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Japan Took the J.A.P. Out of Me

door Lisa F Cook

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Six days after an InStyle-worthy wedding in Los Angeles, Lisa Fineberg Cook left behind her little red Jetta, her manicurist of ten years, and her very best friend for the land of the rising sun. When her husband accepted a job teaching English in Nagoya, Japan, she imagined exotic weekend getaways, fine sushi dinners, and sake sojourns with glamorous expatriate friends. Instead, she's the only Jewish girl on public transportation, and everyone is staring. Lisa longs for regular mani/pedis, valet parking, and gimlets with her girlfriends, but for the next year, she learns to cook, clean, commute, and shop like the Japanese, all the while adjusting to another foreign concept -- marriage. Loneliness and frustration give way to new and unexpected friendships, the evolution of old ones, and a fresh understanding of what it means to feel different -- until finally a world she never thought she'd fit into begins to feel home-like, if not exactly like home.… (meer)
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I love memoirs, especially memoirs about traveling to other countries. It started when my Long Distance BFF moved to China for a year. Her blog entries about her adventures were so amazing. The difference between my friend's writing and Lisa Fineberg Cook is the amount of whining from the published author!

J.A.P. stands for Jewish American Princess. I could care less if she was Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, or worshiped Chia pets - Ms. Cook's account of her travels in Japan still make her out to be a spoiled brat. A 30-year-old woman whining that no one was like her and she couldn't get a Kobe beef steak when in Kyoto. It's like Confessions of a Shopaholic without the funny.

I would have given the book two stars but it wasn't a poorly written novel. When Ms. Cook actually talks about Japan and her adventures in Japan, meeting people, working with non-English speakers, figuring out the transportation, and coming face to face with Eastern traditions versus Western traditions, the story is actually good. Not a spoiler because Ms. Cook does constantly remind the reader that she is blonde and tall and Jewish and NOTHING like the Japanese (um, a huge no duh for that), there is a point when you do feel some sadness for her when a co-worker makes fun of her for laughing and not covering her mouth. No one, regardless of tradition wants to be called a cow.

However, there's little growth on Ms. Cook's part in relation to her life in Japan. Throughout the book, as she constantly reminds us of who she is and her perceived caste system in the US and her standing in that caste system, she basically demands that everything be like America. There are times in the book when I can relate. My job requires me to communicate with a lot of people who's English is their second language. The first year on the job it was tough! Bad phone connections and me wishing they would just email me instead of trying to call long distance with the sounds of honking horns and bustling cities in the background. The second year it got a bit easier as I tried to make how I communicated with them more Eng as 2nd Lang (ESL) easier. I turned to my world traveling friend and asked her for help understanding certain things about the people I communicated with.

I just celebrated my third year in the job and I continue to learn patience, refine my approach, and laugh at how silly the whole thing is. But Ms. Cook doesn't ever seem to get that. She just seems, and discusses, how annoyed she is having the burden of having to talk to non-English speakers all day.

It's an okay book but don't buy it. Just get it from the library like I did. ( )
  wendithegray | May 1, 2017 |
Lisa Fineberg Cook’s Japan Took The J.A.P. Out of Me is an entertaining look at one Type-A woman’s quest to make the most of a foreign experience. Peter’s new teaching post means Lisa must leave behind her L.A.-based friendships, family and work for the year they’re abroad. As someone addicted to her regular primping sessions, lunch dates and hobnobbing, Lisa’s introduction to Japanese culture is a little rocky. She doesn’t speak the language, for one, and as a tall, blonde American? Well, let’s just say attracts her fair share of attention. Cook isn’t prepared for the onslaught of changes, but eventually attempts to make the most of her time away outside the U.S.

Despite the skewering it’s taken, I have to tell you: I really liked this book. It was my constant companion in the days until I finished it, and I loved Cook’s glimpses at a culture so entirely different from my American way of life. Broken down into chapters regarding seemingly “simple” tasks, like laundry and eating out, Cook’s battles to master things that came naturally in the U.S. really got me thinking. I’ve traveled a bit in other countries and love peeking at how others live, but to actually move there? It was brave. And bold. And really cool.

