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Rudder Grange

door Frank R. Stockton

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One evening Euphemia and I were sitting, rather disconsolately, in our room, and I was reading out the advertisements of country board in a newspaper, searching for a home, when in rushed Dr. Heare -- one of our old friends. He was so full of something that he had to say that he didn't even ask us how we were. In fact, he didn't appear to want to know. "I tell you what it is," said he, "I have found just the very thing you want. A canal-boat." To live in? A canal-boat for a home? We sat up until twenty minutes past two, talking about that house. We ceased to call it a boat at about a quarter of eleven. The next day I "took" the boat and paid a month's rent in advance. Three days afterward we moved into it. One of our earliest subjects of discussion was the name of our homestead. We found it no easy matter to select an appropriate title. I proposed a number of appellations intended to suggest the character of our home. Among these were: "Safe Ashore," "Firmly Grounded," but Euphemia did not fancy any of them. "Partitionville" she objected to, and "Gangplank Terrace" did not suit her because it suggested convicts going out to work. At last, after days of talk and cogitation, we named our house "Rudder Grange." To be sure, it wasn't exactly a grange, but then it had such an enormous rudder that the justice of that part of the title seemed to overbalance any little inaccuracy in the other portion. . . .… (meer)
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Funny and cute. It's interesting to see how things have changed over the last 100 years or more and how some things are the same. This is a tale of newlyweds and their search for a perfect home. You can read it for free (just Google the title or look on Gutenbergpress.org).
Here is a funny bit about mortgages as the wife tries to convince her husband that it would be possible for them to build their own home:
"No, you needn't have any money," said Euphemia, rather hastily. "Just let me show you. Supposing, for instance, that you want to build a house worth—well, say twenty thousand dollars, in some pretty town near the city,"

"I would rather figure on a cheaper house than that for a country place," I interrupted.

"Well, then, say two thousand dollars. You get masons and carpenters, and people to dig the cellar, and you engage them to build your house. You needn't pay them until it's done, of course. Then when it's all finished, borrow two thousand dollars and give the house as security. After that, you see, you have only to pay the interest on the borrowed money. When you save enough money to pay back the loan, the house is your own. Now isn't that a good plan?"

"Yes," said I, "if there could be found people who would build your house and wait for their money until someone would lend you its full value on a mortgage."

"Well," said Euphemia, "I guess they could be found, if you would only look for them."

"I'll look for them when I go to heaven," I said. ( )
  wrightja2000 | Sep 6, 2018 |
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One evening Euphemia and I were sitting, rather disconsolately, in our room, and I was reading out the advertisements of country board in a newspaper, searching for a home, when in rushed Dr. Heare -- one of our old friends. He was so full of something that he had to say that he didn't even ask us how we were. In fact, he didn't appear to want to know. "I tell you what it is," said he, "I have found just the very thing you want. A canal-boat." To live in? A canal-boat for a home? We sat up until twenty minutes past two, talking about that house. We ceased to call it a boat at about a quarter of eleven. The next day I "took" the boat and paid a month's rent in advance. Three days afterward we moved into it. One of our earliest subjects of discussion was the name of our homestead. We found it no easy matter to select an appropriate title. I proposed a number of appellations intended to suggest the character of our home. Among these were: "Safe Ashore," "Firmly Grounded," but Euphemia did not fancy any of them. "Partitionville" she objected to, and "Gangplank Terrace" did not suit her because it suggested convicts going out to work. At last, after days of talk and cogitation, we named our house "Rudder Grange." To be sure, it wasn't exactly a grange, but then it had such an enormous rudder that the justice of that part of the title seemed to overbalance any little inaccuracy in the other portion. . . .

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