaked out cuz I wasted like 10 minutes daydreaming about shooting zombies, decapitating zombies, throwing Molotov cocktails at zombies, and many other fun ways to kill zombies….
Well there you have Paper the reason why I don't like this book is simple… I just don't care about anybody in it….
*: for some reason song #34 of Anal Cunt's 3rd album started playing in my head while writing that sentence. *2: if y'all don't know who Leon on… google it god damn it!!! every zombie fan should know who Leon is!!!
Alfonso’s report on Jonh’s Wife…. (Final)
Ok… I recently learned to abridge shit… so I’ma give this piece of crap a try:
Jonh’s Wife…………………….ABRIDGED!:
We open with some bull shit followed by more bull shit then some “plot” that makes no sense, then some stupid awkward, senseless transitions where you have to go back and re read again cuz you aint sure how if you was reading about a girl 2 sentences ago and now she has a penis? Them some more useless craps about characters that are completely unrelated to what you were thinking about the plot was, then something about some dude and a camera and some weird senseless philosophical shit that has something to do with aesthetics or something like that, then a lot of malls, construction companies, and I don’t know some weird rivalry between a weird girl and John and then he mention john’s wife and some different people want to fuck her or fuck her up and I don’t know I think it had something to do with love… then more shit, more awkward transitions, more bull shit, something to do with a crazy bitch and a retard and them hanging out and stealing food, and then some hunt and more shit more awkward transitions, guns a whale hunt, somebody masturbates with a shotgun, people die, a quick wrap it up copout maneuver and the end! ( )
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
For Angela Carter, whose infamous illusionist Doctor Hoffman believed, like Ovid, that "the world exists only as a medium for our desires," and that "Nothing . . . is ever completed; it only changes."
And for Ovid: "Those two, with so much else in common, were models for me, masters, examples to follow, and now my justification." --Tristia, Book II
Eerste woorden
Informatie afkomstig uit de Engelse Algemene Kennis.Bewerk om naar jouw taal over te brengen.
...Once there was a man named John.
Citaten
Laatste woorden
Ontwarringsbericht
Uitgevers redacteuren
Auteur van flaptekst/aanprijzing
Oorspronkelijke taal
Gangbare DDC/MDS
Canonieke LCC
▾Verwijzingen
Verwijzingen naar dit werk in externe bronnen.
Wikipedia in het Engels
Geen
▾Boekbeschrijvingen
"John had many things - money, high regard, friends, and power. He was a builder by trade, a master of the physical domain. The objects that fell before him only arose to become greater structures. But it was John's wife who both enchanted and haunted this small town." "Floyd, manager of Main Street Hardware, coveted John's wife. Otis just plain loved her. And Daphne loved her too, but Daphne thought she'd love her even more if John's wife were dead. And Gordon was obsessed with capturing the very essence of her on film, though this was impossible since John's wife just didn't seem to be there. That was the strange thing about John's wife - she seemed to have a thereness that just was not quite there. She was always in the hearts and minds of the town, an endearing and ubiquitous presence, yet few people, if asked, could describe her, even when she passed right before their very eyes. To this small town John's wife was as much a mystery as a coveted object."--BOOK JACKET.Title Summary field provided by Blackwell North America, Inc. All Rights Reserved
)
Google Books — Bezig met laden...
(3.17)
2
Ok I'ma try to explain my case…
Why do I think this book is crap, Alfonso?
Look, I don't mind complicated plots. I don't mind reading 40 pages of a dude clipping his toenails as long as I, you know, find the character intresting. I don't mind having to deal with a 10 page long dramatis personae section, I don't mind family trees that will scare the living shit out of almost everyone I know, I don't mind reading 388 footnotes… but I need to honestly care for those character to put on with all that crap… feel a connection with the characters. I don't know...at least think they funny, cool or something… but this one. Oh god, this one!! It's just a bunch of stupid motherfuckers for whom I couldn't care less! Seriously, do I really want to know how some dude gets a better hard on when some dude he don't like is not around??? Or do I really want to read 2 pages on a senile dude expending days looking for the fucking gun that he is planning to use to blow up his head cuz he forgot where he hid it????
I feel like a whole town full of retards* decided to come to me and tell me about all the meaningless shit that happened in their lives and there is no cool breaking of the fourth wall or some shit here so I could at least entertain myself by imagining what would I do if I were the town's shrink. I'd act like I was Jack Kevorkian…. I'd start with the old dude… tell him about the Peanut Project… and how he could get himself one of those kick ass "exit bags" from Canada. Or since this book came out in 1997, I could prescribe some Nembutal to the dumb fuck and tell him exactly how to do it… or today, when after reading for few minutes, I did the dreaded "let me see how many pages of the crappy book I've read so far" and realized that it was only 10!!!! The horror!!! So I decided to spice things up by imagining how cool it would be if an outbreak of the T-virus started on that little small town and they all turned into zombies and me and Leon*2 were sent there to kick ass and kill zombies. And then I started to imagine how cool it would be to shoot all those stupid retards while screaming at them how annoyed I was with all their stupid bitching… then I started wondering if it was ok to fantasize about shooting fictional characters, and decided it was ok, cuz in my fantasy they were zombies and it's ok to kill zombies (they like Nazis or hippies…. You know nobody cares if you shoot a few). There is no law saying the contrary, and it's socially accepted. I mean zombie shootouts are in vogue!! Then I freaked out cuz I wasted like 10 minutes daydreaming about shooting zombies, decapitating zombies, throwing Molotov cocktails at zombies, and many other fun ways to kill zombies….
Well there you have Paper the reason why I don't like this book is simple… I just don't care about anybody in it….
*: for some reason song #34 of Anal Cunt's 3rd album started playing in my head while writing that sentence.
*2: if y'all don't know who Leon on… google it god damn it!!! every zombie fan should know who Leon is!!!
Alfonso’s report on Jonh’s Wife…. (Final)
Ok… I recently learned to abridge shit… so I’ma give this piece of crap a try:
Jonh’s Wife…………………….ABRIDGED!:
We open with some bull shit followed by more bull shit then some “plot” that makes no sense, then some stupid awkward, senseless transitions where you have to go back and re read again cuz you aint sure how if you was reading about a girl 2 sentences ago and now she has a penis? Them some more useless craps about characters that are completely unrelated to what you were thinking about the plot was, then something about some dude and a camera and some weird senseless philosophical shit that has something to do with aesthetics or something like that, then a lot of malls, construction companies, and I don’t know some weird rivalry between a weird girl and John and then he mention john’s wife and some different people want to fuck her or fuck her up and I don’t know I think it had something to do with love… then more shit, more awkward transitions, more bull shit, something to do with a crazy bitch and a retard and them hanging out and stealing food, and then some hunt and more shit more awkward transitions, guns a whale hunt, somebody masturbates with a shotgun, people die, a quick wrap it up copout maneuver and the end!
(