Angelyn Miller

For such a very short book (100 pages) a lot gets said. The pattern of neediness and dependency can exist well outside of alcohol or drug use. And some traumatic event in a family, a chronic illness, physical or mental, can catapult a family into this dysfunctional mode. The essence of Miller's message is that the best thing you can do for everyone around you is attend to your own life--not selfishly by ignoring your responsibilities and relationships--but mindfully. If someone close to you needs help, best to take a moment and stop and think, "Am I really helping? Or am I tying that person to me by doing things for them, so they will need me? Can they do this for themselves?" Therefore setting boundaries and limits around what you will do for another then letting the other person struggle with the rest, painful as that can be, must be done. Well worth reading even if you don't think you have a problem being either enabling or dependent. Totally worth recommending to anyone who suddenly has to deal with a family member or close friend who has been injured badly or suffered severe depression, or some emotional crisis so that they really DO need your help for awhile. Particularly helpful to caregivers. *****… (meer)