The first volume of de Beauvoir's memoir, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter, is both distressing and fascinating. An account of her childhood to early adulthood: from her Catholic upbringing to her abandonment of religious sentiments and confinements ad nauseam in exchange of at times depressing, second-guessing journey to the eye-opening comforts of Philosophy.

Brought up in a bourgeois family restricted both by religion and expected gender roles, de Beauvoir was perceptive and insightful, her questions challenging in nature. As a child, she pondered about her easy acceptance of the truth after finding out Santa Claus was not real and their Christmas presents came from their parents, 'is this because we still get what we wanted that even if it's a deception it matters not?' and a budding scepticism towards adults' intent whenever they express concern and kindness, 'are they doing this to make me obey them?'. Towards her adolescence, amidst her parents' literary censorship and avoidance on conversations about sex (babies came from the anus, her mother stated), she acquired her own set of beliefs and discarded those which were stifling to her until she had to prove herself from her parents' disappointments regarding her choices (especially her choice to teach and refusal to adopt the common female role of that era).

Her literary undertakings greatly contributed on her growth both as an author and a thinker, ** "Literature took the place in my life that had once been occupied by religion: it absorbed me entirely, and transfigured my life." (p204) Nobody managed to stop her. They called her thirst for knowledge corruption, her influence evil. Her rebellious attitude often coincided with her ambivalent feelings towards marriage and family. It's a tug-of-war between her intellectual and spiritual lives, ** "The consequence was that I grew accustomed to the idea that my intellectual life — embodied by my father — and my spiritual life — expressed by my mother — were two heterogeneous fields of experience which had nothing in common." (p41). By her early 20s, though struggling, she had made peace with her inner desire, opting for the rewarding and difficult intellectual path in spite of her relatable, terrible longing for a romantic relationship. She was obviously head over heels with her cousin Jacques which she eventually learnt to move on from. However, a series of disillusionment can still be sensed with her string of platonic and ambiguous friendships which lasted years. She mused that it was easy for men to form a platonic friendship with her because she had a "female appearance and a male brain". Curiously, she didn't scare men off. However, most often than not, she saw herself as alien, different, never fitting anywhere. This was until she met Sartre and found in him her intellectual and romantic match; Sartre supported and took her under his wing, his respect and support for her choices was a breathe of fresh air; an enlightenment in itself. He did not put her inside The Gender Box: that women ought to marry and make herself a wife, nothing else. de Beauvoir's admiration for Sartre transcended the pages of this book and it was such a delight to read. I personally wanted more. Amusingly, it took 300 pages before she finally mentioned Sartre and his failure on a written exam.

What was deeply moving in de Beauvoir's memoir was how the people in her life, as she developed as a person, also developed for better or for worse. Vividly, we read and, to an extent, relate to the sudden estrangements, changes, and pleasant closeness she had with people beloved to her. It took years, at times it took only words. It depicted the loss of innocence and the fears of adulthood. Her longing for solitude both anguished and comforted her. She was a contradictory we all could find ourselves in.

Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter was surprisingly painful by the end. A reflection of how remorse and guilt impact the conscience more so when they're without logic. It reminded me of what Winterson said regarding religious upbringing that one cannot completely eradicate it from one's inner self. However tiny, there'll always be a remnant of it left. We only have to try our best to silence it to a mere whisper of nonsense. This was a spectacular memoir. It's something that will certainly stay with me for a while. I honestly can't wait to get my hands on the second volume then surround myself with her fiction and hardcore philosophical works. ( )

Mit unbedingter Aufrichtigkeit erzählt hier eine der "klügsten Frauen des Jahrhundert" die Geschichte ihrer Jugend bis zu Begegnung mit Jean-Paul Sartre. Dies ist zugleich die Geschichte ihrer Befreiung aus dem Bann der konventionellen Denk- und Lebensformen des Elternhauses und damit ihrer Befreiung zu sich selbst.

843.914 BEA

843.914 BEA

Pour une brève incursion dans les mémoires de jeunesse de SImone de Beauvoir, rien de mieux, sans doute, que de la citer :
«Je rêvais d’être ma propre cause et ma propre fin ; je pensais à présent que la littérature me permettrait de réaliser ce vœu. Elle m’assurerait une immortalité qui compenserait l’éternité perdue ; il n’y avait plus de Dieu pour m’aimer, mais je brûlerais dans des millions de cœurs. En écrivant une œuvre nourrie de mon histoire, je me créerais moi-même à neuf et je justifierais mon existence. En même temps, je servirais l’humanité : quel plus beau cadeau lui faire que des livres ? Je m’intéressais à la fois à moi et aux autres ; j’acceptais mon « incarnation » mais je ne voulais pas renoncer à l’universel : ce projet conciliait tout ; il flattait toutes les aspirations qui s’étaient développées en moi au cours de ces quinze années.»

Née en 1908, Simone de Beauvoir raconte avec beaucoup d'honnêteté et de clarté que fut son enfance bourgeoise auprès de sa sœur aimée, au sein d'une famille plutôt aimante mais très stricte et peu permissive, puis son adolescence et ses jeunes années en tant qu'étudiante. Elle retrace la grande gaieté d'une petite fille qui se sentait libre et déjà unique, qui a subi ensuite en grandissant les affres de la restriction de la famille et de la religion. Elle évoque sa passion dévorante pour les études et la connaissance sans que cela se fasse jamais au détriment des relations humaines toujours si importantes à ses yeux (sa sœur Poupette, ses amis dont Zaza qui a tellement compté pour elle). Toujours en quête d'elle-même, toujours en questionnement, ses mémoires révèlent la grande femme d'esprit qu'elle fut, au moyen d'une écriture riche et limpide.

En osant montrer comment on se dégage d'une éducation très bourgeoise, conservatrice et catholique, Simone de Beauvoir donne un exemple de courage, de conviction et de lucidité assez rare. Ce témoignage qui analyse beaucoup et juge peu (ce qui contribue à sa très grande qualité) est l'histoire d'une chrysalide en jeune fille rangée annonçant le papillon, la femme à venir et en liberté qui dérangera à travers ses écrits.

Un texte de très grande qualité, par son amplitude, sa force de vie et de réflexion et où l'on décèle une influence existentialiste : l’individu ne peut accéder à l’être qu’en étant animé de projets, qu’en cherchant la transcendance à travers ses actes. ( )