i know it's not fair to judge a book outside the time it was written in, so i'll start with something positive. i think it's a really good thing anytime people talk honestly about sex and about what they want from a partner. about what their needs are, and about healthy sexuality being not just about safe sex but about how to make the sex you want to have safe. about not being embarrassed about buying or using or talking about sex toys. so there's that. but. this book might just be a product of its time, and maybe had she been writing now instead of 20 years ago, perhaps she'd say something different. as it stands, she is anti-feminist and pro-pornography (2 things i vehemently am not) and even talks about rape fantasy (or was it gang rape fantasy) as something positive. i'm ok with none of these things, especially in the context of sex positivity and empowering women. in her view of bisexuality "She wants to get fucked PROPERLY - is that so hard to understand? - and she'll gravitate to whoever can deliver." i don't like being labeled this way, and i don't like the rest of the labeling she does throughout the book either. ( )