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The Buddha at My Table: How I Found Peace in Betrayal and Divorce

door Tammy Letherer

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Can you come sit at the table? Tammy Letherer's husband of twelve years spoke these words on a Tuesday night, just before Christmas, after he had put their three children in bed. He had a piece of paper and two fingers of scotch in front of him. As he read from the list in his hand, his next words would shatter her world and destroy every assumption she'd ever made about love, friendship, and faithfulness. In The Buddha at My Table, Letherer describes--in honest, sometimes painful detail--the dismantling of a marriage that encompasses the ordinary and the surreal, including the night she finds a silent, smiling Thai monk sitting at the same dining room table. It's this unexpected visitation, this personification of peace, that sticks with her as she listens to her husband reveal hurtful, shocking things--that he never loved her, he doesn't believe in monogamy, and he wants to "wrap things up" with her in four weeks--and allows her to find the blessing in her husband's betrayal. Ultimately, it's when she realizes that she is participating in her life, not at its mercy, that she discovers the path to freedom.… (meer)
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This is a title that you find yourself wanting to highlight and reflect upon, and re-read with a different eye than you started with. On it's face it is the story of a husband, Dave, appearing strongly narcissistic and cruel, casually dumping the mother load of pain on his unsuspecting wife and mother of his three children, Tammy. Has never been faithful and has decided that he isn't made to be a monogamist......just ask his current girlfriend. Tammy is so blind-sided that she literally is brought to her knees. And there she remains for much of the story in ways literal and figurative, cycling through all the stages of grief that one does with a loss. As a counselor myself, I have tried to help people unravel themselves from their history with this person to see the path to this new journey that has been thrust upon them......to mindfully take joy in the smaller moments of now and treasure them. I will also admit to an inward cheer for Tammy when the mediator tells Dave that she can't help him because what he is saying makes no sense. Finally someone who says out loud what Tammy has been fighting since the nightmare began! Tammy is honest......not only with herself but with her children......and makes her way to what she wants in this new life as she discovers it. A story of pain, of self-doubt, of re-discovery, of digging into your strength and finding healing in the every day. Beautiful. ( )
  TiffanyHow | Jun 28, 2018 |
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Can you come sit at the table? Tammy Letherer's husband of twelve years spoke these words on a Tuesday night, just before Christmas, after he had put their three children in bed. He had a piece of paper and two fingers of scotch in front of him. As he read from the list in his hand, his next words would shatter her world and destroy every assumption she'd ever made about love, friendship, and faithfulness. In The Buddha at My Table, Letherer describes--in honest, sometimes painful detail--the dismantling of a marriage that encompasses the ordinary and the surreal, including the night she finds a silent, smiling Thai monk sitting at the same dining room table. It's this unexpected visitation, this personification of peace, that sticks with her as she listens to her husband reveal hurtful, shocking things--that he never loved her, he doesn't believe in monogamy, and he wants to "wrap things up" with her in four weeks--and allows her to find the blessing in her husband's betrayal. Ultimately, it's when she realizes that she is participating in her life, not at its mercy, that she discovers the path to freedom.

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