Gina Gomez

I can see how this book would be helpful to some people in certain circumstances, but I just found it rigid and stale. It was written in a very black-and-white manner with a lot of "(number)s are..." and "they will...". It doesn't take into account how being raised in different cultures and religions impact personality and values, nor does it take into account how disability can affect people's outlook on life and what they value. I ended up skimming this book after the first couple of chapters, as I was not getting much out of it.… (meer)

I am an enneagram fan (9w1 for you enneagram nerds), and this is the fourth or fifth book I've read on the topic. Gomez gives a brief, but helpful overview of the system, and a quiz and type descriptions to help pinpoint which number you most relate to. The heart of the book, though, are detailed sections pairing up each type and looking at how they relate to each other in the home, in a romantic relationship, and at work. By discussing how the types live/love/work in harmony, where their challenges come up, and how they can work together to resolve conflict, Gomez brings studying the enneagram beyond just understanding your own personality and motivations and shines a light on how all us wild different personality types are bumping into, supporting, reacting, and relating to each other.

Gomez, like many other authors, warns against trying to guess what other people's types might be, although unless you can get your family, romantic partner, and co-workers to jump into the enneagram world (which is a tough sell), you kind of have to at least take a stab at typing them (in my view, my husband is ABSOLUTELY a 4, btw) if you want to really dig into her text. If only one side of these relationships is looking at this tool, it also makes it hard to put her advice for resolving conflict into action, although even with that, her ability to frame how the different types react and interact is helpful in giving a foundation to understanding these relationships.

Gomez has a clear and straightforward writing style that (for the most part) avoids the trap of saying the same thing over and over again, which is a pitfall in any book that treads through the same topic for all these types and pairs. She doesn't simplify things so much that they lose their power, and avoids easily instagramed or cutesy phrasing and advice. She also avoids strongly gendering any of her advice or descriptions, which is a plus in a world of enneagram books that are often very feminized.

For me, The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso is still a good starting place if you are trying to learn more about the system and your type, but this is a great addition for someone who wants to dig into the enneagram more deeply and understand how it plays out in our everyday interactions.… (meer)