Such imperfectly perfect characters brought to life by the narration of Cornell Collins! ( )

A beautiful love story. Alexis Hall of Boyfriend Material fame has the art of making you feel the love. I felt it as Alfie and Fen were swept off their feet into the stratosphere!

Speaking of which, I happened to be asking myself lately - what books in the 21C are today's equivalent of Dr Zhivago. For some reason I was thinking of the cinema I was sitting in decades ago watching Julie Christie and Omar Sharif take me into the heart of their great love story.

Despite the fact that I've read plenty of 21C romance novels, I really don't know where to start to answer that question. Thingers, any ideas? I remember not long ago someone posed a similar question ... what is today's equivalent of Lady Chatterley's Lover? This person, a millennial, has just been stopped in their tracks by the book, followed by a binge of several movie versions.

Alexis Hall writes about Alfie and Fen with such tenderness, and admiration.

The story maybe let the book down - not particularly meaty, and a little 'been there done that' - but there's enough to satisfy.

Also, at first I thought: Cornell Collins - I'm not going to enjoy his narrating. I was definitely wrong.

Can't close without mentioning the clever title. ( )

Alexis Hall’s standard combination of complex, wounded, lonely characters with overtones of melancholy, set in gloomy North East England. Be prepared to have your heart broken and put back together at least three times.

Stars: 4.5 ( )

[3.6] A former bully-to-lover story that I surprisingly enjoyed more than I thought I would. I believe kids can grow up to be very different people as adults, so the "former bully" part allowed me to proceed with my usual reservations at a lower setting.

This book is Alfie's redemption arc: recognizing the damage of his past actions, the tight hold toxic masculinity and internalized homophobia have on him even after coming out of the closet, and the life he truly wants to lead.

"She wouldn’t understand, and he couldn’t explain. How bad it felt to be a shock. To be an idea people had to get used to. To be a moment of hesitation. A flinch when someone touched you. A wariness in their eyes. How much it fucking hurt."

As an adult, Alfie has a big heart, but he hasn't made much progress in wholly accepting himself. While I don't condone his past actions, I can understand that he's a victim in his own right.

Now I wouldn't go so far as to say dislike but I couldn't find myself necessarily attached to him either. His attempts at making things right felt too....clumsy and daft for my liking. Like it's great to want to help and all, but if you have no idea how and just wing it, don't be surprised if it makes the situation worse. I'm sure the whole diy plasterwork/shower curtain railing scene was supposed to endear him to me, but instead it had me shaking my head and sighing ( )

There were several times through this book that I couldn't figure out how I felt about it. I mean, it's so so good, of course, but so much of it was painful that I can't quite say it hit me the right way right now.

Some other day? Maybe. Or maybe this one isn't it for me.

The prologue is stunning. Fen's letters are stunning. I loved Greg and Kitty, but I found a couple of conflicts unconvincing, partially because these characters know so much of love. It was well-written. Complicated and not. And so are my feelings on it overall. ( )