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Marriage, a History: from Obedience to Intimacy, or How Love Conquered Marriage (2005)

door Stephanie Coontz

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8391925,746 (3.86)33
Just when the clamor over "traditional" marriage couldn't get any louder, along comes this groundbreaking book to ask, "What tradition?" In Marriage, a History, historian and marriage expert Stephanie Coontz takes listeners from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the torments of Victorian lovers to demonstrate how recent the idea of marrying for love is-and how absurd it would have seemed to most of our ancestors. It was when marriage moved into the emotional sphere in the nineteenth century, she argues, that it suffered as an institution just as it began to thrive as a personal relationship. This enlightening and hugely entertaining book brings intelligence, perspective, and wit to today's marital debate.… (meer)
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I've always questioned what it was that the Religious Right wanted in terms of a "traditional marriage." Did they want to bring back domestic violence as an acceptable form of communication between two people? Or did they want to bring back marriage as a political or property exchange? Either way, I would recommend this history book to someone who voted Yes on Proposition 8 in California. ( )
  tyk314 | Jan 22, 2024 |
I've always questioned what it was that the Religious Right wanted in terms of a "traditional marriage." Did they want to bring back domestic violence as an acceptable form of communication between two people? Or did they want to bring back marriage as a political or property exchange? Either way, I would recommend this history book to someone who voted Yes on Proposition 8 in California. ( )
  tyk314 | Jan 22, 2024 |
The book gave a good idea of just how many different ways there are of considering marriage. Coontz looks at marriage across different cultures and throughout history. Her thesis is that over time marriage has gone from a public institution with a strict hierarchical structure to a private one based on equality and mutual esteem. If nothing else, the books teaches you that anyone who says that "X is the way marriage has always been" is nearly always wrong.
  eri_kars | Jul 10, 2022 |
This book made me stop at nearly every paragraph to ponder everything I ever thought I knew about the institution of marriage. (And with quite a lot of varied personal experience in and out of that arena, I had the silly notion that I was beginning to comprehend a good bit.)

Coontz traces the best understandings of the origins of marriage beginning way back in prehistory and describes the amazing variety of forms marriage has taken all around the world. As the narrative moves from prehistory to the present, the scope correspondingly narrows to predominantly north America and western Europe, but that is truly the only short-coming in this deeply resourced study. (Because it was published in 2005, the work ends before the 2015 U.S. Supreme Court decision of Obergefell v. Hodges, holding the fundamental right to marry is constitutionally guaranteed to same-sex couples.)

"Marriage, a History" examines marriage from inside and out; the societal, religious, familial, economic, and political forces that act on marriage and the ways in which marriage acts right back; and the hopes, dreams, and expectations that individuals have about and within marriages. Coontz concludes that marriage is no longer and can never again be an institution into which virtually all people can be plunked and expected to remain for the entirety of their adult lives. She reaches this conclusion not out of any subjective or judgmental view about whether marriage is right or wrong, good or bad, but rather as a result of the clear-eyed analysis of the facts gleaned from the history and progression of marriage in the world.

Thanks to my daughter for loaning me this book! ( )
  Phyllis.Mann | Mar 18, 2020 |
3.5 stars

Love has only been a precursor to marriage the past couple of hundred years or so. Before that, marriage was mostly for financial or political reasons. Love may or may not have come later. So what many call “traditional marriage” is not really as “traditional” as some might have one believe. What’s often seen as traditional or ideal was really only what marriage was (seen as) in the 1950s for just over a decade. Of course, what went on behind closed doors is not exactly what “Ozzie and Harriet” would have us all believe, either.

The author is a family studies professor. The book takes a look at the history of marriage during different times and cultures in history (though the focus, certainly for modern marriages, is on the Western world). I found this quite interesting. The book has an extensive “Notes” section at the end for those of us who also like to peruse through it for extra tidbits of information. As someone who has never been married, for some reason, I added this to my tbr ages ago! ( )
1 stem LibraryCin | Apr 5, 2019 |
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George Bernard Shaw described marriage as an institution that brings together two people "under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions."
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Just when the clamor over "traditional" marriage couldn't get any louder, along comes this groundbreaking book to ask, "What tradition?" In Marriage, a History, historian and marriage expert Stephanie Coontz takes listeners from the marital intrigues of ancient Babylon to the torments of Victorian lovers to demonstrate how recent the idea of marrying for love is-and how absurd it would have seemed to most of our ancestors. It was when marriage moved into the emotional sphere in the nineteenth century, she argues, that it suffered as an institution just as it began to thrive as a personal relationship. This enlightening and hugely entertaining book brings intelligence, perspective, and wit to today's marital debate.

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