Zero stars from me.

I did not enjoy this and DNF

You know that feeling when you're a college student in your senior writing project class? And you have an awesome concept and a great voice? (You're even a pretty decent writer, if you say so yourself.) And you have to turn in a chapter a week for peer reading and review? And you have no freaking clue where your story is going? And so you write every chapter as long as you possibly can, with as little happening as it possibly can? (Maybe you flood the chapters with backstory or season them with tons of worldbuilding detail.) And you hope—so hard—that no one will notice that your story isn't actually saying or doing anything? Because you have an awesome concept and a great voice?

...Yeah. Me neither.

I do, unfortunately, know what it's like to be the peer reading and reviewing that story, though. And I had some serious flashbacks to my senior writing project class whilst reading Gork, the Teenage Dragon. Absolutely nothing happens for the first 250 pages of this thing. I mean, worldbuilding happens. Backstory happens. Lots of grammatically questionable dragon narrative happens. But all the plot is crammed into the last third of the book.

And even that is so disjointed that it reads like a fever dream. I don't mean it's weird: I can handle weird. I can even handle sophisticated, intellectual weirdness that attempts to turn my brain inside-out. This is the kind of fever dream where actual happenings from scene to scene don't follow one another: characters who were stuck in one place are suddenly in another or escape their dire situations without explanation.

Which would be disorienting enough without the heavy-handed environmental message plastered across the happily-ever-after. There are already messages to be yourself and cherish your weaknesses because they're your greatest strengths (especially in a sci-fi dragons-as-Vikings culture) threaded throughout the book. But apparently this isn't enough? Gork has to finish his story by telling everyone on earth that we have to take care of the environment or he'll eat us?

Senior writing project class, man. I see you trying, Mr. Hudson, and I'm proud of you for it, but something to work on for next week? Arrange your plot with more attention to pacing and continuity. Find ways to present your themes and messages with subtlety and maybe a fresh twist or three. I like your concept. I like your voice. But I think we could definitely make this stronger on the second draft. ( )

What do you know about dragons? They like to horde gold, they are evil creatures that seek and destroy, or they are intelligences and noble creatures. What if I tell you they act like teenagers going to high school and learn how to invade and conquer different plants all across the universe. They have advances technology in bio-engineering, robotics, and are able to swap minds with other creatures.
Well there an interesting sci-fic twist on dragons. That is what I like about the whole book. Everything else has some rough edges.

First off is the first-person narrative starts out strong, from the first pages the narrated is sarcastic and snarky. Then it starts to sizzle away as the story goes on and it becomes more antsy teenager. There are some humorist moments that made me laugh a few times. The comedy lies more in the dialogue then some of the scenarios being played out.

The story is a bit everywhere. When there a flashback it hard to think where each took place. To me some the order of events doesn’t add up.

Its rare to see a book all dragons and no humans. I have read some short stories that are told in the dragon’s point of view. In fact, I’m writing a story that has a dragon’s POV, however it more fantasy base.

I know comedy is highly suggested and hard to pull off. This is an interesting take on dragons as a whole. I’ll admitted I was getting tired of seeing dragons in fantasy. If you want a new take on dragons, then this book is worth checking out. ( )

where do I start ?? I had thought I would abandon this, but then I re-read some of the reviews, and people had said it was redeeming at the end. ( I didn't feel that it was). I'm not sure if it was aimed at middle grade or YA or adult, but any way, it's inappropriate. If it's middle grade, there is way too much sexy innuendo and language. If it's YA or adult, it's too juvenile. It's repetitive. I was listening to an audiobook ( 10 hours !!) and I kept on thinking it had restarted the CD, only to see it was actually on another track, repeating what they had said 3 tracks (chapters) ago. It was painful. And it was weird. Scaly green ass. Scaly green head, Scaly this and that. luscious tail. Calling all the females chicks, and commenting on their tails, "dripping ovowombs", so bizarre. It touts itself as a cross between Game of Thrones and Hitchhikers Guide. It SO isn't either. It's a badly written, offensively sexist, weird book. I feel like the audience would be 13-17 yr old boys that live in the basement and play videogames, and would watch dinosaur porn. It's getting 1 star only because i can't give it 0.01. Hated it. I am confounded by the rave reviews it gets, I can only wonder if they are all family. Thank goodness I didn't buy this. I feel like I should notify the library how inappropriate it is. ( )