Divination Class

You find yourself climbing up a dark shaft. Whispers and moans echo around you. Finally you reach a small trap-door at the top. You open it, and what do you see? ANOTHER LONG DARK SHAFT!
While you are climbing that shaft, whispers and moans echo around you. Finally you reach a small trap-door at the top. You open it, and THIS TIME what do you see? ANOTHER FREAKIN LONG DARK SHAFT!
Finally, you open a third trap-door and find yourself staring into a large circular room. Instead of chairs and desks in the room, there are comfy, soft recliners with tables next to them. You look up. A marvelous golden piano is hanging from the ceiling. all over the room are charts, crystal balls, bubbling red and orange concoctions, and piles upon piles of books. There is even a human brain sitting on one of the tables.
Suddenly, a figure wrapped in a long orange cloak emerges from a crack in the wall. He looks around and then bellows: WELCOME STUDENTS!!!

In this thrilling and ever exciting colloquium, we will be unraveling the universes past, future, present, and more! Sit yourself down in my recliners of divination and destiny! And together, we can unravel your brain literally, and discover its mysteries!!!

Please send me a private message if you would care to engage yourself in my course.

Present Pupils:
ErisofDiscord
OrientalCherry
Starlightlily
Sarahy
Beatles1964
CaputDraconis
Hyper13
BethanyS
Danielle.Montgomery

Hi Professor! Where's your pet emu?

Why fighting the evil llama masters of course. 0.o

Hello, Professor!

Now, I assume you all have your copy of: Adventures Through the Past, Present and Future with you?

Virtually, yes. In real life... nope.

Yup! ^_^

1 point from each of your houses for your dishonesty. Adventures Through the Past, Present and Future does not exist.

Aww........:(

Oh for crying out loud, Professor, I was being honest. I said I had it with me virtually, where anything can happen as this is the internet, but not in real life.

Miztah Fob, xylomancy is just another way of saying divination, which is the study of bullsh- I mean - the attempt to gain knowledge or insight through occultist means.

Not quite. It's a certain form of Divination. But your close!

Ohhhh! Divination by wood!

yes! 1 point to Slytherin!

Oh, and once you finnish studying, you may do whatever you want in my class until I give you the quiz.

–Miztah Fob

By the way, Miztah Fob, I noticed that your lesson is copied word for word from Wikipedia. That's plagiarism. But if you quote it or cite your source, it won't be. :) I'm sorry - I'm a writer, so I'm very sensitive about the issue of plagiarism (which is a very serious issue at my school, too).

Thank you for the tip. 1 point to your house

No prob! Maybe Wikipedia can be your textbook! :D

Hello, Prof- I mean Miztah Fob! sorry for not showing my "presence" early. I will definitely study your extremely long lesson:)

Yes welcome cherry! And welcome Sarahy our newest pupil. I trust you will study hard for the test?

of course- i am an annoyingly good student non-virtually :)

Attention: Your palmistry test will be given tomorrow. When I give you the test, I will then delete the palmistry lesson I first gave you. I will post the test questions here in the classroom, but I want you to give me the answers to the questions In a PRIVATE COMMENT. You have until December 9 to do the test.

The following people do NOT have to do the test. Because they were not present when I gave the lesson:

Beatles1964
CaputDraconis
Hyper13

–Miztah Fob

Sorry I wasn't here for the lesson, but I am fine to do the test. (I have studied the lesson)

Oops! I forgot to give you the test! Okay, so here it is:

1. Name two palm lines.
2. When reading a persons palm, what hand do they usually read?
3. The basic framework for "Classical" palmistry is rooted in what mythology?
4. Each area of the palm and fingers is related to what?
5. Palmistry consists of the practice of evaluating these two things.
6. In some traditions of palmistry, readers also examine characteristics of these 6 things.
7. Characteristics of the ring finger are tied to the subject's dealings with what 6 things?

The test is now due on December 10 because I gave you the test late. (sorry about that)

–Miztah Fob

miztah fob, can we answer the questions a few at a time or do we have to do them all at once?

I don't care. As long as you eventually answer all the questions within the deadline.

7 points to Starlightlilly and CaputDraconis for finishing the test.

OrientalCherry gets only 5 points, because 2 of the answers were wrong. :(

What is the tests due date? (because if I'm not too late I might be able to answer some of the questions)

December 10

okay

Thanks!

Thank you, Professor! Oh, and...I've noticed you often spell my name with two Ls. You know, like, 'StarlightLilly'? Actually, it's 'StarlightLily'. Sorry if I sound annoying. I know I probably shouldn't correct you in class. ^_^

No it's okay. I welcome tips. I'm still an early teacher you know. :)

Can I know my mistakes, Miztah Fob? I just want to know what I missed...(by private message will do)

i would love to know if i got them right as well...

7 points each to Sarahy and Eris for the test.

NOTICE: All of the points awarded to the people who did the test have already been added by me. DO NOT add the points to your house total in the Points Posting 3 thread!

– Miztah Fob

Thank you Miztah Fob! :D By the way, what kind of cat is Claudius?

Claudius is my emu! Not my cat!

That's right! My bad. (The epic memory of Eris strikes again!) What type of cat is your cat (whose name has slipped my mind - is it Linus? I forget)? :( I'm sorry about the bad memory.

