To be a parent means you are only as happy as your most unhappy child — this is never more profound as when your child is an addict.

For parents of children who are not addicts, you will never know the grief, pain, loss, desperation, angst, guilt, anger, betrayal, and unimaginable fear we with addict children go through. I envy you.

Beautiful Boy is a raw story of love and misery that one man goes through with his addict son. Sheff’s authentic introspection says it all: “I became addicted to my child’s addiction.” We parents of addicts become preoccupied, at the expense of other responsibilities, marriage, other children, work, friends, church. We justify. We beg. We make deals. We compromise, with them, and with our selves. And we never stop loving them.

This is not a read for the weak. This is an in the trenches look at what it feels like to go through the ups and downs of life with an addict. This is not pretty. But this is necessary to know. Addiction is a disease of the brain that only the addict can choose to control. None of the platitudes work: They can just stop. It’s a choice. No one is making them take the drink/drug. And that is the rub for us parents: How can I not try to fix my child? How can I sit back and watch? How can they do this to themselves, to me, to their family? What could I have done differently? What did I do wrong? But again, this is about the addict and we parents just have to ride the waves, arms open for the fall; and the fall always comes. Hopefully, the fall will just be a slip, not a life altering or ending one.

I have heard this book has been made into a movie, I’m sure it’s great. But my guess is that the book is far more powerful with its written descriptions of emotion, feeling, and fear. If you are going through it, or if you have been through it, or if you know someone who is in the through of a child with an addiction, this is one for you. I wish you well, you are not alone. ( )

Required reading for family members who are dealing with the co-dependency that goes hand in hand with having a loved one in active addiction. Read for school. ( )

This was an incredibly emotional read and I would definitely recommend reading it because it is heartbreaking and something that got me thinking a lot, but I do have a lot of issues with it, as well. Mainly, it's the privilege of a wealthy white family with endless opportunities to get their son help. I am so happy that they were able to do so so many times, but he never acknowledged that calling the cops on your own child (and not worrying about them shooting him while he's tweaking) or sending them to an expensive rehabilitative facility or 99% of the things he did were results of his rich white privilege. It also framed marijuana as a gateway drug and didn't talk about its medicinal effects at all. There were so many opportunities to talk about the criminalization of addiction and yet the only time Sheff brought it up was to say that at least if someone is in jail, you know where they are. Like okay, but what about the systemic abuse that they are enduring? The drugs that they likely have access to? And, oh right, the fact that they are in jail for a disease?
All of this said, there were tears in my eyes at a few different points, which is pretty rare for me when I'm reading. So yes, it could have been much better, but the emotional aspect of the book was absolutely there. ( )

I read this for a book club for friends and family of addicts. It was well-written book, and the author did a great job capturing the cycle of emotions that people go through when a loved one is addicted to substances. I don’t know if reading memoirs is as helpful to me as reading the more straightforward self-help books on the subject. One positive thing about reading a memoir like this, is you’re reminded that you’re not alone. I’m curious what he has to say in Clean, which I’m starting next for the same club. ( )

This was a very sad and frustrating look at the life of an addict through the father's eyes. Addiction is difficult to deal with for anyone but you did feel the father's pain at watching his child constantly relapse time and time again and his helplessness at being able to fix it. There is also a lot of guilt for their poor choices and the enabling of the son's addiction. However, you can also clearly see that this is a family of privilege and they have means at their disposal that most people don't which can be off-putting in a way. This guy had opportunities that most people could only dream of much less someone who is completely untrustworthy and always high. That doesn't usually translate into job opportunities for most. That aside, it also shows that anyone can fall into addiction regardless of their life circumstances and it's extremely difficult to get out of even with money. As a parent, watching your child spiral into such self-destruction is simply heartbreaking and, since this was written years ago, I hope they are both doing better and the son is able to stay clean. ( )