Few thoughts occur to me about Plutarch’s Lives, Volume I, except a sort of vague entertained-ness. Emerson called it “a Bible for heroes”, but it is kinda like, I don’t know, ‘The Battle Book’, (for boys!), or a sports book, you know. (—I open my eyes and I ask myself, why did she break up with me? *puts hands in long hair* Image is everything.)

But I don’t know. There’s little to be upset about, you know. I guess even people dying doesn’t have to be so bad, if it’s all fair and square fighting, maybe.

The German Boy: I don’t like Plutarch because (stupid technical reason, don’t trust his etymologies, whatever).
The German Girl: (Oh!) But Plutarch wrote about those men who fought in all the wars in all those old stories, you know….

I mean, he also apparently wrote philosophy, and that’s probably better, but, I don’t know.

—But he wrote down the stories, love, all the stories of the men who fought in the wars….
—You’re insipid.
—Oh, but I want to learn….

And it is sorta interesting thinking about dividing each war into parts, so it’s not the Peloponnesian War, but Pericles’s war, and Alcibiades’s war, and not the Second Punic War, but Marcellus’s war, and Scipio’s war…. I don’t know, life IS experienced like that, even if he never Really Says anything, you know. Like I said, it’s the Battle Book. It’s Death Tennis.

…. But it’s probably a little over-valued, by some people.

Ancient Greek Baby: Ba ba boo! Ba ba boo?
Lord Grantham: He’s saying Hello! He’s Really saying Hello! He’s a GREEK!!!

…. Men’s Lives, you know. There were no chicks back then. They hadn’t been invented yet. 😸

…. (robot voice) You have reached the end of The Encyclopedia of Random Ancient People, Part One. Good-bye. (phone hanging up noise).

Helga G Pataki: (swoons) Good-bye, my love, Plutarch—HEAVENSBEE. 🥰