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Paul Is Undead

door Alan Goldsher

Andere auteurs: Zie de sectie andere auteurs.

Reeksen: The British Zombie Invasion (1)

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18015151,003 (3.12)24
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO REALLY MEET THE BEATLES. For John Lennon, a young, idealistic zombie guitarist with dreams of global domination, Liverpool seems the ideal place to form a band that could take over the world. In an inspired act, Lennon kills and reanimates local rocker Paul McCartney, kicking off an unstoppable partnership. With the addition of newly zombified guitarist George Harrison and drummer/Seventh Level Ninja Lord Ringo Starr, the Beatles soon cut a swath of bloody good music and bloody violent mayhem across Europe, America, and the entire planet. In this searing oral history, discover how the Fab Four climbed to the Toppermost of the Poppermost while stealing the hearts, ears, and brains of smitten teenage girls. Learn the tale behind a spiritual journey that resulted in the dismemberment of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Marvel at the seemingly indestructible quartet's survival of a fierce attack by Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. And find out how the boys escaped eternal death at the hands of England's greatest zombie hunter, Mick Jagger. Through all this, one mystery remains: Can the Beatles sublimate their hunger for gray matter, remain on top of the charts, and stay together for all eternity? After all, three of the Fab Four are zombies, and zombies live forever. . . .… (meer)
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Taking place in an alternative reality that is very much like our own, with the exception that zombies and vampires are a part of the population, The Beatles are still an iconic band of the 60's and early 70's. The major differences are that though they broke up, they are all still around because they are, with the exception of Ringo, zombies. Ringo is a ninja, and he was chosen to be their drummer because the others felt they needed to have at least one living member to be palatable to the audiences, what with their fingers tending to fall off during guitar solos, and they wanted someone with the skills to fight, because not everyone likes zombies.
This is the story of the rise of a "zombie" band, which angers the band The Zombies so much that their singer stalks The Beatles and regrets it. Mick Jagger also follows The Beatles, but that's because he's a trained zombie killer. And Roy Orbison is some kind of galactic creature whose sunglasses are tempering his mighty power. Yoko is a higher level ninja than Ringo.

The story is wild, and some passages are funny. I found the style, that of events being gone over from multiple angles as an investigative reporter interviews everyone involved in the band's history, to make the story drag quite a bit. It isn't what's being said, it's having to keep who's speaking straight because it jumps from character to character so much. But a pretty outrageous tale. ( )
  mstrust | Jan 9, 2023 |
This was a great book to read. It was fun to read about the Beatles as Zombies and a Ninja. The changes that were made to the life of the Beatles was funny and actually made you think about how life really would have been if they had been that way. Great read. ( )
  LVStrongPuff | Nov 29, 2018 |
This was an absolutely fun book. I am a big fan of The Beatles and the entire time that I read the book I could hear the voices of the Beatles actually speaking the parts..LOL. The book is set up where the paragraphs tell who the statements are coming from. This is a great read for a Beatles fan with a warped sense of humor. ( )
  MzKitty | Sep 18, 2016 |
As a fan of both zombies and the Beatles, when I became aware of a book which brought the two together, I had to give it a read. Of course, I knew that Paul is Undead wouldn't be shortlisted for any Booker Prizes any time soon, but I hoped it would provide a few laughs. Unfortunately, despite my goodwill, it failed to reach even these modest expectations. The book isn't funny or clever, and it shambles along awkwardly like a... well, like a zombie.

The book does have one or two amusing moments (Mick Jagger's Recite your discography, mortal!" bit was funny), but these raise light smiles betraying mild amusement, rather than genuine laughs. It is obvious that Goldsher is trying too hard to be funny and, as everyone knows, there is nothing quite so painfully unfunny as someone trying to be funny. Most of the text is so bland that at times it's hard to know if what is being said is even meant to be a joke. (Is "all for zombies, and zombies for all" meant to be a recurring joke? I don't even know.) A couple of the jokes are also in bad taste: Goldsher makes light of both the real-life attempt on George Harrison's life in 1999 (on pg. 39) and of John Lennon's murder (pp1-2). Yes, if the real-life John Lennon could have been reanimated "for the 263rd time" after Mark David Chapman's attack, one might be able to make light of it. Using the actual words of the newsflash bulletin announcing Lennon's assassination ("An unspeakable tragedy confirmed to us... the most famous, perhaps, of all the Beatles..." ) was also a classless move. Goldsher's characters also have an annoying tendency to garnish every sentence with the word 'fook' or 'fookin'', which makes the world's most famous Scousers sound like Yorkshiremen down at t' mill. Goldsher clearly has no problem with swearing (he uses the word 'cunt' liberally here, and uses the proper spelling of 'fuck' on occasion), which makes his decision to use 'fook' even stranger.

