Growing up is tough even without any additional challenges – and Connor’s story proves that. He is so busy trying to be the person he thinks he should be so he can be successful and make it out of his hometown that he has no time to figure out who he is and what he wants to do with his life. You know, typical teenager stuff. When a new kid transfers to his high school, a boy Connor’s age who wears guyliner and is openly gay, things begin to change for Connor. Suddenly the real battle for Connor’s coming of age begins, and it is realistic, emotional, stressful, and I was cheering him along every painful step of the way.

Connor thinks he has to be perfect to make it in life. There are a few things in his family background that make it extra necessary for him to be super successful, or so he thinks. His parents work hard but have never been to college, and with five children to feed there is not a lot of extra money lying around. Connor focuses on maintaining his grades, attending the “right” after-school clubs, being an outstanding baseball player – after all, an athletic scholarship is one of the only ways he can afford to go to a good college. All of this has made him heap a lot of pressure on himself, but since his father keeps lecturing, Connor can’t let up on himself.

Then Graham moves to town, and Connor has no idea what hit him. He is attracted to the new guy – who is a star soccer player - but it is obvious that Graham is gay so Connor pulls back for fear of being thought “gay by association”. Connor’ growing feelings confuse him, his determination to hide and deny everything adds to the pressure he feels, and he is about ready to crack when an injury prevents him from playing baseball for at least a year. Between his frustration and fear of being found out, Connor begins to see what’s really important. His journey to admitting who he is remains full of errors and setbacks, but once he figures out what he wants to fight for – rather than what he thought he should fight for – progress becomes possible.

Graham has not had an easy life and is trying to make a new start. But the one thing he will not do is hide who he is – never mind the consequences. As the gruesome details of his past emerge, it becomes very clear why he insists on not hiding, but it is not something he can explain to Connor. For one thing, Connor’s experience is very different, and for another, going through the steps of realizing who you are and deciding what to do about it is a journey everyone has to go through themselves. Graham’s attraction to Connor is undeniable, and as they go from friendship to something more, Graham’s pain every time Connor stumbles almost makes him give up hope.

If you like coming-of-age stories, if you want to find out more about the struggles of two young men facing the reality of being gay in a world that is far from welcoming for anyone who is different, and if you’re looking for a read that is full of emotion, pain, fear, family drama and support, courage, and hope, then you will probably like this novel as much as I do. It’s honest, realistic, and shows the vulnerability of two young men as they grow up and decide who they want to be. Very touching!


NOTE: This book was provided by Dreamspinner Press for the purpose of a review on Rainbow Book Reviews. ( )