I love the concept of this story, but most of it being told through Charlotte ruins it, in my opinion. I would have much preferred to see more dialogue from the likes of Joe and Lou, instead of having to decipher their words through Charlotte’s rambles. This fourteen-year-old girl has some serious problems. Granted she’s a teenager; she’s confused about everything, which is perfectly fine. But she’s also completely neurotic, and her inability to stick to one thought makes this an exhausting read.

Just when she’s saying something, and her story is picking up motion, Charlotte goes off on one of her wandering walks through her mind, talking about people who’ve said this and said that, and mentioning things they did and pointing out things they would never dream of doing in this God given lifetime, making the reader forget what it was she was even talking about to begin with.

That sentence/paragraph really sums up a lot of what’s going on in this book: whole chapters of ramblings. I found the whole thing exhausting, to be honest. I like to read a book to relax, and this was the least relaxing book I think I’ve ever read. I really wanted to enjoy it, and tried to, but it just didn’t do it for me. Perhaps I’m just particularly impatient and like a book to hook me immediately and make me beg for more, but honestly this novel didn’t even interest me in the slightest.

There was on scene where Charlotte goes to see Mother Superior at the convent. It could have been an opportunity for the character to get help perhaps, but the author chose it as an outlet for the nun to tell her story, which I found to be the most interesting part of the book. Her little talk to Charlotte was in fact the only thing I liked about it. I had to force myself to continue reading this, as I really didn’t want to. The thoughts of reading the next novel on my list is what got me through it. Picking it up, felt like I had an assignment to do for school on a subject I hate, and that’s not a feeling you want when you’re trying to unwind with a book.

I saw the film years ago, and I know you should never judge a book by the movie, which I didn’t, in this case. I found the movie very endearing and I think it succeeded in portraying the characters and the story in a way that viewers would understand and relate to. Whereas I think the book failed to do that here.

I gave it two stars instead of one because, as I said earlier, I understand the concept and what the author was trying to do, (and maybe I wanted to like it so much that I couldn’t bear to give it just one star). In saying that, I won’t be reading this again in a hurry.
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Fact #1: Mermaids came out in 1967.

Fact #2: Mermaids is not about mermaids.

Fact #3: Mermaids was made into a movie starring Cher as Mrs. Flax, the wild mother, Winona Ryder as the older daughter, and Christina Ricci as the younger daughter. Though I haven’t seen the movie, this is the perfect cast for this book, which ought to tell you something.

Guys, this book was strange. Mostly, it was actually a pretty normal YA plotline, not that YA really existed back in the day, when I guess this must have been the shortest adult novel ever, since I don’t imagine it would have been given to children. The Flaxes are a dysfunctional family (is there any other kind?) headed by Mrs. Flax. She’s a single parent, with two girls, Charlotte and Kate, both with different fathers. The family moves constantly, whenever Mrs. Flax’s romance du jour turns south.

Unsurprisingly, Charlotte holds a lot of resentment for Mrs. Flax, which is what she calls her all the time. Children tend, most often to admire their parents and want to be like them or to want to be the total opposite. Charlotte’s the latter sort, only, for her, rebelling means religion, high-necked dresses, and a desire to become a saint (even though her family is Jewish). Her little asides about saints are hilarious and, oh my, how I can picture Winona Ryder being perfection at this. At the same time, though, Charlotte’s actually got a lot in common with her mother, and even feels jealous of her mother’s popularity. Also unsurprising is that Charlotte has some daddy issues. She has a picture of his shoes and hopes to identify him this way (lol, gurl, not happening).

For all the tension between Charlotte and Mrs. Flax, the family’s actually fairly loving overall. Charlotte’s not thrilled about the situation, but she’s also a teen and that tends to go along with moping. Both Charlotte and Mrs. Flax dote on Kate, who ties them together into a family unit. Mrs. Flax’s endless string of affairs has clearly affected Charlotte’s psyche in a really unhealthy way, but she’s not intentionally abusive. Some people just aren’t good parents unfortunately.

Mermaids is about Charlotte transitioning from a girl to a woman, and hoping that the family will finally stay in one place for a while. Fourteen-year-old Charlotte, daddy issues hard at work, crushes hard on twenty-nine-year-old Joe. You guys, I was super not cool with the romance plot or how the ending went freaking bananas, all of which I must spoiler tag. View Spoiler » Go home, book. You’re drunk.

The audiobook was a really pleasant way to read the story, especially since it was only four hours. That took no time at all. (Well, actually, it took 4 hours.) Aaaanyway, I thought Elizabeth Evans did a good job portraying Charlotte, both the naivete and the know-it-all superiority sides of her character. She does a convincing teen voice, without sounding like an older woman trying to sound like a teen.

I would kind of like to watch the movie now, but it’s not on Netflix Watch Instantly. I shall have to see if I can rustle it up somewhere. This was a weird, creepy, and entertaining read. ( )