2.5 stars ( )

Years of mental and physical abuse leave marks that take a monumental support system to ease, but never erase. Fortunately, the protagonist of Quinn's newest novel not only finds the support system, but also is pulled from the blackness surrounding him in a series of tiny steps that will make readers appreciate the effort it takes a victim to move into the light.

Avery, who sees himself as a human punching bag, has escaped his horrific home life and a group home to live peacefully with his unofficial brother Sam. While Avery is deeply scarred from his childhood experiences, he's functional enough to have a job at a bookstore and enjoy pastimes like cooking. However, he's not comfortable with large men getting into his private space and can't imagine ever having a boyfriend.

Hunky college student Noah Yates, who works next to the bookshop at a furniture store, takes one look at Avery and is smitten. Instead of seeing a battered victim, Noah sees someone cute and funny and very, very appealing. On a break one day in an alley the two stores share, Noah makes his move, talking to Avery which scares the smaller man, whose past makes him fear men larger than he is.

While Noah is surprised at Avery's reaction, he is persistent in his attentions and little by little picks away at the walls Avery has built around himself. As Avery begins to realize that Noah won't leave him alone, Sam persuades Avery to visit a psychologist to shore up his self-confidence and self-esteem. It's a rocky climb, but Avery grits his teeth and with the support of Sam, Sam's fiancé, his co-workers, and the undaunted Noah, he works his way, pretty much kicking and screaming, into a better life.

Occasionally a little too teary, Avery for the most part is an appealing central character. His past weighs heavily on him as is true for most of us, but in a way his past can't easily be ignored or shucked as many of ours can. It's not surprising that Noah is drawn to him and wants only the best for him. As a reader, I did too.

Read the rest of my review at AAR: http://www.likesbooks.com/cgi-bin/bookReview.pl?BookReviewId=9666 ( )

3.75 stars

Pretty heavy book, but not heavy handed. The abuse is off page but not less impactful.

I don't know that I would read it again, but I am glad I did read this one and would definitely read more from Carter Quinn. ( )

Perhaps my moods have been darker of late, but my choice of novels to review seem to have become darker in nature. Out of the Blackness, by Carter Quinn, while it does end on a positive note, fall under that category.

This is the first time that I have read anything by Carter Quinn, but the buzz around Goodreads had been so positive about this novel that I gave it a chance. And boy am I glad that I did!

Basic Plot:

Avery has a history of personal abuse, one that has left him in a constant state of fear and anxiety. The only person in his life that he trusts is Sam, his brother who tries to help Avery heal. In the mix comes, Noah, the large, muscular someone who Avery fears yet finds attractive. Can Avery heal enough to be strong enough to take this chance at love?

Avery:

We see this story through the eyes of Avery. So that means all actions and motivations of the other characters are shaded by Avery’s perspective. In this case, it built tension, because most of the conflicts within this novel are internal and relationship based. However, as we see in the quote below, we can not fully trust Avery’s vision:

I’m not fated to be some character in a gay romance novel-like love story. As much as that hurts– because wouldn’t that really be nice?– I know I’m much more like the Beagle dogs laboratories keep in kennels for testing purposes. My purpose is much more to be used and abused for someone else’s enjoyment than my own.”

And with that quote, we get to the heart of the book and the heart of the problem. Avery doesn’t believe in his self-worth or that he is good enough for Noah, or really any happiness. When I spoke of a darkness of tone, Avery’s state of mind, thoughts of suicide, drug abuse, and panic attacks are just a few topics. But what we have to understand is that this novel takes these grim plot points and turns them into rays of hope.

Noah:

Our first introduction to Noah is a vision of manliness and vigor:

He is so…huge. His presence, his personality, his physical body are all out of proportion to me. I’m the small guy who fades into the background, the one who hopes no one notices him. Noah is the big, beautiful man who draws everyone’s eyes like an irresistible magnet. He doesn’t mind being the center of attention. In fact, I suspect he rather likes it. He handles the spotlight and people well, even me. He’s insanely charming, ridiculously good looking and undeniably sexy. In short, he’s way out of my league, even if I wanted to play, which I don’t.

So while we see Noah from Avery’s eyes, he is so much more. Noah sees Avery’s true self, under all of that fear and social anxiety, and he is willing to wait patiently until Avery is strong enough to accept the relationship and the chance of a future.

Strong Points:

The first strength within this novel is Quinn’s knowledge of the psychology of abuse and certain disorders. We see this in his descriptions of Avery’s thought processes, his panic attacks, and his dialogues with his therapist. From other authors I have seen these things written as half-assed over-the-top versions. But within Out of the Blackness, we get the drama, but not the over-drama. I felt his pain, I could understand what he felt and how he felt, because to some degree, I have been where he was. It is a powerful writer who can make us feel these things, who makes us believe in the characters and their motivations.

The second strong point is of the supporting characters. This book is packed with scenes between Avery and his brother, his therapist, and his coworkers. We come to know quite a bit about them and we learn to appreciate their involvement in Avery’s life.

What could be better?

I would have changed very little within this book. However, I do want to warn those who look for action-packed scenes. There really is no “bad guy” who chases them, but rather these are internal conflicts. So, if you want gun fights and dramatic saves, this might not be not novel for you.

Conclusions:

I was in the mood for some thought-provoking reading when I found this novel. From the beginning of Out of the Blackness, I found a well written, emotionally complex read that kept me interested and engaged until the end. I reserve 5-star rating for those books that I can emotionally connect to and whose characters remain with me long after I have closed the book. I got exactly what I wanted from Out of the Blackness: a good read.
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