This is a heartbreaking, entrancing force of nature. I read it in one sitting because I literally couldn't tear myself away. Others I know, on the other hand, could only take it in small doses since it is so depressing. There are so many holes and so many unanswered questions but you are grateful for what you are given. ( )

Interesting only for the author's walking "journey to the end of night" through Europe and the Middle East. Otherwise, just another dreary, overlong (if competently written) memoir of American (white) family dysfunction. Enough, already. Why Americans are so bad at family, and the ways they are bad at it that may be specific to the norms of this nation, would be a psycho-social history worth writing. But we don't need any more case histories, imho. ( )

"I didn’t make this plan. I just wake up sometimes and want to crawl out of my life” (60).


After getting expelled from high school in Hampton, NH in 1965 when it is discovered that she is 5-months pregnant,
Meredith finds herself very alone in the world. Shunned by the community that she once was a part of-even by her friends & and family including her own mother.

She was sent to live with her father and her step-mother during her pregnancy in Epping, NH; both traveled for work and she was kept in isolation. If they had dinner parties-she was to dine alone in her room. After the baby’s delivery she is sent off to boarding school and the baby is given up for adoption. She has no choice in the matter.

After graduation she and her step-mother have an argument and she is banned from her
father’s house forever.

Meredith’s soul searching took her from New Hampshire to Boston to India to Maine.

“The nights are very cold. I have no jacket, no sweater, no shoes” (113).

"I believe that this is a choice for me, that working here is temporary, that I will be moving back into adventure any day. For most of the women, it is what they will do all their lives, and their jobs are never certain as prices or fish stocks rise and fall” (84).

She wrote such a moving personal essay that Bowdoin
College admitted her as their only non-traditional student at the age of forty. She worked part-time, went to college full-time, and raised two sons alone.

She teaches writing and gives inspiration to students at the University of New Hampshire.

Her memoir is written in a beautiful narrative that is brave, honest, raw, but not "dramatic" it's rational and logical yet free-spirited - a real page turner. Once I started it I didn't put it down until I was finished.

This is a book that you don't read - you consume it, digest it, and think it over.

"I didn’t make this plan. I just wake up sometimes and want to crawl out of my life” (60).


After getting expelled from high school in Hampton, NH in 1965 when it is discovered that she is 5-months pregnant,
Meredith finds herself very alone in the world. Shunned by the community that she once was a part of-even by her friends & and family including her own mother.

She was sent to live with her father and her step-mother during her pregnancy in Epping, NH; both traveled for work and she was kept in isolation. If they had dinner parties-she was to dine alone in her room. After the baby’s delivery she is sent off to boarding school and the baby is given up for adoption. She has no choice in the matter.

After graduation she and her step-mother have an argument and she is banned from her
father’s house forever.

Meredith’s soul searching took her from New Hampshire to Boston to India to Maine.

“The nights are very cold. I have no jacket, no sweater, no shoes” (113).

"I believe that this is a choice for me, that working here is temporary, that I will be moving back into adventure any day. For most of the women, it is what they will do all their lives, and their jobs are never certain as prices or fish stocks rise and fall” (84).

She wrote such a moving personal essay that Bowdoin
College admitted her as their only non-traditional student at the age of forty. She worked part-time, went to college full-time, and raised two sons alone.

She teaches writing and gives inspiration to students at the University of New Hampshire.

Her memoir is written in a beautiful narrative that is brave, honest, raw, but not "dramatic" it's rational and logical yet free-spirited - a real page turner. Once I started it I didn't put it down until I was finished.

This is a book that you don't read - you consume it, digest it, and think it over.

This memoir starts with a harsh and haunting premise; Meredith (Meredy) is the beloved third child in a family where love really counts. Even though her father leaves and remarries when Meredy is 10, she has strong memories of love and nurturance from her father (while also recognizing, in retrospect, his extreme self-centeredness). She is a smart, pretty 16-year old who belongs to her classmates, church family and town...until she becomes pregnant and is literally shunned by her community and her own family. She gives her child up for adoption and spends years missing him.

Beautifully written, with a strong, sure voice. Highly recommended. ( )