Does Lisa occasionally act like a spoiled brat? Sure. Does her pinched-nose annoyance with foreign culture become grating? Sometimes. It’s hard to believe someone so averse to living abroad actually moves abroad, but hey — we all do crazy things for love. And Lisa makes no bones about the way she feels for Peter, even getting into the nitty-gritty of doing “dirty” American things in their Japanese living arrangements. We know they’re in love and they’re going to thrive or fall together. I liked the vulnerable parts of their nacent marriage she let us see, and I loved that she never tried to be perfect — or describe it that way.

And here’s what makes Lisa a likable heroine: she’s aware of her faults and doesn’t take herself too seriously. Though some have deemed it "shallow," I gently beg to differ: Cook is a self-proclaimed J.A.P. (Jewish American Princess), so her misadventures on public transportation and fending for herself in a world where everything is foreign takes on extra meaning. She admits she’s been spoiled and sheltered. And she’s trying to change that. Maybe it takes a while, but that was all right with me. I was invested — and along for the ride.

If you’re looking for a deep look at life for expatriates doin’ their thing in Nagoya, this probably isn’t for you. Lisa is often more interested in finding a good hairdresser and manicurist than becoming culturally enriched, but that didn’t bother me. She does offer insights into Japanese culture through an American lens, though they were pretty superficial. Still, I found her hilarious and charming, and Japan Took The J.A.P. Out of Me was a delightful read.

For chick lit lovers and armchair travelers, this is one delicious bento box of fun. (Mmmm, bento.) ( )
  writemeg | May 14, 2012 |
I was so excited when my review copy of JAPAN TOOK THE J.A.P. OUT OF ME by Lisa Fineberg Cook arrived. As an armchair traveler, I love reading about people's experiences in other countries, the more exotic the better. And the twist of this memoir -- that the author, a self-described Jewish American Princess loses her royal crown while living abroad -- promised to make this book an entertaining read.

I'm happy to say that I was not disappointed. In fact, I appreciated this memoir on a level I totally did not anticipate. I really didn't expect that I would ever be able to identify with anyone who would be described as a "princess," but I found that many of the author's reactions to her foreign circumstances were not so foreign to me! For example, I hate being the center of attention and feeling that all eyes are on me, especially out in public. Most of the time I tell myself that no one is really paying attention to me and just get on with my business. After all, no one likes being stared at. But for our intrepid Princess Lisa, all eyes really ARE on her! As a tall blond woman in a world of small dark-haired people, she becomes something of a spectacle just by stepping outside her door. Spoiled she may be, but this sort of celebrity attention is not something she is used to or desires.

For all her whining about having to figure out how to do her own laundry and cooking and being reduced to using public transportation, Princess Lisa plunges in and carries on. During her first year in Japan, she actually confronts several versions of culture shock: the most obvious is as an American living in a foreign country with it's different viewpoints and customs. Secondly, this is also her first year of marriage, and that requires adjustments and compromises in an uncharted territory that would challenge anyone. And thirdly, she discovers the vast landscape of her own character. In the past, she may have enjoyed her pampered existence, but she takes pride in learning to fend for herself -- and laugh at herself.

JAPAN TOOK THE J.A.P. OUT OF ME was an enjoyable read and a fun little escape. I enjoyed the author's light writing style and her ability to poke fun at herself. And if she sometimes sounds childish in her complaints about the lifestyle she has taken on, she also possesses an almost childlike wonder and ability to have fun.

"Tokyo rocks. I love it. Everything moves incredibly fast and the lights and sounds collide colorfully, creating a kind of benevolent Blade Runner atmosphere. It happens to be raining this weekend, which adds to the allure as live-action billboards glisten throughout the Ginza district. When we come to the famous four corners crosswalk, which is as wide and long as an L.A. city park, we stand on the curb for several minutes waiting for the light to change, and I look at the bright neon puddles and smile at my husband." p. 79

