On three separate occasions across three years, I read this book's description, decided I had to read it, and checked it out from the library. When I opened it this time digitally and realised that this was the same book I'd let expire twice before, I only persevered due to the recommendations of a few of my lovely GoodReads friends here with impeccable taste.

But I should have just given up. The second half was indeed better significantly than the first, but it didn't redeem it--this one just didn't click with me. ( )

what IF Waverly was actually a psychopath tho? I'd probably enjoy that book a little more. ( )

A smart, well- (if sometimes over-)written book not to my taste. Were I in charge, it would have refocused to be Autumn's story -- she was by far the most interesting character to me, and the one I most enjoyed spending time with. I usually found myself starting each Waverly chapter (and to a lesser extent, the Marshall ones) with, "oh my god, I know you don't sleep, I know you find your friends vapid, I know you aren't interested in any of the things you've constructed your whole life around, your whole life is a lie, I know I know I know; please get over yourself and DO something about it already." The fact that that's deeply hard is the point, I know, and this book handles that very well. I just, as a matter of personal taste, lose patience quickly with a book that is only about a character's depressive journey to self-actualization.

The author clearly thought a lot about the gendering of the characters. Waverly is frequently described as a "robot"; at one point she says she's not good at being loved, she's good at being self-sufficient. Marshall is more sensitive and emotional. She's channeled her driven-ness into traditionally female-gendered school activities, and he's consistently told by his father and brother to suck it up and "be a man," but underneath they don't fit the "emotional, romantic girl" and "strong silent boy" stereotypes. Had the characters' genders been reversed, a lot of the power of the book would have disappeared.

Despite my eye-rolling at the main characters, it kept me turning the pages, and there is a lot to think about here. Fans of [b:Eleanor & Park|15745753|Eleanor & Park|Rainbow Rowell|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1341952742s/15745753.jpg|17225055], [b:Thirteen Reasons Why|1217100|Thirteen Reasons Why|Jay Asher|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1333822506s/1217100.jpg|2588213], or [b:Before I Fall|6482837|Before I Fall|Lauren Oliver|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1361044695s/6482837.jpg|6674135] should definitely give this a try. There's discussion of sex and lots of irresponsible underage alcohol and drug use, not to mention all the straight-up bleakness of some characters' lives, so I'd say it's for precocious 9th graders and up. ( )

This book guts me the way Vaughan Williams' "Fantasia on a Theme of Thomas Tallis" guts me. This book guts me the way, unsurprisingly and totally fittingly, "Comfortably Numb" guts me. It's told from alternating perspectives of the two main characters, Waverly and Marshall. Neither are completely trustworthy narrators, but between the two, the reader gets a clearer understanding of who each of them was at the beginning and how they change throughout the story. The way learn to accept their own rougher edges because of the unique relationship they have together made my heart ache in a way that I haven't felt in quite a while. There is such longing and insecurity in every single character in this book, and there is some aspect of almost all of them that is relatable. It feels as though Yovanoff has distilled a small part of my soul and put it down on paper, and I'm so, so glad it exists in the tangible form of this book.

Is this even a coherent description? I finished reading it days ago and I'm still not over the onslaught of emotions. I hadn't read any of Brenna Yovanoff's works before, and I pre-ordered it on a whim so I could get that gorgeous Maggie Stiefvater bookplate. I don't think I'll be able to read anything else until I've exhausted Yovanoff's entire bibliography. ( )

Waverly Camdenmar seems to be perfect: a top-notch student, triumphant cross-country runner, and member of the popular crowd. But it's all a carefully crafted facade. The real Waverly is someone else entirely. The real Waverly can't get to sleep. Then one night she lights a candle as part of a relaxation exercise, but instead of drifting off, she finds herself elsewhere, in the presence of Marshall Holt, a sensitive underachiever who's coping badly with problems at home. He quickly becomes the only person she can really open up to... but only during these strange nighttime visits.

I am genuinely astonished by how much I loved this book. YA is always kind of hit and miss for me, and as soon as I opened this one up and realized that the story was plunging me into the horrific world of the Popular Girls, I had to suppress an urge to run away screaming. (Hey, I have lingering trauma.) But Waverly isn't your stereotypical Popular Girl. Waverly is a natural Nerd Girl who's faked her way into the Popular Girls' circle by virtue of careful scheming and the right choice of childhood best friend. She's a layered and interesting person, with a strong and interesting voice. And she feels very real.

Actually, once you accept the vaguely magical realism-y premise, everything in this story feels impressively, insightfully, sometimes heartbreakingly real. And it's darned well-written, too. ( )