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The Bitch in Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic

door Jacqueline Hornor Plumez

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2611898,053 (3.38)2
Do you ever find yourself thinking, how could you be so stupid, you look fat, or you re a horrible mother? Are you afraid people will find out you ve fooled them into thinking you're competent? If you re guilty of expressing these types of discouraging messages, then you have a bitch in your head. This self-critical behavior can wreak havoc with your life it can keep you from getting the love you want, the raise you deserve, or even a good night s sleep. Dr. Plumez began to notice a pattern with her patients being too hard on themselves. She found that gentler approaches didn t work, but when she told them they were being a bitch to themselves they finally recognized their self-defeating attitude and how much it was weighing them down.With this book, Dr. Plumez can help you banish the bitch. It identifies the different types of bitches work, marriage, parenting, and so on and provides effective tools and techniques to combat the forms of self-destruction described. Once you begin to encourage rather than criticize, you will find that your career, social life, and relationships almost magically improve."… (meer)
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1-5 van 11 worden getoond (volgende | toon alle)
Deze bespreking is geschreven voor LibraryThing Vroege Recensenten.
This book was.. okay. It wasn't quite what I was expecting. There's a questionnaire in the beginning that asks you to go into some deep thought and answer some questions presented to you. I found myself wishing it continued to go deeper to help you analyze your bad habits/self treatment. Then it goes chapter by chapter into different types of bitches and gives some situations and some general advice. Problem is some of the chapters talk about things I don't deal with in my life. So I ended up gleaming very little from the few parts that did apply. It feels like it tries to cover too many life issues and then only briefly covers them. This book would have been better if it talked about dealing with low self esteem, self criticism, and other topics in general instead of specific 'bitches' like the dating bitch or the parenting bitch. This may be a good intro book for someone to skim to whatever applies to their life, but not for more in depth soul searching. ( )
  ccooney | Dec 31, 2015 |
Deze bespreking is geschreven voor LibraryThing Vroege Recensenten.
This book provides a valuable service just by existing. The idea that you can be a bitch to yourself -- that you hold yourself to a completely different set of standards and expectations than you hold anyone else --- can be illuminating and freeing. Dr. Plumez shows us (woman, mainly, though I imagine some men experience this, too) how our inwardly directed thoughts and feelings can sabotage us in all the domains of our lives -- relationships, work, exercise, etc. The book is a quick and sensible read liberally scattered with anecdotes and short, compelling advice. And the phenomenon itself is so important that I found myself talking it up to everyone. But, again, recognition of the concept alone is incredibly powerful. And so, in a way, this book could achieve great value in the span of a magazine article. The value added by a book-length project comes with the details, but because self-sabotage is such a prevalent phenomenon in so many different aspects of our lives, the examples felt a little breezed-through. For people who need added help combating their inner bitch, I'd love to see this as the beginning a series, with future titles covering specifics like family life, relationships, career, self-care, etc. ( )
  Ella.Kennen | Oct 24, 2015 |
Deze bespreking is geschreven voor LibraryThing Vroege Recensenten.
This book is a solid "meh." There's very little structure within each chapter - it reads like a bunch of haphazardly thrown together anecdotes with the occasional bit of advice. And that's what this book is - self-help advice. I would have liked it to be an examination of the psychology behind obsessive negative and critical thinking, but it just isn't. It's a popular self-help book that is probably good for people who like self-help books. ( )
  Shadow123 | Aug 28, 2015 |
Deze bespreking is geschreven voor LibraryThing Vroege Recensenten.
While not exactly revolutionary, and nothing you wouldn't see in an issue of any women's magazine, the author, Dr. Jacqueline Hornor Plumez, writes in a friendly, relatable manner. Dr. Plumez uses helpful hints and interesting anecdotes to basically show that the reader is normal and not alone in their struggles. She also encourages the reader to not be ashamed to ask for help. The book covers mainly societal issues and attempts to teach the reader how to deal with both outside pressures from other people and the pressure we put on ourselves. The book, ultimately, is about empowerment and taking your life back. It was a quick read, with helpful exercises and advice. ( )
  erin1 | Jul 11, 2015 |
Deze bespreking is geschreven voor LibraryThing Vroege Recensenten.
I was enthusiastic about reading this book by Jacqueline Hornor Plumez, which promised to address the ubiquitous problem of negative self-talk. In calling this negative inner voice “the Bitch”, the author seems to have captured the problem well.

