Cyrus Dunham

It is a story and a memoir, so I give it the three stars for credit that it was written in the way it should have been correctly. I will be the first to admit I do not understand transgender, and homosexuality, but is this book supposed to represent the story of many? If I am so inclined to believe this is the typical experience, there was a lot of experimenting with sexuality, with no definite answers to what was right or wrong for Cyrus Grace. Monogamy was not a theme; however, open ended relationships were. The character portrays itself as very wishy-washy. Even at the very end, after surgery, he/she was telling the recovery room people to use the name Grace instead of Cyrus. The fact that both names were kept does not show a definite swing toward wanting to be one sex. I understand that is the definition of transgender, but if that is a choice that is right for an individual, why so many swings in emotions and ways to react, like which bathroom to use? It is one thing to change one's sex for what one may feel is more closely aligned with what one feels. But to NOT be able to make a selection, even with surgery to enhance it, describes a very confused person who should have undergone a lot of therapy before taking a huge decision. I know the author thinks that the parents were supportive, but I honestly think that they didn't give a care. Because good or bad, parents have beliefs that they usually share with their children, and that was not noted in this story. I think there is a huge distinction between "kinky" and "abhorrent". Those who read this and think the way I do will understand with some of the thought processes shared in this story. Since I don't want to debate, nor have people attack me for what I feel, I will just leave it at that.… (meer)

This is a fantastic memoir about finding yourself and battling yourself along the way. The author will bounce between the present, flashbacks, previous relationships, and so forth. While this may be confusing and is why I rated it 4/5 stars, this is actually an incredible writing technique that adds to Dunham's voice. By doing this the reader is immersed in the thoughts and process of the author. For example, when you are recounting events organically in your brain, or even aloud, you do not often explain the connection or even the fact that you are recalling something that happened 5 years ago versus 5 weeks ago. This may seem confusing at first but it adds the memoir quite a bit once you get the hang of it. Doing this puts you in the shoe of the author in a way that is not always executed in the text but is often used in real conversations.

Dunham's voice and internal monologuing battles change through the memoir as well. This is completely appropriate as they changed through the memoir as well. They will go from one sentence immediately to the next battling themselves. Knowing that they want to be masculine while being told from childhood that femininity is something that should be cherished. These battling back to back sentences are very present at the start of the memoir and slowly diminish as the author is also slowly diminishing their inner battle of self-identity.… (meer)

A painful, heartfelt memoir of a young person struggling with identity. I've read several books in this area because it fascinates me. I had never heard of gender queer or gender confusion until recently. Personally, I am cisgender (another term new to me) and married for 45 years, but I am striving to understand. My Unitarian Universalist faith encourages us to accept everyone, regardless of their gender identity or who someone loves.

This brief book is highly personal and intimate and should help others struggling with this issue.… (meer)