Dianna Vagianos Armentrout

Writer, poet, therapist and researcher, Dianna Vagianos Armentrout offers a poignant and realistic view of life and death as she shares the grief of losing a newborn child in Walking the labyrinth of my heart.

The author knew for months that her baby would not live. It gives an interesting perspective—to carry a life that is somehow defective, wondering who or what to blame, and receiving in answer the uncertainties of medicine. As the author so poignantly says, “It is very difficult to live with pregnancy and infant loss in our hyper-electronic, fast-paced, death-fearing American culture.” In her pregnancy journal, she describes her choice not to terminate the pregnancy, and her curiosity about how her dying child is growing. Flowers and church make her “sadder.” Books about having an angel instead of a baby depress her even more. Her Qigong teacher tells her to “let go of all expectations,” but she is expecting, and so she thinks of Mary, “her womb holding God.”

Readers of many spiritual backgrounds and religious persuasions will find much food for thought in this book. Those facing the same sense of loss will find a friend walking beside them—no trite answers, no judgment, no “spend time with the baby before it dies” over-simplifications—this book offers honest complexities and sorrow. But throughout, the author knows her child is alive; she has a soul and a reason to be. And she invites readers to ponder both.

Essays and blog posts follow the path of grieving and praying, faith and miracles, fate and karma, and even politics. Drawing on backgrounds as far apart as Greek mythology and Catholic catechism, each essay stands alone, smoothly written and smiting to the heart. It’s impossible to read this book without being drawn into deeper thought about faith, science, morality and more. Is abortion the same as refusing life support, or faith the same as demanding a miracle?

Birthing a dying child has many complications, not all of them emotional. The author walks her readers through each step of a complex path, negotiating with doctors and hospitals, learning how to stop a mother’s milk, hiring a doula, negotiating pitfalls of social media and unsocial responses, bringing up the name of the dead, and understanding death. At the same time, the author never attempts to persuade her readers; other choices will be equally valid; each choice is personal and unique.

Giving birth to a dying child is like “standing on the threshold of the worlds,” birthing a soul into or out of this world, accepting “the bramble and the rose.” I am glad it’s not something I’ve ever done. But I am glad as well to have read this book. The writing is smooth, like listening to a wise counsellor. The poetry is haunting and enticing. The story is honest, the wisdom gentle and far-reaching, and the “art of grieving” is a lesson all should learn.

Disclosure: I was given an ecopy and I offer my honest review.… (meer)

This is a quick but informative and touching read.

This is a true story of the experience the author experienced with the devastating pregnancy and loss of her second child and only daughter.

In this book, she offers advise to those who have lost children during pregnancy and in the early years.

She addresses the various stages of grief, the painful funeral planning, an explanation of Trisomy 18 & 13, and shares the journal she kept during he pregnancy.

She states the importance of respecting each woman's choice concerning pregnancy. Having made the choice of using midwifery and homeopathic remedies, she received much criticism but found them best for her and her baby.

In her book, she,also, offers advise of what not to say to those in similar circumstances.

Using her talents in writing touching poetry and essays. she concludes her story.

I do feel thee was too much repetition and wordiness.
# This book was gifted me, seeking an honest review. This is my honest review… (meer)