The first chapter introduces the concept and asks the reader to complete a questionnaire to identify the areas in which their “Bitch” plagues them. The structure of this questionnaire led me to believe the rest of the book would address each issue point-by-point. However, having now finished the book, I find that the author never referred to the questionnaire again after the first chapter, and never tried to connect the subheadings in the questionnaire with the relevant sections of the book. In fact, there is no obvious correspondence to make it easy for the reader to find the sections most relevant to them. Some points in the questionnaire seem never to have been addressed, or perhaps are buried in multiple sections of the book. While the questionnaire is organized by the type of negative self-talk (insults to yourself, self-recriminations, not accepting compliments, etc.), the rest of the book is organized by situations: school, parenting, dating, divorce, sports, arts, etc.

Hornor Plumez tries to target just about every possible setting in which “the Bitch” might plague a person. Since this is a thin paperback, this means that she cannot spend much time discussing any of the situations in detail. For example, one obvious area where people are plagued with negative self-talk is their physical appearance, and particularly weight. Hornor Plumez's prescription for this situation more or less amounts to the following: find out your BMI; if it indicates that you are overweight, start a regimen of healthy eating and regular exercise; meanwhile, don't let your negative inner voice torture you. Wow! So simple. Hundreds of psychology and self-help books, hundreds of weight-loss and fitness programs, hundreds of therapists working with clients for years on negative self-image, and this is all takes. I know what the author is trying to do here, but clearly if someone's “Bitch” is torturing them about body image, it won't get solved this easily. This is similar to telling a procrastinator to “just do it” - essentially correct, but it just doesn't work.

Some of the situations the author describes don't seem to fit the metaphor of “the Bitch” particularly well. For example, the chapter on “the Sporty Bitch” talks about unsportsmanlike behavior and aggression in team sports. This might be an example of how negative thinking impacts behavior, but it doesn't fit with the idea of an inner critic putting oneself down. It seems that the author tried to stretch her concept of the bitch to encompass all the types of clients she sees in her practice.

To me, the strength of the book is in calling the negative inner voice “the Bitch”. A lot of people who think of themselves as kind and considerate and who would never insult another person are constantly being mean to themselves. Coining the phrase “the Bitch in your head” is a useful wake-up call for many of us. After that, the book can be used as a sort of catalogue of possible issues caused by negative self-talk. After browsing the sections, a person can then look for deeper resources on any of the issues relevant to them. However, as a guide to overcoming any particular problem, the book is a disappointment.

Full disclosure: I received a free copy of this book through LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program. ( )
  teaholic | Jul 7, 2015 |
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Do you ever find yourself thinking, how could you be so stupid, you look fat, or you re a horrible mother? Are you afraid people will find out you ve fooled them into thinking you're competent? If you re guilty of expressing these types of discouraging messages, then you have a bitch in your head. This self-critical behavior can wreak havoc with your life it can keep you from getting the love you want, the raise you deserve, or even a good night s sleep. Dr. Plumez began to notice a pattern with her patients being too hard on themselves. She found that gentler approaches didn t work, but when she told them they were being a bitch to themselves they finally recognized their self-defeating attitude and how much it was weighing them down.With this book, Dr. Plumez can help you banish the bitch. It identifies the different types of bitches work, marriage, parenting, and so on and provides effective tools and techniques to combat the forms of self-destruction described. Once you begin to encourage rather than criticize, you will find that your career, social life, and relationships almost magically improve."

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Jacqueline Hornor Plumez's boek The Bitch In Your Head: How to Finally Squash Your Inner Critic was beschikbaar via LibraryThing Early Reviewers.

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