John Wood (6) (1939–)

The author writes about experiencing emotions in the context of the Center for Studies of the Person (CSP) in La Jolla, California, in 1972. The author requested participants to talk or write about feelings in 31 categories. He selected people for awareness of their feelings and valuing their expression in exploratory ways. He describes CSP as a loose-knit "amalgamation of people who are interested in human growth". The author mentions psychologists, including Jack Gibbs and others. He takes pictures with words of people's feelings. Through his methodology and technology, he sought to be learning. He investigated feelings a topical section at a time. Certain questions were standard: How does it physically feel when you are afraid? How do you act it out? What things typically make you afraid? Do you know why? What have you learned about your fear? How is that different from what you were five years ago? What do you wish for yourself next time you are afraid?

How to use this book? The author suggests that learning about others can give you courage. Learning about yourself can open up new ways to grow. Imagine being someone who feels that way. How are you different and the same?

The suggestion is that "we have gotten out of balance" and are not in touch with our feelings or ourselves. It follows that we are not in touch with each other. Cut off, we deny we are hurt, we deny the distance. By refusing to report the losses and our own insecurity, we increase its grip, its hold on us.

"We cannot pick and choose the emotions we can have." [9] That seems incredible to me. We seem to pay a huge price for not being understood. Yet how many people get involved in the journey of self-discovery? And why should we share? The author speaks to that: "I am a social animal and my time here is best spent encircling my relationships with others." [11]
So often, "underneath a lot of other urges--for money, power, property, security--are deep human needs to be with another person." How do we respond to this call?

This book can be used to reposition your "myself". Stop denying what is in there. Don't lie about it. Accept the fact that you do not have to act upon feelings you have. By revealing one's interior, you begin to engage, and this involves others. Reflect each other, giving feedback about feelings. "As a listener, I try and regard the person speaking in a nonjudgmental way." [15] What do people really mean? And resist the "temptation" to give advice. Am I paying attention, or just becoming occupied with what I'm going to say or do next?

So set the climate. Look for guideposts. Question, and share. "When I start to shut down and pull in, I am numbing the parts of me that are human, giving, loving, expansive, joyous. I want to know and use all parts of me." [17]… (meer)