Kathleen Pooler

Ever Faithful To His Lead: My Journey Away From Emotional Abuse. The book opens with Kathy realizing, after three years of marriage, that something was very wrong. She looked into the cold, glaring eyes and felt his hot breath on her face. She wondered how the man who once seemed like the answer to her prayers had slowly turned into an angry stranger. Furthermore, he showed no signs of changing. She wanted to believe his promises, the way many of us do with our mate, until reality hits us like a stun gun. Then, as numerous women before, we look back and notice that the red flags were there all along, but, because of our desperate need for love, we unwisely chose to ignore the signs.

Then Kathy backs up and shows us a glimpse into her growing up years, along with photographs.
Kathy grew up with a loving and stable family. Her parents had been high school sweethearts. When her mom told stories of how they fell in love, Kathy was mesmerized. She dreamed of finding a man who would care for her like her own father loved and cared for her mother. She wanted to find her own “Prince Charming.”

One day she met a tall, likable man whose broad smile warmed her heart. Was he the prince she'd been waiting for? Their relationship moved so fast. He asked her to marry him. She never even entertained the idea that her feelings of discomfort were warning signs. Even when uncertainly washed over her. Even when he picked her up for a date with the strong stench of alcohol filling the car. Even when a friend said, “You don't have to marry him.”

She didn't listen. She didn't call off the wedding.

He was tender and loving, when he was sober. She told herself it would get better. It didn't. Not even after two children. Then came the final straw, her world crumbled and she filed for a divorce.

Single again. Her master's degree in nursing enabled her to land a job. She went through a few years of struggles, healing, and a series of sporadic dating. But no one serious. Until she met the man who sent her heart fluttering. His voice was smooth with a touch of a Southern drawl. It had been a long time since she felt excited about a man. The attraction was mutual. Kathy had hope for a second chance at love. After a few weeks they were married.

But new hope turned into a reign of terror. Kathy shows true courage to do what she thinks is best, for the safety of herself and her children. This is a must read. I couldn't put it down and look for more great books from Kathy.… (meer)

Having known Kathy Pooler for some years now and exchanging writing ideas via Internet, phone and blogs as well as assisting Kathy as a beta reader for her memoir, I am unable to give an unbiased review.

However, I am able to tell you that from vignettes written here and there, Kathy has pulled together a stellar written work which not only tells her story honestly but also provides hope for others walking the same path.

Kathy's growing up was parented by a loving couple who always appeared happy and stable. Members of the Catholic faith, service above all else was the message passed on to their children. Hence, Kathy's interest in nursing and her compassion for others.

Kathy dreamed of that perfect marriage, just like mom and dad's. Yet choices made in her first two marriages did not play out like the perfect image Kathy saw in her dreams. Concerned with her own safety and that of her children, Kathy left her first husband and promised herself to make a better choice next time. And yet once again that did not happen.

During these trials, Kathy worked hard both on the job and in advancing her education while still maintaining her role as a mother to her daughter and son. She continued to dream her dream of a good husband.

Soon Kathy begins to see what choices she needs to make in order to bring her life into focus and find happiness. From this decision came the title for Kathy's memoir.

I highly recommend Kathy's memoir to anyone living in an abusive situation, with or without children, and to anyone who has a son or daughter in an abusive relationship. While we as parents are not always able to say what we feel to our adult children, Kathy's book will give you an understanding of how to cope as your adult child works through these problems and signs you can watch for to know what is happening.

DISCLAIMER: I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for a fair and honest review. The opinions expressed are solely my own.… (meer)