Great book. I do think it should have been a memoir, something like "What autism is like for us" because it would have solved some of the issues you see in other reviews.. but anyway I love it. It's probably quite basic if you've been into your neuruodiversity for a while, but there are so many little details about the day to day life of one autistic person and her friends and it's really well written and I just love it. It's funny; I agree with all the other reviews, including the negative ones (although not that she's bitter).. and I still love it.

Some observations:

- Functioning labels. If it's important to draw this distinction (which it usually isn't) it's better to say someone who has more support needs vs someone who has fewer support needs. But your support needs can change completely from day to day or decade to decade, so it's a bit misleading even at that.

- Mix of person first and identity first language.. as well as nouning.. what's that called? Plus that awful awful phrase: ASD

- The term Asperger's has its origin in eugenics (I'm over-simplifying) and 11 years ago especially there were still echos of that in how the word Asperger's was used as opposed to Autistic, there is no sign of that in this book and Asperger's and Autistic are used interchangeably :)

- Gendered: This book was published 11 years ago, I think it's easy to forget how far we've come since then in terms of knowledge and understanding and recognition. Let's celebrate that

- Unscientific: Bits of alternative medicine are peppered throughout the book and then there's a chapter on it. Again, if it had been more like a memoir no one would have minded. But the unconditional love bit is 100% scientific, I tell you! ( )

This is a very interesting and in some ways very useful book about high-functioning autism--or, as was still the officially accepted but already challenged label at the time of original publication, Asperger's syndrome--in girls and women.

There's a lot here about how under-diagnosed autism has been and still is in girls, compared to boys. It's very much grounded in Simone's personal experience, and her interviews with an unknown number of women and girls with Asperger's diagnoses. It's interesting and informative, in terms of how high-functioning autism can be both a genuinely different experience for females than males, and also less recognized in females because of different expectations that society has for women and girls vs. men and boys.

Yet, the anecdotal approach has real limitations, too. Rudy Simone doesn't have the scientific orientation of Dr. Camilla Pang, another autistic woman who has written about autism, and one consequence is that this book does not have the broader and deeper grounding of Pang's Explaining Humans:What Science Can Teach Us about Life, Love and Relationships. Simone doesn't seem to have looked at the experiences of women and girls who aren't a great deal like her, making this book, to use a term that I honestly never anticipated using in a book review, extremely cisheteronormative. (Not because there's anything wrong with the term; just because I'm a white cis woman in my sixties for whom many of the terminology that comes from greater awareness of intersectionality and its importance feel strange and alien to me, even though the ideas they express feel very right.) Most of the discussion of relationships in this book did not even in passing consider that some autistic/Asperger's women might not be white, might not be straight, might possibly be transgender. That last omission might be due to the original publication date, in 2010, when there was less open discussion of transgender issues--or the belief that there was less discussion of transgender issues may be a sign of the bubble I was living in on that subject, ten years ago. In 2020, though, it really stands out as a blind spot.

There is a lot of good, sensible advice here for teens and tweens and their parents dealing with these issues. That's the area where it's most helpful and valuable. It's less useful for adults, although the encouragement to pursue a diagnosis and meaningful help, if it seems appropriate, even in later life, is good.

Yet Simone seems to generalize far too much from her own personal experience, and not check in with the science and the data nearly enough.

Moreover, there's a distressing amount of what I call woo-woo. Simone believes that autistics may have psychic powers. No, seriously. Much of the anecdotal evidence she cites sounds to me a lot more like survival-based learning to read body language in other people, whether consciously or not. She's also quite taken with the idea that autism may be caused by digestive system problems. She conducts her own tiny (ten people), uncontrolled "study" with a food supplement for which the makers claim near-miraculous effects.

It's an interesting book, but a very mixed bag. I did really enjoy the first half of it or so, up to about chapter seven, but after that it seems to go off the deep end.

Still, it was an interesting listen, and there is good, practical advice for teens and tweens, and their parents.

I bought this audiobook. ( )

Highly anecdotal, and sometimes a little woo-woo (touching on psychic powers and ayurveda) but interesting. ( )

What a beautiful, entertaining and informative piece of literature!

I really enjoyed going through this book, not only for its light nature and smoothness, but also for the important and captivating subject it includes.
Simone tackled a sensitive, not very known but very important topic in this book which is Asperger Syndrome.
To be quite frank, up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea such a thing even existed, but when I did I immediately started Aspergirls, and it really helped me understand the nature of Asperger, how it can manifest and how to deal with people who have it.
I feel like I have better understanding of the syndrome after reading this. And while I do not claim to be any sort of expert, I can confidently say that from now on I would know how to deal with people with AS.

All in all, this was such an interesting read and I highly recommend it to everyone with any amount of interest in mental health. ( )

So I'm fairly certain I have Aspergers (autism spectrum disorder), although I haven't gotten the official testing done yet. This was an interesting read. There were a lot of relatable parts, though some parts I definitely see more in other people. For example, there was a big emphasis on meltdowns, which aren't a thing I recognize myself having (although maybe they appear differently than I expect them to), so that made me doubt myself. Also, although she generally acknowledged that symptoms are on a spectrum, there were times where she referred to things as kind of universal (like saying that all Aspergirls react very strongly to any medication or anything artificial - I avoid as much as I can taking anything, but not because my body responds to it). It did give me a good perspective on a few other people in my life who are likely on the spectrum and didn't suspect it, and I've recommended this book to quite a few people. The chart in the back (also shared on her website), is a good place to start and get an idea of whether you might be on the spectrum. ( )