I want to read more from this author -- what was her second year in Japan like? How did she adjust to life back in the States? What is her life like now? Oops! Am I staring? ( )
  MissMermaid118 | Sep 15, 2011 |
Japan Took The JAP Out of Me By Lisa Fineberg Cook is a memoir about a woman who lives in Japan for a year. She's a stereotypical Jewish American Princess, which is definitely not a bad thing, but it makes for some funny culture show moments.I thought Lisa was intriguing, in America, she's a social studies teacher which is definitely a plus. I felt she was honest, she didn't shy away from saying things which may be politically incorrect, she was upfront about sex, and upfront about her discomfort with living somewhere foreign. I value that sort of honesty in a memoir-writer, especially since many memoirs I come across the author seems to be wearing rose-tinted glasses when it comes to self-reflection and examination. I definitely thought it was interesting to walk a mile in Lisa's shoes.My favorite part of the whole book is when Lisa goes out to the bar with her new Japanese friend, it was SO funny. I also enjoyed the parts where she wrote about her relationship with her husband Peter, who seems quite adorable.If you are squeamish about sex, don't read this book, as Cook is rather frank about what is going on in her bed. ( )
  booksandwine | Oct 7, 2010 |
This memoir of a self-described pampered Jewish American Princess who marries the man of her dreams and immediately moves to Japan for his two year teaching job is an interesting look at culture clash and the sometimes difficult adjustment to married life. Cook is generally light and flippant about her experiences in Japan although she does touch on a few deeper issues here and there, mentioning the treatment and perception of women, the anti-Semitic movement in Japan, the evolution of long-standing friendships, and the every day challenge of living with another person.

Separated into sections headed by generally mundane domestic tasks, Cook uses the challenges she faced doing laundry in a small, ineffective, and completely foreign washing machine, shopping in the overwhelming, neon-lit shops, and mastering public transportation, to name just a few, to highlight her ex-pat experience. Her frustrations with tackling things differently than she is used to comes through the text loud and clear. And she is not only having to learn all of this in a foreign country where she doesn't speak the language, but she has to come to a sense of acceptance of herself as the person who will cook, clean, and sew. Eventually she does take on a group of Japanese women for English conversation lessons, teaches at a school, and gives well-received speeches but she never seems particularly happy living in Japan, not even allowing herself to open up completely for friendship with the one fellow teacher who shares her interest in films.

As much of an adjustment as it was for this tall blond woman to move to Japan, sticking out like a sore thumb, it is as much of an adjustment for her to adjust to married life. She doesn't think to call her husband when she is going to be very, very late, not understanding how frantic that will make him. They argue about how they will spend their money, cash or credit. But these and other petty squabbles are learning experiences that serve to make them closer in the end.

Also woven throughout the narrative is Cook's friendship with her best friend at home and the changes that it undergoes with the two of them living so far apart. In many of the exchanges between the two, Cook comes off as fairly self-centered, unhappy with living in Japan and wanting to vent but not reciprocating when her friend needs to discuss her shaky marriage or her own unhappiness.

Cook does grow as a person throughout this first year of their planned two years in Japan although I never did get the impression that she much liked Japan or the Japanese people. She connected with a few people but never more than superficially. And while she understood that she was trying to impose her idea of correct behaviour and cultural norms on them (as they were on her), there was never a sense that she came to understand and accept their norms as different but equal to hers. Her adjustment to marriage was a much smoother path and one more flexible in terms of give and take. Her husband, who had lived abroad before, seemed very understanding and compassionate with regard to all the life changes being thrown at her at once.

Overall this was a fast and mildly entertaining book. There were some cliches offered and some awkward transitions in the middle of the chapters but in general, for those readers not looking for an in depth exploration of Japanese culture or of a Western experience in Japan, most people will find this a light and fun read. ( )
  whitreidtan | Oct 29, 2009 |
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Six days after an InStyle-worthy wedding in Los Angeles, Lisa Fineberg Cook left behind her little red Jetta, her manicurist of ten years, and her very best friend for the land of the rising sun. When her husband accepted a job teaching English in Nagoya, Japan, she imagined exotic weekend getaways, fine sushi dinners, and sake sojourns with glamorous expatriate friends. Instead, she's the only Jewish girl on public transportation, and everyone is staring. Lisa longs for regular mani/pedis, valet parking, and gimlets with her girlfriends, but for the next year, she learns to cook, clean, commute, and shop like the Japanese, all the while adjusting to another foreign concept -- marriage. Loneliness and frustration give way to new and unexpected friendships, the evolution of old ones, and a fresh understanding of what it means to feel different -- until finally a world she never thought she'd fit into begins to feel home-like, if not exactly like home.

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