This book is both hard to read and hard to put down. It is simultaneously a caution and an exhortation; the exploration of a problem and hope for healing.

Sexual abuse and support for victims are topics that Christians have largely not wished to deal with. Now in the past decade, the church is at a public crisis point where there is no longer a choice -- deal, we must. God bless Mary for using her experience, healing, and research to give us what may become the definitive manual on identifying the problem, supporting survivors, and facilitating justice the way Jesus desires.

I am still reading through parts of the book and pondering, and may amend this review in the future. ( )

Mary DeMuth has written a deeply personal challenge to the church in America (anywhere, really, but the American church needs to listen). Beginning with her own story of childhood sexual abuse, from which her passion for reform and healing arises, she paints a moving story of what many women suffer in silence. But more, this book calls church leaders to action, to justice, to mercy and compassion. Get this book into the hands of your pastor, your minister, your ministry leader. It will give them suggestions and reasons for setting up processes that protect the abused instead of the abuser in their midst. Let this loving, hopeful challenge speak into the corridors of church power so that real change can come. We Too offers resources, yes, but it keeps the focus on who needs protecting—not the church but the most vulnerable within.

"We Too" by Mary DeMuth is a difficult, but necessary read for those seeking to address the very real problem of sexual abuse, both outside and inside the church. A survivor herself, DeMuth opens up the difficult parts of her story, deconstructing her experience: who helped her, who did not, and how speaking out can help change the abuse narratives that are firmly in place in society. She offers other survivors' stories, both of how churches helped and how churches hurt. What are we to do to change how survivors AND abusers are treated within the church's walls?

While there are no easy answers, DeMuth gives concrete examples as to how abuse should be handled in the church. There are awful stories of survivors being excluded and hurt further by the extending of "cheap grace" (a term coined by Bonhoeffer) to the perpetrators of said abuse, but also encouraging stories of other churches who stood up and exposed abuse, refusing to let it linger.

I wish I had enough words to explain what a gift this book is to those in church leadership...no place is safe from abuse, sadly, so we should be ready to confront it when we see it. If we have no tolerance for sexual abuse, it strengthens the resolve to eliminate it from our midst, even at a high cost. DeMuth does a wonderful job of taking to task all the imaginable issues in place...the book is very specific and detailed in its complexity. This not a fluffy read, so pray and prepare prior to reading. It will get emotional, if you're anything like me. Don't rush with this one.

There were issues brought up that I may have never experienced personally, but others I could relate to. DeMuth continues to approach subjects that many are afraid to, and this book continues to remind me why I appreciate her involvement in supporting abuse survivors and speaking so openly about how trauma and abuse has affected her life.

I cannot recommend this book more. It is a much needed, honest, unflinching look at where we are as a society in regards to the way we process/help/prevent sexual abuse. The church must do better, and we must do more. Anyone in leadership or those that work with survivors could benefit from this book. Even if you are not in church, the connection between how church should deal with sexual abuse is very applicable to those who are seeking spiritual support after abuse. Please, do not miss out on this book. This would pair well with her previous work, "Not Marked:Finding Hope and Healing After Being Sexually Abused."

I was able to read a PDF version of the book early, thanks to Harvest House, and chose to leave a review. I also pre-oredered a hard copy for myself. Don't miss this one. It's that important, folks. ( )