Aaronette M. White

***WHY A MAYBE***
I once read a article that said that African-American fathers were more involved with their children when separated with the mother than the WASP's. The article had a undertone of amazement. Which I found a bit strange. Of course they were. I tried to explain it to my partner (who is light-skinned and part of the majority in my country) why I thought it weird that it was such a 'surprising' revelation. He bought into the stereotype that men from the islands (in our case the ABC Islands) were unfaithful and couldn't commit if their life depend upon it. And my aunts were always complaining about that too so why wasn't I surprised by that?

If you look at the history of slavery one of the things that is often overlooked today is that slaves couldn't marry or stay together as a family. And that became sort of a culture in itself. Men are 'unfaithful' today because for a long time they couldn't be anything else. The reason why they want to be involved with their children (even if it's barely doing the minimum to today's standards) is because they can now. At least that's my take. And if you combine that with feminism. Well. In my experience. Black men always knows that the women could and can do shit. That we can take care of ourselves. They are raised by women who showed them that they would survive even without a spouse. Without them. Which can be a problem on it own. Because what are they good for then?

But that isn't to say that they aren't sexist. But the difference between walking in a group of Caribbean men is that they expect me to take care of myself. If they are being sexist it feels like I'm 'allowed' to act with aggression. In a group of light-skinned men it feels like I'm more of sex object without any autonomy and if I do react with aggression it's frowned upon. Both situations are weird..

I generalise a whole lot and maybe I should be reading this book. But I don't know. American culture is so different than mine when it comes to feminism, racism and men. Aside from rappers and Terry Crews you almost never get to see African-American men in different roles on television. And sometimes it feels... fake. My culture as a whole is a bit more blunt. More direct. That isn't better but without knowing the nuances of American culture, could I get something out of this book? Or would I be left feeling like I just read something typical American?… (meer)