I definitely enjoyed reading this, as in I stayed up until 1:30 in the morning trying to finish it (I did not succeed).

1. It was way too long. A third of the yakking could have been cut out and it would have still been a good story.
2. Despite the extreme length, the ending was a little rushed. How is this possible?
3. While it was written competently, it could have used a little more polishing up. A few misspellings and grammar boo-boos, nothing too egregious, some of the spelling bits could have been formatting issues, as it was often letters dropped from the end of words.
4. There were too many unnecessary p.o.v's and narration shifts. I couldn't always tell who I was reading. And the secondary character views didn't add anything to the story.

However, I did like a lot about the story too.
1. Scott, the gay best friend, wasn't The Gay Best Friend.
2. The friendships between the dudes seemed authentic.
3. Dan was an actual nice guy, just an occasionally misguided, drunk slut, and I bought his transformation. I definitely appreciated that his decision and desire to change wasn't initially prompted by Alex (even if she was later a factor).
4. Australia sounds awesome? As in, yes it sounds legitimately awesome, but some of the slang I didn't get. That's cool though, I used the internet.

I liked this enough to not regret having spent money on it. That doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement, but considering how often I finish a book and wish I could build a time capsule so I can get back my time and money, it's pretty high praise.… (meer)

Gemarkeerd

wonderlande | 3 andere besprekingen | Jan 1, 2023 |

Desk Jockey Jam door Ainslie Paton

Ant's transformation was not quite believable, but that's often a failing of short stories/novellas. Bree goes from "I must stay away from this boy" to sticking her hand in his pants so quickly and with little warning.

I approve of the feminist messages, but again, the about-face from both mc's was too fast. But roller derby is awesome.

Oh, and boy did this book need some serious editing.

Gemarkeerd

wonderlande | 1 andere bespreking | Jan 1, 2023 |

White Balance door Ainslie Paton

Needs a lot of editing, for both grammar carnage and extreme length. Story was fine enough but was so bogged down by all the little details that it I just didn't care. I barely skimmed the last 5 chapters.

Gemarkeerd

wonderlande | Jan 1, 2023 |