The Beatles themselves are unlike any other zombies in fiction (not in a unique, genre-busting way, but in a bland, 'I'm-making-this-up-as-I-go-along' way). They talk like normal humans, but can detach and reattach body parts at will. They have psychic powers like hypnosis and telekinesis, and can only be killed by diamond bullets. Most stupidly, the means of becoming a zombie is to have a zombie bite your neck and lick (yes, lick) your brain stem fluid with an unreasonably dexterous tongue. Goldsher's descriptions of this, which he calls the 'Liverpool Process', read like a instruction book for an arts and crafts workshop (make the incision here, remove this here, seal it up here... and here's one I made earlier...). As if that wasn't enough stupidity, Mick Jagger the zombie hunter (yeah, that's right) defeats his prey by kissing them on the chest (it resurrects their heart and makes them mortal again, apparently). All told, the 'zombies' are like a crude, poorly-executed hybrid of zombie, werewolf and vampire.

Even if Goldsher's zombies weren't disappointing, it is still clear that the zombie trope doesn't fit well with the Beatles' story. Zombies are an innumerable, lobotomised mass of shambling corpses; the Beatles were a vibrant, innovative rock band. The two concepts just don't mesh. If, like myself, your first thought upon hearing about Paul is Undead was "What? How can they make a story out of that?", then you will finish the book thinking the same thing. The zombies aren't true zombies and, even more disappointingly, the Beatles aren't the Beatles. The book is told in an interview style but Goldsher fails to convince that any of his characters are anything like their real-life counterparts, beyond the superficial (i.e. John the headstrong leader, Paul the PR-conscious diplomat, George the dark horse and Ringo the scrappy). John's parts don't sound like John, Paul's don't sound like Paul's, etc. And I highly doubt George Harrison would utter the phrase "Looky, looky, Parnesy went wee-wee." (pg. 51). I know he was the youngest of the group, but he wasn't a toddler. For someone who claims to be a Beatles fanatic, it is disappointing that Goldsher fails completely to provide a convincing portrayal of how the Fab Four would actually act. All the characters sound the same; that is, they all sound like Goldsher (even Queen Elizabeth II, who makes a brief appearance, speaks in Americanised English slang, rather than, you know, the Queen's English). With Paul is Undead, Goldsher tries to mix The Beatles Anthology with Max Brooks' World War Z. An interesting concept. Unfortunately, he fails completely." ( )
  MikeFutcher | Jun 3, 2016 |
Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion by Alan Goldsher looks at an alternate history of the Beatles, one where John Lennon is a zombie. After reanimating Paul McCartney, the form a band and hatch a plan.

It sounds like a great set-up for a zombie novel. Except — it has to fall into the pseudo documentary trap. Rather than just getting a funny, off the cuff narrative of a pair of zombies trying to conquer the world through their music, we get a series of DRY, BORING, interviews with anyone vaguely associated with the band.

I read (skimmed, really) this one around the same time I was suffering through Abraham Lincoln, Zombie Killer by Seth Grahame-Smith. I didn't like that one either. So now I've sworn off all zombie books that are presented in a pseudo documentary format. If I see another faux interview or memoir, I will scream.

For those, though, that did like the book, it's being turned into a movie and there's a sequel: Give Death a Change. Thanks, I'll pass. ( )
  pussreboots | Apr 7, 2015 |
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» Andere auteurs toevoegen

AuteursnaamRolType auteurWerk?Status
Alan Goldsherprimaire auteuralle editiesberekend
Vance, SimonVertellerSecundaire auteursommige editiesbevestigd

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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO REALLY MEET THE BEATLES. For John Lennon, a young, idealistic zombie guitarist with dreams of global domination, Liverpool seems the ideal place to form a band that could take over the world. In an inspired act, Lennon kills and reanimates local rocker Paul McCartney, kicking off an unstoppable partnership. With the addition of newly zombified guitarist George Harrison and drummer/Seventh Level Ninja Lord Ringo Starr, the Beatles soon cut a swath of bloody good music and bloody violent mayhem across Europe, America, and the entire planet. In this searing oral history, discover how the Fab Four climbed to the Toppermost of the Poppermost while stealing the hearts, ears, and brains of smitten teenage girls. Learn the tale behind a spiritual journey that resulted in the dismemberment of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Marvel at the seemingly indestructible quartet's survival of a fierce attack by Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. And find out how the boys escaped eternal death at the hands of England's greatest zombie hunter, Mick Jagger. Through all this, one mystery remains: Can the Beatles sublimate their hunger for gray matter, remain on top of the charts, and stay together for all eternity? After all, three of the Fab Four are zombies, and zombies live forever. . . .

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