His name is Lignum. And I'm not sure about what kind of cat he is. One day, I was contacting Claudius who was in Peru battling with the llama lord Ctharos* when Lignum magically appeared on my desk! I think he was a gift from the platypus council of Vasdhin**. Who I had helped fight off the mighty llama army of Shabvok***

*= I call copyright on that awesome name! ©
**= That one too! ©
***= And that one ©

alrighty then....

those sound like eragon names :)

That's what I was going for! :)

nice

miztah fob, why are there so many dark long shafts on the way to your classroom?

Those are not long dark shafts. They are holographic images projected from a "photo-realistic imaging system." The founders of Hogwarts purchased them from EmuTech Industries Inc when they made the school. They were put there for extra creepiness. :)

They divination classroom is really only 1 foot high. :P

ahh, of course... do they keep away the evil llama sorcerers too?

Exactly so! 1 point to your house for your sudden burst of smartness.

I'm a smartass all the time. Do I get points for that?

Now, now Eris. Asking gets you nothing.

um, eris? fob said "smartness" not "smartass"

and thanks, miztah fob!!

I know what he said. I was just being a smartass.

nice

Nice got nothing to do with it, darling.

I know

wow eris u went all southern on us for a second there...

I didn't go all Southern. I just butchered a quote from Mae West. :)

A woman sees a large diamond bracelet Mae West is wearing. "Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!"
Mae West's response: "Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie."

haha that's funny... hey eris do you actually have recliners in this room?? like the chairs?? it says in your into message... or is that a metaphor? cuz i like recliners! :)

All right, cupcakes, listen up! I am Eris, and I will be your substitute teacher. Professor Fob has asked me to give everyone a small lesson while he is away, and so I shall. I'm sorry that I have been tardy in giving it, but the holidays have grabbed ahold of me, and I have only recently gotten my act together. So! The lesson is about cartomancy, courtesy of Wikipedia:

Cartomancy is fortune-telling or divination using a deck of cards. Forms of cartomancy appeared soon after playing cards were first introduced into Europe in the 14th century. Practitioners of cartomancy are generally known as cartomancers, card readers or, simply, readers.

Cartomancy using standard playing cards was the most popular form of providing "fortune telling" card readings in the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries. In English-speaking countries, a standard deck of Anglo-American bridge/poker playing cards (i.e., 52-card, four suit set) can be used in the cartomancy reading; the deck is often augmented with jokers, and even with the blank card found in many packaged decks. In France, the 32-card piquet playing card deck was, and still is, most typically used in cartomancy readings, while the 52-card deck was, and still is, also used for this purpose. (For a piquet deck, start with a 52-card deck and remove all of the 2s through the 6s. This leaves all of the 7s through the 10s, the face cards, and the aces.)

The Tarot can also be used in cartomancy.

All right, now that that bullcrap is over, I want you to read it carefully. I will take it down in a week, and then a series of questions will be issued. Send them in a PM to Fob's profile.

That is all, tulips. Happy new year.

When is miztah fib getting back? (no offense to your lovely teaching skills eris I'm just curious)

Miztah Fob is back, but he's pouting in his office. And he's musing about the definition of "manly." (See the word of the day on his profile.)

Isn't it like masculine?

Evidently.

:D You'll never guess what were about to do... ;)

Were gonna have a discussion! :DDD

The first thing I want you to do is find the first fiction book in your house, mansion, box, etc that you see, and tell me who the main character is. Then explain the main thing this person is doing.

Okay, sounds fun.

Ivan is the main character of the book that I have. The main thing that Ivan is doing is languishing in jail.

Now, tell me what happens to Ivan at the end of the book.

I don't know, I haven't gotten that far.

Okay, then tell me what is happening at the part that you are at now.

Ivan got out of bed too late and now he is being taken off for punishment.

I am reading uglies, and the main character is Tally

What's happening in the part where your at? (I'll wait until I give the next step, just in case anyone else wants to do it)

Right now she is trying to find her friend against her will

Is she at the roller coaster?

I'm reading Dragonsong and the main character is Mellony(I think thats how you spell it!)

Bethany I think it's Melanie

no I remember it was spelled with a y at the end...

*checks book* Oh it's Menolly (just got some letters mixed up!)

The main character is Frodo and he just got taken away by orcs after Sam thinks that Shelob the spider killed him.

*heaves in breath excitedly* You're reading The Return of the King? I am reading The Fellowship of the Ring for the first time! Have you read LOTR before?

That's great you're reading Lord of the Rings. This is my first time reading the series too. Are you looking forward to the Hobbit movie? Have you read the the Hobbit yet?

I just finished The Hobbit a couple of weeks ago, and I am SO psyched about the movie! I watched the trailer ten times when it came out, and I was screaming with joy! Literally. It was very annoying for my brother. :)

Have you read The Hobbit?

Yes I read it last summer! And I agree the trailer was AMAZING!! I can't wait! I heard that it was going to be in two parts, do you know if that's true?

It will be in two parts! The first one is called "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey" and it will be coming out in December of this year (wah). The second part is "The Hobbit: There and Back Again" and it will be out in December of 2013. Sigh. So long to wait.

I love LOTR I can't wait for the Hobbit movie why why does it have to come out in December that's so far away :(