Wow, what a book! I've done nothing today but read it, hungrily. Since my teens I've been interested in religious vocations, lives in convents, and as I grew older, I became aware of Fundamentalist Mormons. I never thought of Jehovah's Witnesses as a cult. Things I knew about it before I read this book include:

1. That J.W. children could not be in class while others sang the national anthem.


2. That J.W. couldn't get blood transfusions.


3. That J.W. didn't celebrate Hallowe'en, or Christmas, or birthdays.


4. That Michael Jackson was a J.W.


That's it. Even though I have chatted politely with a handful of J.W.s at my front door, I never knew how controlled the doctrine was. I am highly uncomfortable with religions that disavow pleasure and fun; in which women must submit to men; in which all parts of one's life are governed by the church (for want of a better word), and where people who leave the sect lose family and friends and the entire structure of their lives because their whole lives have been given over to their religion.

The Jehovah's Witnesses tick all of these boxes.

Amber Scorah was taken to meetings of J.W.s when she was just a child, and for the most part was raised in the faith. Married young, as is their custom, Amber and her husband worked overseas in the task of converting others to the J.W.s. The sect is banned in China, yet Amber and her husband moved to Shanghai and began proselytizing there. Despite the secrecy required in order for a J.W. to preach in China, in many ways the city was a form of salvation for Amber. Detached from other J.W.s, Amber was not bound as she was in Canada to daily Bible groups, to having friends only if they shared your faith, and she began to grow, to get a secular job with secular co-workers who became her friends. With the assistance of an American friend, she becomes deprogrammed and leaves the Jehovah's Witnesses and her husband and makes her way forward in a world without her religion as a guide and backdrop.

The book was shocking, fascinating, and so easy to read that it felt almost like I was devouring a novel. I think the strangeness of a faith I never knew about combined with descriptions of an utterly different life in Shanghai made the book seem almost unreal. I was amazed by Amber's bravery. She preached in a country where she could be jailed (or worse) for doing so, and she left everything behind when she exited her marriage, her religion, and her home, and did so knowing that she would lose the majority of her family and friends, be branded an apostate, and never be forgiven. I admire Amber greatly, and would love to know her. You know you've read something powerful when you want to meet the author and burble on (probably nonsensically) about her book and her life and her future.

Highly recommended. Five stars. A place in my "permanent collection" of books that will stay with me, on my shelf and in my head, for good.

( )

I dislike saying this but this comes off more as FICTION rather than NON-FICTION. It's too pat, not enough depth, more like someone who researched what it was like to leave JWs and wrote a story about it. The writing just feels wrong and so much is left out or doesn't make sense. I've known ex-JWs and this feels nothing like their stories. I'm not saying she's lying but the writing leaves so much to be desired if this was an actual autobiography. I know I sound rude but that's my opinion. You don't have to agree with me. ( )

Not a fun read, but it was realistic. ( )

I heard Amber speak a few years ago and was fascinated by her story. She and her husband went to China to try to save Chinese souls, because Jehovah's Witnesses believe they have to save you before Armageddon (which is coming soon.) While in China she began to question everything she knew, and "left the Witness." ( )

As someone who was raised Catholic and is now atheist, I have always been utterly intrigued by memoirs and books that depict one’s life inside other religions and those that have broken free. Such stories are often heartbreaking, maddening, and unflinchingly honest, and you can’t help but be in awe of the writer’s bravery to escape such a life. We may not have had the same experiences, but we do share the invisible battle scars of the dark side of organized religion. ⁣
Amber has grown up a Jehovah’s Witness, and she and her husband are now headed to Shanghai to try and convert others; they believe and have been taught that it is their duty to do so. Outside religious preaching is illegal in China, and if caught, Amber and the other members faced expulsion from the country or worse, detainment. They did find ways to deceive the authorities and not only find ways to bring their message to others, but to hold their weekly meetings as a congregation. They justify their deceit with their fervent belief that they are doing the Lord’s work. There are parts of Amber’s life that she is unsatisfied about, but she is afraid to doubt parts of her faith. Once Amber gets a job to help support her family, she begins to learn the truth behind her belief system, and decides that she needs to let go of the person she was, to become her true self. ⁣
I know only a few things about the Jehovah Witness faith, and the writer did a thorough job of describing the history and their practices. Though she had a difficult experience, never once does she chide those still actively practicing the faith, or any faith. She gives you the freedom to explore your own beliefs, a gift she didn’t receive until she was an adult. There were several personal musings and statements, particularly in her heartbreaking last chapter, that really spoke to me, and I even took pictures of them to add to my collection. ( )